Ex keeps coming back after breakup

[CoryL]

Hi there,

I've been undergoing a rough breakup recently and don't really have many to talk to. I was in a relationship with this other person for 5 months before but I couldn't handle all the arguing and stresses involved so I broke up with her. The relationship moved quickly within even the first few weeks with her saying I love you and wanting me to move in with her. After a month I basically did live with her by spending most days with each other but then after a while she said she felt stuck with me and had no freedom so I proposed to spend more time at the place I was renting to give space. She then thought after not sending many messages she wanted to send a text "forgot about me and move on" which broke my heart.

Then we fought at that point to keep the relationship going which then we evened out the troubles. After that though the problems just seemed to rise to the point where it felt like walking on eggshells to bring up slight issues with the relationship. We've both done wrong with this relationship but I realized when to stop hurting each other and break things off. The problem is what do I do now? She keeps sending unpleasant messages, coming to the place I live, begging to come back. It's gotten me to the point I don't feel safe in my own living space. Please some guidance would be appreciative.

Thank you

[Guest_7403]

Just tell her you feel harassed in a text and that if she contact you for be it any reason you'll be calling the police to arrange an intervention order

Its enough to scare most people off

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi CoryL,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this, it sounds like it's been really difficult.

Can I ask, what happens when she does message you or rock up on your doorstep - what is it that you say?

I'm asking this not because I think it's your fault that this is happening, but because when you and your ex are sky high in emotions it's so easy to have mixed messages and mixed communications.

I guess that I would be hoping that you'd be able to say something like "This is over. I'm not interested. I don't want to see you. Please stop trying to get in touch with me." Obviously it might need to be kinder/more blunt, depending on how you feel. You also may need to ignore her messages, as I'd be imagining she'd be itching for any kind of response.

Not sure if this is helpful or not?