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Cannot feel love :(

Community Member


im luke I'm 28,

one night while laying next to my wife in bed a thought crossed my mind

( what if I don't love her)

well as soon as that happened instant anxious and feeling sick, that was about 6 weeks ago and I have gone down hill, I just could not stop thinking about the though "maybe I don't love her" it made me so worked up and worried, I told her all about it and she was very comforting in saying after 6 years feeling don't just stop, I have gone through bad anxciety and she was my rock through all of that before.

i have been to the doctor and she put me on meds and have been starting to see psychiatrist and am getting cognitive behavioural therapy to try and help me.. I just feel so alone and scared I know I really love my wife but my mind tells me otherwise 😞 😞 😞

2 Replies 2

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Luke

Sorry to hear that you have had a rough six weeks.

I think it is really positive that you shared what went through your mind with your wife. And her response was great. She obviously knows you really well and has been there for you before.

You mention that you have been to the GP and seeing a psychiatrist. Is this the first time you have seen someone? And going on the meds, is this because you have experienced anxiety previously so this was the next course of action?

There might be some more natural ways to clear your mind. For example, exercise and eating well. And making sure you get some sunshine at some point each day - it sounds silly but we were designed to be outside doing things not being inside all day.

How much time are you going to wait to see if the meds and CBT work?

Blue Jane

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

HI Lukeyluke

Have you ever heard of intrusive thoughts? It is common for someone with anxiety. They are unwanted, unwelcome thoughts and they can be distressing and they can be hard to eliminate from your brain. I am not a doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist but it sounds like this could be an intrusive thought.

I suggest talking to a professional about it. When my anxiety was high I would have several intrusive thoughts and they were always unpleasant and would cause my anxiety to get worse. It can be a viscous cycle. But thanks to my psychologist and GP I am now about to manage it. I know only have intrusive thoughts at most once a fortnight where as it used to happen daily.

I tried not to overlap with the great advice Blue Jane had already gone into. Hope this has helped as well.