Hi WantsPeace,
I’m so sorry that you are in this position and feel so isolated where you are. It does sound as though you are in an emotionally abusive relationship and you are exhibiting a lot of the signs that I recognize from when I was in one. I think that counseling would be really good for you. However, just be aware that couples counseling is often not recommended for relationships in which one person is abusive. Because couples counseling focuses on how “both parties contribute to problems and can improve”, an abusive person will often try and wield that against you later - certainly this was the case for me. If you do decide on couples counseling (better than nothing right!), just try and make sure that the counselor is at least experienced with domestic violence so that they can recognize the signs. Whatever happens with that, I think that individual counseling would be a good idea as they can help you find your strength again and provide you with a bit of insight. I also found “Why does he do that? inside the minds of angry and controlling men” to be a real eye opener for me and helped clear up a lot of the confusion that I had from being blamed for everything. It’s a free ebook written by an expert in domestic violence.
I hope you continue to hang around here, it sounds like you could do with some friends at the moment 😊
