Don't know what to do

[Cate59]

I am 59 my long time boyfriend has asked me to marry him. He knows I suffer from depression. I also care for my daughter who suffers from severe anxiety and finds it extremely difficult to cope with change. I am told by everyone I deserve to be happy but find this difficult to believe as I have always put others first. My daughter does is not happy with my decision to marry and move away. I either give up my plans or send her to live with her father, who said when we separated he did not want her ruling his life. He is remarried, I do think it is time for him to care for her for a while but just don't know how to go about making it happen. I am told to get a thicker skin and do what I want for a change.Only people don't understand what it is like to be depressed and also care for someone you love and don't want to upset. My daughter is 35 and has other problems part from anxiety which are it nearly impossible for her to live by herself. I am not sure if this is the right place to ask for advice. Maybe someone has been in a similar position. I am becoming more and more confused and depressed in trying to work out what to do . I know I can't make everyone happy but what do I do?

[geoff]

Hi Cate, welcome to the forums.

I realise you want to put other people before yourself, which is great and very considerate, but from what you have told us, is that you are more concerned about your daughter who can't live by herself for unknown reasons.

It's not fair for people to tell you to 'get a thicker skin' because you have 2 loves, your boyfriend and your daughter and to find any resolution is not easy because it's making you feel confused.

We often say to people 'you have to look after yourself', however, there are times when the situation may turn around.

If you want to, you can get back to us, we hope you do, because a little more information will help us to give you what you're asking for.

Kind regards.

Geoff.