Disowned by my own family

[Kiyomi]

Its been 8 years since my whole family disowned me (i was 16) and i still feel like i cant let go, mostly because i dont even have a reason for why they didnt love me anymore, i never did anything that would provoke it.

I am now married with two beautiful children but i find every day so hard to cope with. im always in fear that my husband will fall out of love with me, and i struggle alot to whole heartedly love my own daughter and to top it off my 5mth old has born with a deformity and im so scared about the surgeries he will have to have, i feel so alone every time there is a major life event in my life i dont have my mum, dad grandparents etc to talk to and guide me, i have no support my friends think im "fine" even when i have a full on break down in front of them or they just dont care about me and focus on their other friend who is much more important, its driving me nuts.

i constantly live in fear that i will lose everything...i guess i just want to know...am i alone?? has anyone ever been disowned by their family?? how do you cope? can you ever overcome the feelings or just manage them? its just so hard to see other people so close to their mums... or grand kids getting spoilt, i feel like my kids got ripped off.

[Huntswoman]

Hi Kiyomi,

It is heartbreaking to hear your story and the stories of everybody else on this post. It would be lovely to see you all face to face and send you blessings and love.

I too have been disowned by my family in the last year, and have been rejected by them over the years before this over and over for me being (as they see it) too emotional, stupid and making the wrong decisions in life. They all reject my partner and soon to be husband.

18 months ago, I had my daughter with my soon-to-be husband and they were not there to support us through this incredibly tough stage of life. We had no family support and to top it off I ended up with post-natal depression and my partner did too. Instead of supporting us they created a trench between the two of us and I only got worse. Recently I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at a public psychiatric hospital, and to be honest it has been the best thing that has ever happened.

My family was contacted because of it, and I can see plainly that they are simply not supportive and incredibly selfish people. It has been a time of realisation. When I have made a good way through my recovery I will not be having much to do with them.

The things that got me through all this:

-Mindfulness

- Realised that being in my family environment has created my mental illness. So I've realised that its better not to be around them, but now that they are in the picture, I do have to deal with them, so I just think that I no longer need to please them.

-Since I've been diagnosed, my partner trusts me now, because I used to get emotional at the drop of a hat and he wouldnt understand why, whereas now, he knows whats going on for me mentally. This has allowed us to start fresh and we are enjoying our relationship so much more.

-Remembering that your children only need you and your husband. If the people in your family don't want to accept you and your beautiful family, so be it. They will miss out on knowing your wonderful hearts and that is their loss. it might take a while, but accepting this will help you greatly. You will find a new surrogate family as soon as you let the old go.

Best wishes and blessings to you and your family.

[Simone1981]

As much as it is heartbreaking to read all this its ni e to know im not alone on my journey of being disowned by my family. Thank you all for sharing i have recently been disowned and its devasting but reading all these posts makes me feel less alone thank you all for sharing.