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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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bonboneyo Struggling to cope with finding out that my ex parterners boyfriend is living with her and my 4 year old son in our family home
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone and thanks for taking time reading this. My 10 year relationship with my partner ended 2 years ago and i was asked to leave the family home. We have a 4 year old boy together and at the time and since i have agreed to her every wish, alwa... View more

Hi Everyone and thanks for taking time reading this. My 10 year relationship with my partner ended 2 years ago and i was asked to leave the family home. We have a 4 year old boy together and at the time and since i have agreed to her every wish, always been there for her to help out and been an active dad for my son. I had been holding out, hoping to get her back but now i have found out that she has been seeing someone else. and i found out from my 4 year old who had been trying to let me know for some time. I have since had some very emotional conversations with her and she revealed that she started seeing this person from a tinder hook up soon after she told me to leave and that he has also been living with my ex and my son in our family home for almost a year. This has really broken me and my life has since been destroyed. Ive lost my job, my self worth and most days are filled with tears, feeling really lost and really low. I know i cant change what my partner does in her life but i feel i have been replaced. this guy feels like imposter as he's living in what is still part my house and hes been interacting with my son for over a year and i had no idea hes been there. I still love and care deeply for my ex and that really tares my apart. I really need help and guidance

79yxcc8 Am i Obsessed with him this way?
  • replies: 5

I found this advertisement for a hacker and i was able to gain remote access to his phone after because i just have the urge to since he had once cheated on me in time past and i cant seem to forget. i just want to know everyone hes with and communic... View more

I found this advertisement for a hacker and i was able to gain remote access to his phone after because i just have the urge to since he had once cheated on me in time past and i cant seem to forget. i just want to know everyone hes with and communicates to. Be my guide am i too obsessed?

Buggywug Buggywug
  • replies: 4

How does anyone deal with a family member who's obviously disturbed but refuses to discuss anything about her feelings with you? My sister, from a very young age was always extremely selfish, arrogant and haughty with other children, and an expert at... View more

How does anyone deal with a family member who's obviously disturbed but refuses to discuss anything about her feelings with you? My sister, from a very young age was always extremely selfish, arrogant and haughty with other children, and an expert at throwing tantrums to get her own way. She's still the same, at 60. Her rages are legendary, and she's at her rudest with those who've done the most to help her. I begged her to talk to me about what troubles her, but she accused me of trying to gather information to use against her. Her relationships are intense and always with men who drink heavily. When I asked her what the attraction to violent drunkards is, especially as they always end in drama and hysterics, and herself screaming at us to rescue her, she tore me apart. Worst of all are the lies. For instance, I saw her on a computer at our local library, spoke briefly, and went to visit our Mum, who was frantically packing bags and told me to get her a taxi. Sis had just rung to inform Mum that she was in the infectious diseases hospital and wanted Mum to visit her.. I nearly fell over, and told Mum that Sis was NOT in any hospital, but the library! Why on earth would anyone do that to their mother?? She tells terrible lies about people behind their backs, ( family included) and does so very believably. I warned her that she'd end up without a friend in the world if she kept that up, but her response was a screaming tirade. She lies to play off people against one another, and has been responsible for many a neighbour and family feud, She's had countless different addresses and rarely stays long anywhere, usually due to neighbours calling the police on her when she's abusing and threatening them. She can turn on the charm like a tap when it suits her, is very attractive and witty, but it never lasts. Everyone in her orbit eventually finds themselves in the firing line and leaves. Having her in the house is like sitting on a powder keg not knowing if, when or why the fuse will be lit. She literally exhausts everyone. Even at funerals, the focus has to be on herself,usually describing all the ghastly diseases she suffers from ( which she reads up in medical books but has never had.) She's a vegan, with loads of compassion for animals, but none whatsoever for people. If anyone can suggest what drives her, I'd be very grateful!

Siancorn Seperation - unable to cope
  • replies: 16

Hi All, My husband and I are separating after 18 years of marriage. This is not something I want, but I don't have a choice as he is cemented in his decision. I had an emotional affair about seven months ago and we have not been able to work through ... View more

Hi All, My husband and I are separating after 18 years of marriage. This is not something I want, but I don't have a choice as he is cemented in his decision. I had an emotional affair about seven months ago and we have not been able to work through it as he has been unable to forgive me. At this stage we are in the same house and have agreed to treat each other with kindness, gentleness and affection as we "both still care deeply about each other" and our son has asked us to work together to be emotionally stable before any big decisions are made. I am struggling to cope with our situation as we are still cuddling and have been intimate. I constantly feel anxious and on the verge of tears. I can't seem to shake these feelings..I need help..please?.

