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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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LMClost Marriage advice needed - Struggling with trust & lying
  • replies: 5

Ok this is my 1st time posting... So I am married (a little over a year) and have been with my wife for over 5 years. I am a compulsive liar and this was affecting our relationship. I sought out councelling early last year and I genuinely feel that i... View more

Ok this is my 1st time posting... So I am married (a little over a year) and have been with my wife for over 5 years. I am a compulsive liar and this was affecting our relationship. I sought out councelling early last year and I genuinely feel that it had helped me. We have grown closer after mistrust in me because of these lies. (I have never cheates on her and lies were mainly money related but I don't do that anymore) We sleep in seperate beds due to my snoring and our intimacy is pretty low. My wife has endometriosis (hope I spelt that right) so it is difficult for her to have sex. The 30th Dec , I was scrolling through a website when ashley madison popped up...I clicked on and browsed for about 5/10 minutes then removed the account and went back to the original (i felt both guilty and it was boring). Anyway the days after I had a picture of me on my phone with a tile accross my face (I think I had accidentally screen shot it) and my wife seen it. I completely panicked and told a flat out lie which she knew it was a lie. I made an excuse to leave the house because i was shaking and panicked. Anyway I came home and told her the truth. She is hurt, feels betrayed and I will be going to see another councellor shortly but I feel like this time it's over! I feel physically sick (have vomited for 4 days straight) and depressed with the thought of losing what we have together and what we could have created. I know I am disgusting for going onto that site (believe me I hate myself for it) but she is so distraught by the lies. I think I needed to post this to get it off my chest but I'm at a loss as to how to save my marriage! I love her but I needed to respect her! LMC

ang3m some clarity and help
  • replies: 6

First time posting... I have been sitting with some unhelpful thoughts and not coping. My partner and I have been together for 8 years. Through this, he has suffered from depression, and I from GAD. Around 6 months ago we had a massive argument, that... View more

First time posting... I have been sitting with some unhelpful thoughts and not coping. My partner and I have been together for 8 years. Through this, he has suffered from depression, and I from GAD. Around 6 months ago we had a massive argument, that has now turned into him shutting off, telling me he doesn't feel anything towards me, no love, no attraction. He going to a psych and they have said it is trauma and depression. Our arguing has gotten worse. At least twice a week. He says all he feels is anger and sadness. My head tells me it's my fault, I should leave, he is too nice to leave. I keep reading of stories similar, and they say that they look for relationships with other people to make them feel good. He is making new friends online all of which are female. I am feeling incredibly insecure and not good enough. I don't know what to do. I just want things back to normal. Before 6 months ago. I feel like he has already slipped away and our time together is pretty much done.

Taylah75 Should I be there or am I wasting my time, need some advice
  • replies: 56

I was in a 2yr relationship until 10 days ago. In brief. He split from his marriage 3 months before we met me, his ex wife had affair with mate. we both have kids & introduced them at the start they didn't get along and then they did. We didn't see e... View more

I was in a 2yr relationship until 10 days ago. In brief. He split from his marriage 3 months before we met me, his ex wife had affair with mate. we both have kids & introduced them at the start they didn't get along and then they did. We didn't see each other much during week as I have son 12 out of 14 days and he has his one week on one week off. There was never any pressure on living with each other. We both accepted that could be something down the track when boys older. Two different kids etc. We had fun, good friendship, there for each other and on a physical level very well connected. We text and spoke every day. The last few months both had a bit going on. My friend was dying of cancer and I was there for her through her journey. Visited her in QLD. Etc and organised a wake for her in Melbourne. My boyfriend about 3 weeks ago purchased a property with large mortgage, had issues with his son and having issues with work meaning job on the line. He's been in his job only 10 weeks. Since the purchase of his property I noticed changes which was only the past four weeks. He was becoming more angry towards me which wasn't like him to be so angry, he was putting me down about my job etc I said what is wrong with you. My head was spinning out of control. I said what is going on. He then said he can't deal with my son, doesn't want him around. I felt really hurt. He hadn't seen him for about two months. after another chat with him on Friday just gone, Nothing was mentioned about My son. He said he hates Melbourne and people here, has done it again meaning he owns something that now owns him his mortgage. Issues with job, said initially he didn't want kids and is not enjoying having his son one week on and one week off due to son not listening or doing anything. His mum not helping or supporting him at all. He likes control within his home environment, doesn't like change, he is a home body and creature of habit. He gave me a hug when I left and wouldn't let me go. Sent text saying I love him and he text and said he feels like a monster. he did say things that hurt me at the end but feel he's out of control of his life. He said he wants to be alone with no relationship and happy just him and his dog. I feel he's lashed out and not coping. Sent text Tuesday and said I do want to be there. He replied and said thanks your right I'm flat out. Just need advice if I be there or not. Is he depressed and lashed out? Do I be there

