This Rant was brought to you by Kanga
Now you are at home get yourself a cat, probably better than a dog because you won't be able to walk with it, log into facebook, although some people don't like it, but why not, start talking to them on Skype, get the council cleaner to come every week, get meals on wheels, I know someone who has this and he happily talks with them all the time.
Learn a course online, whatever you want that would entail hours of work.
Order your groceries online someone will deliver them, your friend Paul will come along and mention other things and I hope others also do the same. Geoff.
i really like Geoff's suggestions of meals on wheels and someone cleaning because they do provide company/contact during the day. The lady who cleaned my dads house would sit and have a cuppa with him, he alwYs mDe sure he had her favourite biscuits. The nights are hard, I know. I play games on my iPad or hope there is a good movie to pass the time. I think you ,entioned once you've had issues with your local council but I think they have services where someone visits during the day and can spend time or take you out. Pretty sure my dad was offered that.
youve mentioned 2 children, I thought you had more? Sorry to hear they are both disabled. Are they the 2 with learning difficulties/autism? Where are they at the moment.
wish I could help more. You know we are here in the cafe for a chat at night.
It's sad when you are about to get what you have wanted for some time to wonder if it's really what you want. It seems to me that most of this situation is related to living where you do. I do some volunteering with people who have dementia in some form or other and who are at different stages of this illness. These people have daytime respite care from about 9:00am to 2:30 pm. They picked up from home and return the same way. They are able to talk to each other and generally socialise. I know it's not night-time but it does provide a social opportunity.
I also visit people in their homes and stay for one to two hours. Again day-time I know but if the person wants to go somewhere for a short time I can get a car from the organisation to go out. It may be that other organisations can arrange for evening visits.
You may find you would prefer to live in an aged care facility. In this case you can choose a place you would like. Some of the stories you have written sound horrendous and no doubt put you off returning to a similar place. Once home you can be an active partner looking for a suitable residence which is the only successful way of meeting your needs.
I hesitate to suggest organisations to discuss this matter as I don't know you very well. Perhaps you can talk to some of the church-based services. Other organisations also have these services. Perhaps you can spend some of your computer time researching other places to live.
Of course household services are available but I think you know about these.
So may I suggest you get on the computer and start designing the assistance you would like. In the various options from different organisations you may a combination that suits you. With NDIS you can get services from several organisations at the same time, just choose what you want. Because of the changes in the way the money pool is used organisations are very keen to be your provider so you have control over what happens.
Good luck with the research.
I really am sorry you are struggling at the moment. You are one awesome person.
Don't know if I can be of any help but this is what I'm doing . I have been on my own now for 4 long years.
I can relate to the part of nighttime loneliness so well. I can go days at a time without even sighting anyone I live in a really small town and in the last back street where not even cars go by through the day..
First couple of years cried myself to sleep. What I do now is i bought this mobile phone and I joined Facebook. I wasn't interested in that so I searched youtube on this phone
I searched full length movies. There is hundreds of them dating back to when tv first came out..I can pick n choose what I feel like watching.
I must admit that the last 2 months or so I have been watching and listening to motivational videos and meditation videos as suggested by these wonderful people here on bb. To try and heal my broken mind.
Also you can put apps on your phone or computer where you can play scrabble, checkers, chess etc. with anyone from around the world which also has a chat line so you can also talk while playing. ( I haven't done this for a while as too much has been happening in my life atm).
Books are another thing there are thousands of to read free. I am not a reader so this for me didn't work but if you like reading this will be good also.
I used to look at the night for all the hours in it but in actual fact it's around 6 hours to get through and if sleep comes to me quick enough well the morning arrives..
Not sure if i am of any help Kanga but I thought I would just let you know what I try to do.
Some nights yeah nothing works for me, but other nights do .
Still cannot shake this feeling of dread trying to climb stairs to my home afraid of falling. Now panicking over the hole deal yet I need it to get out of where I am devil and deep blue sea I still want freedom
i of mobility with out this assessment I wont get it ever. Being locked up in here is killing me spiritually and and mentally I am loosing my facilities because I am not using them in here I cannot pass on to the next generation what they need to know.to survive in this world.