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Cannot seem to let it go.

Tesss
Community Member
Hi all , Ive been quite miserable of late.. My unhappy marriage ended three years ago and I thought I was over it . Nope. We function well as seperated parents. I want to let go of the anger and disappointment I feel toward him. I want to forgive myself for staying...its hard . I am generally a happy very motivated person....even I think it sounds silly . It was 3:years ago....
4 Replies 4

monkey_magic
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
I wouldn't worry too much about there still being feelings I think this is quite normal given the circumstances. You still see him and you function well as seperated parents. As far as grief is concerned three years might not be a long time compared to how long you were together. Grief has it's cycles and can linger for years. Forgiving yourself would be setting yourself free and I'd look into doing that for you-give yourself that gift. As far as letting go that can take time but it's possible. The ball is in your court.

Thankyou. I am focusing on forgiving myself. We were together for 18 years. I have had severe depression in the past ( prior to marriage ) and Im working to not fall back into that horrible hole.

monkey_magic
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
Oh definitely, once you've had depression it's not a place u want to go back to so yeh use your power to keep it from returning....I've got my battles too and doing what I can. Walked a whole length of a beach today, still don't think I feel like I should but being a work in progress will be a challenge I hope I can manage. Severe depression would be the pits. Well done for coming this far then....do u have any tips to share on how u beat it?

Hiya tesss, god you wouldn't believe how weird saying that feels , it's my now ex gf's name.

But look 3yrs isn't that long , the women always surprise me in this stuff some are dating 3 mths after a 20yrs marriage, some are 6 or 12mths and wondering why they aren't in a new relationship already.

l don't think relapsing after 3 yrs is long at all tbh myslef. It's 5 1/2 yrs for me and even though l met that gf 2yrs ago , nearly,, so around the 3yrs , the whole divorce thing still hurts like hell if l let myself think about it. So go easy on yourself eh , you've made it this far and so you've done really really well ok. Pat on back.

lt's such a roller coaster , hang in there , good and bad days still but gradually the good become more and more. l'll tell you something really weird , often you will even like being single and having you all to yourself , soon.

Keep on keeping on eh, your doing great.