2under2 Severe seperation anxiety
  • replies: 2

Hi, I am a mother of previously 2 under 2. There is a reason that this has a lot of stigma attached, it is really really really hard. And not just until the older one turns two..but well and truly long afterwards. My 10 month old has extremely sever ... View more

Hi, I am a mother of previously 2 under 2. There is a reason that this has a lot of stigma attached, it is really really really hard. And not just until the older one turns two..but well and truly long afterwards. My 10 month old has extremely sever separation anxiety and will not leave my side for a second. Sometimes she will will go to her father but not for long and she won't let him feed her. The older one is also extremely clingy to me and wants to be held and attended to constantly. Basically its all me, all of the time. I cant even go to the toilet or get myself a glass of water without being yelled for. It makes me feel extremely anxious and claustrophobic. I hope that someone will be able to give me some advice..

Smiley_face Lonely
  • replies: 5

Hi I have a 3 month old baby and no friends. The only people I no r family/ inlaws. I use to have friends but one by one we fell out. i have a husband who is always to busy to spend time with me. He runs his own business and is always working. He get... View more

Hi I have a 3 month old baby and no friends. The only people I no r family/ inlaws. I use to have friends but one by one we fell out. i have a husband who is always to busy to spend time with me. He runs his own business and is always working. He gets 4 weeks off every year over xmas but this year his family came and spent the whole 4 weeks so he was busy with them all holidays and can't spend one on one time with me, he sleeps in a seperate room at night because the baby crys and doesn't want to be disturbed i feel lonely and this makes me sad im trying to b a good sport but I can't help but feel this way. Him and his relatives planned an activity I can not participate in because I have the baby I expressed to him that this made me feel left out but the choice is his if he wants to do this activity or not. He said he wants to do it but if I don't want him to he won't. I just want him to want to spend time with me because he prefers it. Not because I ask him to.

Nickname_F206AE54-1EC8-48 My son's best mate died by suicide
  • replies: 6

hello i just signed up..today was one of the hardest days of my life as a mum as my sons best mate was laid to rest at 19 years of age....suicide

hello i just signed up..today was one of the hardest days of my life as a mum as my sons best mate was laid to rest at 19 years of age....suicide

Cherries Pushed my support network away for good
  • replies: 4

i have been suffering from what i assume is depression for the last two/three years due to past family and relationship incidents. i have lost a lot of my social network due to no motivation to socialise, my family have issues of their own to deal wi... View more

i have been suffering from what i assume is depression for the last two/three years due to past family and relationship incidents. i have lost a lot of my social network due to no motivation to socialise, my family have issues of their own to deal with so i'm on my own here. i had recently met someone very genuine, honest and caring. However as much as i tried to let them in i couldn't do it and had pushed them away multiple times. This person has understood my issues and perservered until yesterday when i guess the final straw was drawn. i'm 100% sure all hope is gone as their last words were harsh but fair and for me to never contact them again. they will never know how much i cared about them and how much i want and need their support. i don't know what to do, i haven't stopped crying over this. do i let them go and lie in my bed or do i try and contact them again? any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Ambrosia Empty friends/empty family = alone
  • replies: 10

