Hi, welcome
Sorry to hear of your predicament.
You might get many different views because its a subjective topic. So here is mine.
This problem of unplanned pregnancy has been an issue for thousands of years so you are not the first. What is sad is that many young men dont step up to take responsibility for their actions while at the same time you have regrets yourself and MUST take actions one way or the other as you are carrying the result.
As a first time grandfather just last week and observing my granddaughter in my arms I cant imagine why anyone would want to not have her born no matter the consequences. But thats me. You will have to make sacrifices like far less going out with friends and having to mingle with other mums of babies for company, yes your life will change drastically but that beautiful child will be worth every moment.
For your boyfriend he has his own choices and I wouldnt put pressure on him to make decisions that wont last. He does however need to learn that having a child in his life means responsibility like paying via child support. Eventually he might well take a more active role in the babys life when he matures more. He might even surprise you when the baby is born but expect nothing and anything more than that is a bonus. Try to keep friendship going, communication like sending pics of his child. But remain nice. Your baby deserves his fatherhood in her or his life. Be patient and he might actually enjoy visiting and playing with his child which could lead to you connecting more and moving on to a life together. Friendliness is your best hope for that. Also defend him if others criticize him, he is the father and you both made the mistake.
Re: "...and he’s not sure our relationship can handle the added pressure it will bring." The fact is he doesnt know how he will cope and thats a reflection of his youth. There are many parents even under 20yo but it depends how mature he is.
I would get in touch with professionals that can help you, start with your doctor and he'll refer you. There is a lot of help out there.
Repost anytime. Other members might also post to help out.
TonyWK
