Family disconnects.

[KAZ234]

Topic wide OPEN,

Would like minded people contribute there experience, find myself estranged from sister. YES many have the same history.
How long is to long to reconnect, I am 70 it’s been a number of years not to many I feel. Random text nothing else.

Life’s short have a happy marriage and wonder do I need to let go.

In my heart I know the answer, do you contact to end relationships or just peaceful end.

This effects no one but my sister doesn’t myself.

KAZ.

.

[Croix]

Dear KAZ234~

I guess to a large extent it depends on the circumstances that lead to the break, and also the genuine desire of both parties to get together again.

My own experience was not that fruitful. Briefly I was disinherited when I decided to marry an "unsuitable" person, prior to which I had faced a deal of toxic behavior in relation to my fiancée.

I cannot say this was a bad thing, I was forced me to grow up and see my parents though a different perspective, which led me to see them as they actually were.

Decades later one of my parents contacted me with a view to recommencing relations. As they were aged and in poor health I felt I ought to make the effort, more from a sense of duty than anything else.

As it turned out this person had not changed in the slightest over the very many intervening years and started to behave in a similar manner to my second wife (my first passed away, unsuitable or not, after 25 lovely years)

Although I persevered I did come to regret I'd agreed to contact.

YMMV of course

Croix

[Learn to Fly]

Hi KAZ234

Big thanks to you for starting this topic. It’s a tough one, isn’t? Family/blood bonds, childhood memories but then adulthood, everyone sort of goes their own ways, leads their own worries etc

Few years back I had a bad row with my brother. We both live in different countries so the entire discussion was done via chat. I wrote to him what I really thought of him. That’s what I thought and felt at the time and it wasn’t nice. I tried to sound objective but he didn’t take it this way. Why would he? Anyhow, we didn’t speak for few months and eventually sort of “glided” into a talk on a chat that we share with my mum. But the row changed something between us. Irreversibly. And on one hand I regret this but then on the other, I don’t. Overall however, I think personally I wouldn’t feel well to cut him off completely.

Again: it’s a tough one…

[Petal22]

Hi KAZ234,

Yes this one is a hard one…

I use to think how does one just decide to cut all ties and decide that it will be the end of a relationship.. I’ve witnessed this happen and thought wouldn’t it be better if they could just forgive?

But then I realised that the person who had cut ties had given and given many times to just be stomped on and this time this person had enough and chose respect for themselves and walked away… I now totally understand that this way it bought the person more peace for themselves. I think it’s a bold move but if it brings you peace then I think it’s a good choice.

The people who are meant to be in our lives always will be … it won’t take effort on either part it comes from wanting a relationship with each other a free flowing relationship only wanting the best for each other.

[geoff]

Hello KAZ, I'm sorry this is an unfortunate situation and even being in a happy marriage doesn't take away the effect this is having on you, because it's troubling you.

Whether there was one, two or more issues why this has happened, do you want to make contact, either to end it or perhaps make good a relationship, wholly depends on who is going benefit from it, you or your sister.

She may not care, while you want to make contact, so if she doesn't want this, then perhaps you're wasting your time and just let it rest, while if you aren't sure, then you need to, in your own mind need to find out, otherwise, this question is going to continually wonder whether or not she wants to make contact.

You say you know the answer, but there's still that query, then you need to satisfy this, so you can finally make contact or leave it, whatever you do you need to look after yourself.

Geoff.

[KAZ234]

Thank you for your replies, they give more to think on.

I find my life in a good place, though this sad part of my life still is there.

I do have a loving brother who asks me how many time do I want to be rejected.

stay safe all KAZ