Hi. Well, it's prob been a yr since I posted - but hey, if any time of yr could make you feel bad, it's Xmas! How many genuine friends do people have? Really? I'm 41 and my circle is incredibly small. My husband is FANTASTIC and my best friend I have... View more

Hi. Well, it's prob been a yr since I posted - but hey, if any time of yr could make you feel bad, it's Xmas! How many genuine friends do people have? Really? I'm 41 and my circle is incredibly small. My husband is FANTASTIC and my best friend I have some old friends that's very hard to see (I work I hospitality and the hrs are non-conducive to maintaining relationships). my family life is a mess. My mother died 7 yrs ago, my father left me for another woman (he has cancer but we can't see him because she won't let us), I'm estranged from my sister and my brother only appears when he needs too. One so-called best friend (of almost 30 yrs), stopped talking to me because we had a falling out (I believe many mature people would see it for what it was and move on - although deep down I believe it's because she's so miserable that my happy marriage and successes is pushing to the forefront the misery she's trying to deny). My other so-called best friend, of 20 yrs or so, became so unsupportive and rude and belittling, I'm guessing over the same thing), that I called it quits last year. so now it's me, my husband, a handful of old workmates that I struggle to see (I've lost some along the way - the girl I was bridesmaid for moved to tassie and forgot to tell me!) and my beloved cat. i work a lot but I adore the commerardery of my workplace that I don't want to give it up because then I'm worried I would lose those friends too (I know I will . Staff range from 19-47 yo so I know a lot of it is friends due to location). I just don't want to be alone . I love spending time by myself but I can't handle loneliness. so how many friends do adults have? What's common? I'm proud I cleared false friends out of my life over the years but I don't want to be alone . I won't cope. That's why I work so much and have gone back to Uni. To fill a hole where my love and trust disappeared to.

Angelstar My Partners Mother is crazy
  • replies: 4

I honestly don't know what to do about this lady. My future in law. My partner and I are quite serious about our relationship, but his mother is convinced that I'm a good digger or to that affect. She's recently divorced last year and has a relations... View more

I honestly don't know what to do about this lady. My future in law. My partner and I are quite serious about our relationship, but his mother is convinced that I'm a good digger or to that affect. She's recently divorced last year and has a relationship with a man who everytime I see him, he has a drink in hand or smells of alcohol and smoke, she has triplet boys at home as well as my partner who still lives at home. She harasses him about him spending money all The time, even though that money is money he has earned himself and spends on things he wants, she complains that I don't spend as much money on him, so why should he be using his on me? I'm a student currently looking for work and he has a job. Just yesterday she kicked him out of her house, which he pays rent and board money to live at, and told him to do what he wants, with seemingly no trigger at why she was angry at all. She was apparently upset that all I bought my partner for his birthday was a key ring, but we also went out on a date and dinner earlier that week, as well as Christmas, I didn't give him a present, because we went on a trip together for New Years. Now, she's harassing him with messages that I'm no good for him, and that I'm just using him and one day he'll see I'm no good at all. She never talks to me, and ignores my attempts at conversation. I really don't know how to clear her misconceptions of me, if she won't even talk to me. For the time being my partner is staying with me and friends, but we're both scared to death of her because she's saying things like she'll call the police for assault and tresspassing when we went to gather his belongings. She had the aura of someone who would kill, were honestly scared she would try to. how do you even deal with someone is a reasonable way, when they have no reason?

DianaPrince Depressed. Love her and left her.
  • replies: 10

This is what my partner did. After a period of withdrawing from me he told me loves me more than anything or anyone.. but that he can't commit to a relationship and can't be with me. A few weeks later he said he said he regretted breaking up with me.... View more

This is what my partner did. After a period of withdrawing from me he told me loves me more than anything or anyone.. but that he can't commit to a relationship and can't be with me. A few weeks later he said he said he regretted breaking up with me... and that he still loves me... but doesn't want his depression to hurt me. It's almost beautiful in a way... after some time talking again he again withdrew and this new years told me he wants me to let go. I can't. I love him. I will always love him. I will never abandon him. I don't understand why he left if he loves me so? Why push away the one person who loves you the most... the one person who cares and can really support you?