Breaking up with kids

Michelle2000 · ‎07-01-2018

I suffer bad anxiety especially in my relationship.. i feel like i spend my life tip toeing to keep him happy.. i get so much anxiety with every phone call from him just thinking it will end in a fight, because when we do fight i seem to always be crying myself to sleep while he just gets angry an blames me for everything, i know its unhealthy but i feel like thats why ive stayed this long (7 years). Ive tried breaking it off before but my anxiety gets the better of me i cant seem to turn it off. And as soon as we get back together i feel my anxiety about what hes doing kind of subside.. i just feel so drained.. i kind of feel like im going to be depressed if i leave an depressed if i stay so i feel really torn up and stuck.

I often try an picture my life when i leave.. i picture being free but then the fear of being alone in the world scares me back..

We have 2 kids together as well so its not a situation where i can just cleanly leave i know he will probably purposely make things as bad as he can with the kids i dont trust him at all i just so miserable.. i remember when i was happy i miss it, i miss the old me 😕

geoff · ‎08-01-2018

hello Michelle, living in a situation like this is not healthy, which you already know about, but if you feel as though you are controlled by him in everything you do then are you living a happy life.

The fear you have of being without him is just a temporary feeling, but I know it's real worry but after a little while your life will change, that's what we have to convince you.

You can't be under his dominance forever, especially as the kids grow older because it's bound to get worse as you say will be restricted and then your depression will become deeper, so what you need to do is explore different areas where you could move to.

Your title says 'Breaking up kids' but you are worried about what he will do with them and certainly don't trust him, so this complicates the situation. Geoff.

Michelle2000 · ‎08-01-2018

Thanks geoff, im already on medication for my anxiety to so i dont know what else i could do.

Its so bad i feel like throwing up.. i havent eaten in days either..

I dont really have friends , i put everything into my relationship.. just so scared to spend all my time alone.. i hate not having anyone to tell about my day and just having that person to text when youre bored..

He will be back tomorrow and ill have to have the break up conversation. I think i will feel some relief but at the same time utter loneliness