Being ghosted

[Corella]

I am being ghosted by a man i spent 8 months talking with. He keptcalling me, so i took it as interest. Well i fell in love, after being chronically single. Im 42. Im childless never married. Why do ppl play these games? What should i do. I believe some ppl never find love. During the 8 months i hardly cried i was so happy. Anyone got advice

[Tay100]

Hi Corella,

Thanks for posting- we are so sorry to hear of your sadness and frustration- being ghosted is never fun for anyone. But please remember you aren't the only one going through this- it happens every day. What's important is to be gentle with ourselves. Feel what you need to feel. Acknowledge the anxieties you have about finding love. Please know that you are worthy and deserving of giving and receiving love.

Self-care and do things to lift your spirits. Bake, meditate, have a spa night. Immerse your senses and ground yourself in positive distraction, let these good distractions add to your routine. You can also reach out and have a good chat about here- we are here to listen. The BB Social Zone https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone is a great place to find helpful social connections too. Community is important and can help with healing.

Sending kindness your way- let us know how you are travelling or if you want to talk about it more, we are here 🙂

Tay100

[ecomama]

Hi Corella

I'm sorry this person 'ghosted' you after 8 months of talking. Quite bad manners in my opinion. I see a lot of confused people, that have felt pretty hurt because of online dating and the behaviours of others almost appears accepted now.

A pretty rotten 'norm'.

I have a saying "Just because it's COMMON, doesn't mean it's NORMAL".

I also watched a 'comedy special' on Netflix last night and one of the comedians said something like "Tinder will introduce you to brand new ways of getting your feeling hurt that did NOT exist before". Yeah but hurt is hurt, so you're feeling hurt and need ways to get through this.

I don't have a magic cure. Being kind to yourself like Tay suggested is a good thing.

Take care and keep posting if you want to share.

EM

[PlainJane01]

I know it’s a very saddening situation to be in, but please don’t take the ‘ghosting’ as a reflection on you but the man you were talking to.

It’s great that he made you so happy when you were with him. BUT there will always be another man out there who makes you even happier than the last one.

Your marital status is not anything to be ashamed of, based on your wording I can see it saddens you. But recognise the good qualities in yourself that are more valuable then marital status. Such as personal strengths, accomplishments, hobbies, activities or visuals that make you smile, career success, unique interests and positive relationships with friends and family.

I believe you will find love.

[SarahZ]

Hi Corella,

Thanks for reaching out.

Echoing the same sentiments as the others, trust me you are worthy being loved and receiving love. Ghosting reflects the inadequate behaviours of others - nothing about you.

Although much easier said than done, don’t let someone else’s poor behaviour rob you from your energy! Focus your energy on other things that make you happiest. Finding love can be a long process, so don’t feel disheartened by this experience.

Sending you positive thoughts!

[Corella]

Thanks for the great advice.
Its energy depleting. Up and down. I think hes not interested, then i doubt my thoughts. I think i should just ask him outright if he wants a relationship - then i think i shouldnt. Im terrified of going back to the drawing board

Its time wasted, getting to know someone, im not getting younger.

[Tay100]

Hi Corella,

Thanks for touching base- how have you been going- has any of the advice resonated with you? We are always happy to discuss more tips so let us know and we can brainstorm more strategies.

I think being direct with him may be a good idea- then you'll know where you stand and neither of your time will be wasted. Do it gently, we'll be here to listen and hear how things progress.

Sending kindness,

Tay100