Blamed for Everything

[Guest_67956491]

Hi! Been married for more than a year. Wife is struggling emotionally and is going to therapy every now and then. She also has hyperthyroidism. I tried to understand her whenever she loses it and lashes out at me and blames me why she has to go through with anxiety and depression.

And just a few hours ago, she blamed me why some people at her workplace is talking shit about her. She said that I’m not protecting her because people will not be doing that to her if they know I will defend her. Day and night, I’m listening to all her share her thoughts. Whether we’re driving, eating, watching or even before we go to sleep. 

Am I wrong for telling her that why is my fault that there are people like them at her work? 

[TrueSeeker]

Hello

I can see how hard this is for you. You're trying your best and it's not working. It's not you, you're doing as much as you can.

It seems that your wife is confused and stuck in all details and negativity and losing the focus on the big picture. She doesn't know what to do with it and in the end blames others for it as she thinks it's the only way to feel better. It's not very good for the loved ones.

Maybe a gentle reminder that the big picture is good and things will be ok might work. As long as there is more good than bad, it's all good. Focusing on the bad things takes away the enjoyment of the good things.

I can understand how hard this can be, please take very good care of yourself and let us know how you're coping whenever you feel like it