Hi, welcome
You have so many problems yet you have inspiration in spades. Lets work on this.
Mental health. "Birds of a feather flock together". That is with MI also. MI cannot be seen only our "over the boundary" behaviours are visible. Therefore only those that know what thats like can relate to us. That's the success of this forum- we are of the same feathers. We understand, we embrace rather that shun. Same in society some of the best support you can get is on a forum like this or group therapy locally.
Suicide tendencies. As my brother and uncle both passed that way I've always told others that if someone suggests it is an option for them then take them seriously. Yes it can be an attention issue, which is just as serious as if it was not an attention issue because that person is thinking about the possibility- such is their sadness level. But... you cant change a naïve mind so no point in trying. So for you its best not to mention your suicidal thoughts to them at all and if visiting keep those visits short. Discuss these thoughts with your GP
Social Media Find options rather than blocking people. Maybe consider removing notifications or taking a break. By blocking you are making the relationship terminal seemingly forever. This has ramifications eg no relationship with the coming baby.
Making bridges Sure, remove toxic people from your life if they show no signs of wanting a relationship with you or they are hindering your progress. Dont be afraid of a quick apology and then put in place your brief visiting times. Your dad is focussed on his coming child and so its time to take a back seat with discussing your issues and moving those discussions to therapy classes and so on. Express to your dad that you hope his baby will be healthy and all goes well. Tell him you'll unblock him and keep thing cordial and friendly.
Focus on your life and future Your desire to have your own family is the key to your future. Once you have that on the way your focus will not be on your friends that dont have the empathy level you need. You'll find other mums that share a common interest. And some of those "friends" you had will mature and return to your life. That does happen.
I have a thread below that will also help.
Google- Beyondblue worry worry worry
Repost anytime and as I said you might have issues but you are inspiring- a great parent you'll be. This poem is for you.
Little feather left and right
as it falls slowly in the night
coming from a nest above
bed of twigs and a world of love
Down it falls to the ground
A gust of wind to toss it around
then as the sun rose to dry it out
the lighter it was to get out and about
Then along came a bird full of love
to take little feather to her nest above
where little feather was put in a nest
to warm the heart where baby bird rests....
TonyWK
