Can i move in with my dad without my mums consent?

[Bree]

Hi, i am 17 years old and just wondering if i am able to move in with my dad without my mums consent. She has said to me that m there was a court order stating that she has full custody but i have talked to my dad and he said there was never a court order or anything,so she doesnt have full custody. 

My mum is a handfull she constantly blames me or my boyfriend for stuff, she accuses me of smoking and alot of other things (i would never smoke, i have an issue with my gums) she gets mad at me, she doesnt let me have a social life, im not allowed to sleepover or go to anyone's house, she complains about my boyfriend alot because apparently he doesnt support me or encourage me to do good in school at all but everyone i know including me says otherwise. She has put me and my siblings through alot of emotional trauma with the past boyfriends she has had and for me it was physical and emotional trauma. Im just really done with her, i am currently living with a family friend as where mum lives the school there only goes to grade 10 so i moved to where i am for year 11 and 12, my dad moves here in november.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Bree

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story.

It sounds as though your relationship with your mum has been really challenging and I’m sorry that you have experienced emotional trauma. I can understand why you are keen to move in with your father.

I am not a lawyer, but I would think that even if there was a court order granting your mum full custody it would be quite dated. As you are now almost an adult, this order could be reviewed and I believe that you would have a voice at such a hearing. In other words, you could tell the judge where you would like to live.

Having said that, many family law matters such as yours are decided outside of a courtroom either through a formal mediation process or by the opposing parties just talking to each other. And given the cost and stress of legal proceedings, I would highly recommend that you start the process by talking with your mother. Is that something you feel you could do?

Without “attacking” her, you could simply explain that you would like to live with Dad and explain why. Bear in mind that this could be quite an emotional discussion and you might like to organise a support person to be present. You can contact an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 to find out more about your rights and to seek advice about how to talk to mum and what you have to do to reach your goal. 
Kind thoughts to you

 

[Bree]

Mum isnt the type to just sit down and hear people out, she told me she had a court order saying she has full custody but my dad is saying there isnt anything. I cant talk to her about anything, all she cares about is guys she would much rather be out or sleeping with a dude then talking to me about anything

[Summer Rose]

Hello Bree

I hear you. You can’t talk to your mum about this.

I just thought from a relationship perspective it would be good for you and mum to talk but it’s probably best if Dad talks to her anyway. As you are under 18 your parents should sort this out together and do what’s in your best interests. Hopefully this can happen informally, quickly and without too much stress for you.

Will dad talk to mum? If not, how does he think the situation should be handled?
I don’t know what could happen if you move in with dad without her permission and violate a court order, but I imagine any consequences would fall to your father. (If there is an agreement it’s between them and you are a child.) You should be able to find out precise information from your local legal aid office without incurring any costs.

Kind thoughts to you