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Crying lots damaging my relationship

Hollybambam
Community Member
Hi all,
First time posting here. I used to get a lot of comfort from forums so was pleased to find one on beyond blue.

My partner and I are quite different emotionally in both how we experience and manage it
I find I cry very easily, over almost every intense emotion: sadness, anxiety, anger even profound happiness.
I flair up and cry fast and I think it's damaging my relationship with my partner
She's used to me a little now and isn't so affected with fast crying, but I always feel guilty and anxious after I cry over something that probably didn't warrant it.

When I cry over something I feel like she might be thinking in her head that I'm so much work, that I'm trying to manipulate her or that I'm just plain overreacting all the time.

I feel bad. I wish I had better emotional control. Crying, whether it's a natural empathetic response or not never improves a conversation or argument. Even if the other person knows it just happens to you. It poisons the interaction. It poisons the memory which locks in that negative association.

Im not sure what I'm asking for. Maybe some advice? It's always helpful to hear from others having similar problems and what they're doing that helps.

Thanks,
H.
3 Replies 3

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi,welcome

This post brings back memories for me. Crying easily isn’t a good thing to endure.

google

Beyondblue topic dysthymia

Now that isn’t a diagnosis, we cannot do that process, in my view it demand one starting with your GP.

There can be many ways you can end up a “crier, childhood trauma,abuse,bullying etc. I’ve been seeking treatment for dysthymia for 10 years and it transformed my life.

best of luck

TonyWK

Juliet_84
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Hollybambam,

Like you, I am quick to cry in situations where I am talking about my emotions or anxious or if tensions have risen, even in sad ads! I hate it sometimes because I think that people don’t take me seriously or it derails a conversation and I can’t adequately get my point across. I’ve also had boyfriends accuse me of “hijacking the argument” by crying, which isn’t my intention at all. It’s just purely a physiological reaction that I cannot help. Although you think that your partner is judging you, she doesn’t seem to have actually said anything. So I just wanted to know what makes you think that she is judging you for it? Perhaps have a chat with her about it and gauge where she sits on it. I’d maybe just make a joke like “I know I’m a wuss bag/softie but I can’t help it”. So what if you cry, you’re not hurting anyone so I cant honestly see why it should matter to anyone.

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Hollybambam and Juliet, thank you both for posting and hi Tony, well we use crying as a way to communicate our own emotional response we have, and please there is no blame at all, simply because that's exactly what happened to me, and I say this because I was trying to cope with depression.

People may criticise us from crying at something that they don't believe warrants that type of emotion, simply because they don't understand the deepness of this illness.

We can't forget that stress is a normal reaction to some of life’s everyday events, and constant stress could be an indication of anxiety, not that I'm qualified to say.

This can possibly prevent you from doing the things you want to do and live the life you want to.

Can I please suggest that you book an appointment with your GP to start off with, and then hopefully we can hear back from you.

Take care.

Geoff.