Hi there CesiNestPasUnePipe and thanks heaps for your very interesting post.
Firstly, If I may ask, why have you chosen this famous Magritte painting as your non de plume? I wonder if you regard your obsessions with friends as some kind of self treachery in some way? After all Magritte also called that painting 'Treachery of Images'.
I would love it if you could enlarge on that a little so we can have a chat.
I am not qualified at all to advise on your post, but happy to provide some thoughts. To me, obsessive dependency may be highlighting something in the way you regard yourself. 'Am I good enough for this person, does this person expect me to contact her often? and so on.
I wonder how she would respond if you opened up your own frailties to her and told her you were a bit concerned that you may be contacting her too often, and how does she really and honestly feel about that? Tell her you value your friendship and would appreciate a good chat about it.
Now this will be pretty hard to do - but think about it in advance, take great care to make the discussion non combative and open, and listen very attentively to the reply she gives.
If she is worth having as a real friend, she will realise you are calling for help and provide exactly that to you. As a result you may feel a sense of freedom to look at making other things in your life busier - eg hobbies, social groups, music instruments, common interest groups etc. This environment may lift your self esteem platform when you realise you are actively engaged with like minded people and not just the friend you are obsessing about.
It may be your friend is filling a need in your life that can be filled by other things?
I'd live to chat some more if you want to, especially about Magrittes painting and how you feel about my thoughts.
All the very best for now,
The Bro
