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Cheated on for a 2nd time

A1-A2_A
Community Member

Hi All,

 

My partner has cheated on me with a coworker her coworker also has a partner too. 

About 18 months ago she had emotionally cheated for a few months and kissed a female friend. 

I forgave her the first time and asked her to be honest. A few things occurred that on and off made me feel like I wasn’t respected. 

However when I would try to talk to her about anything she would start to cry or snap before we actually could address anything so I gave up trying to speak to her and hoped she would chat to me when she was ready. 

We have had some great times together but with this recent incident which is by far the worst. I asked her to leave, when I confronted her and she wasn’t honest. 

Eventually she told me her side of what happened. A drunk accident yet the text conversation between the two suggests otherwise. 

It felt like I didn’t know who this person was. She is completely different to work colleagues, her family and friends.

 

it does feel like she doesn’t respect me or care, yet claims she does but in a backhanded way before trying to shift blame in some odd way too me. 

 

Yet she was cold and callous toward me. We have chatted since but when it feels like we are making progress toward addressing an issue. She will go from 0-100, then she will throw anything at me about any issue but not address or even take accountability for her actions. 

She said she doesn’t want it too end, I have asked for space and to see a professional.

 

Which is what she suggested yet the closer we get to making the appointment or making positive progress she becomes come again.

 

I see the positive aspect of her, yet I also feel like she is someone I don’t know. I have told her this but she doesn’t give me much at all. 

I would like to resolve the issue, though am I making the right decision or should I just move on?

 

 

1 Reply 1

smallwolf
Community Champion
Community Champion

hello and welcome.

 

It sounds like you're in a very difficult situation, and I'm sorry you're going through this. For myself, there are two things that are important in any relationship - open communication and trust. It seems here that trust has been compromised in yours and the way your partner addresses the situation when you bring it up would suggest open communication is one way.

 

Do you feel there are people close to you that you could talk to? Another possibility is seeking professional help is a positive step. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health.

 

The decision to what happens next is not something I could really say. To move on? Or try to work through things? The only thing I can suggest is to prioritize your own happiness and peace of mind.

 

If you feel like you're not being respected or your partner isn't taking accountability for their actions, it may be worth considering whether this relationship is truly fulfilling for you in the long run.