Alone4me Separating from lying, cheating, cross-dressing Husband - upset and confused
  • replies: 4

I'm very new to reaching out - here goes... My husband and I are currently separating (living under the same roof - until he house sells). There have been warning signs which I have put down to his health issues (diabetes) for that last 15 years of o... View more

I'm very new to reaching out - here goes... My husband and I are currently separating (living under the same roof - until he house sells). There have been warning signs which I have put down to his health issues (diabetes) for that last 15 years of our 30 yr marriage (he has not been interested in 'special cuddles'), has been secretive about Tax returns, deletes all phone txts, messages, recent call lists etc. Recently also discovered he has been siphoning money from his pay each fortnight (we have joint accounts where our pay goes), has accumulated significant debt (on credit cards I didn't know existed), has been having 'emotional affairs' with people at work and online, lies about having to go to work on the weekend (I went there and he wasn't there), plus found photos on his phone of him dressed in my clothes with a wig and makeup. He has also been secretly drinking alcohol and seems to be in a constant state of drunkeness ( which I stupidly though it was the diabetes and eating the wrong foods making his blood sugars sky-rocket). He has been very argumentative and aggressive. So now we are separating and while I know there is no other way out of this (I have suggested counselling but he has refused on multiple occasions - just promised things would get better).. I am so struggling and am very emotional (close to tears all the time). He, however, doesnt seem upset at all and is telling everyone he is very happy - is on multiple dating sites etc., I am struggling with the fact that I think he never really did have feelings for me as he has moved on immediately. The future no longer looks like I thought it would be with the person that I loved (not sure he actually is who I thought he was). After 30 years and looking forward to retirement - my world now is upside down. How to put this all into perspective and 'keep going' every day? The last 15 years haven't been great and I wasnt sure how I could keep going inside the marriage - and now I am wondering how to continue outside the marriage...

LUCIDFOX_X Moving to a new state?
  • replies: 1

Hey guys, have a quick read of a couple of my other threads to get a bit of background info. I've got something I'm struggling with at the moment. I'm living with my partner, have been since March 2019, and I just don't know how I'm feeling about it ... View more

Hey guys, have a quick read of a couple of my other threads to get a bit of background info. I've got something I'm struggling with at the moment. I'm living with my partner, have been since March 2019, and I just don't know how I'm feeling about it anymore. I really don't think I'm ready to settle down like this, it's kind of freaking me out. I'm only 22 and I want to date more and you know.. live my youth a bit more? But at the same time I think, should I do that? Do I want that? Dating could be crap but I just don't know if this person is 'the one'. My parents are moving away. I currently live in Sydney and so do they, but I've got a lot of history here with some pretty bad bullying and it went pretty viral. I'm concerned that if I break up with him that I'll lose a lot of my friends and I just don't want to deal with that either so I'm just unsure of what to do here. A part of me wants to go with my parents to Hobart (?) Because I don't think I'm ready to be away from them either. But I'm also worried about the career opportunity and salaries in Hobart as Sydney has way more opportunity and higher paying jobs. I work in operations and the median that I'd get paid is 46k + super. So break up and move? Break up and stay? Don't break up and stay? I just don't know. Some advice.. please! I'm desperate. And really just panicking.

Natalia123 Support
  • replies: 1

Hi All, In the last couple of years I have been at my Lowest of lows and I have experienced so many life stressors in a short amount of time. I use to be a bubbly care free young woman, and now I am a adult. During my time as an adult so much has hap... View more

Hi All, In the last couple of years I have been at my Lowest of lows and I have experienced so many life stressors in a short amount of time. I use to be a bubbly care free young woman, and now I am a adult. During my time as an adult so much has happened that my health has taking a dive. I have gained weight and lost my identity. There are people around but there is no real support for me I believe. I want emotional support I want people to truely understand the pain the past has brought me, the way I see it they carry on with their own lives.

SimpsonsLover Concerns about my relationship. Not sure if I should stay or go.
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone, I have been with my BF for over 4 years now & we have lived together for around 2 years. I'm currently at a point where I'm not sure if I'm 100% on this relationship anymore. We haven't had the easiest run - he's had several up and down... View more

Hey everyone, I have been with my BF for over 4 years now & we have lived together for around 2 years. I'm currently at a point where I'm not sure if I'm 100% on this relationship anymore. We haven't had the easiest run - he's had several up and down moments with his family and theres been two separate years now where they havent spoken for a period of over 12 months. They have been very horrible to me in the past as well, so honestly, I would rather not have anything to do with them (which is easier since they live overseas). Even though his parents have apologised to me, his mum and sister just trigger my anxiety... even the sound of their voice makes me uncomfortable. My BF only just recently started talking to them again, and I hate it. They didnt speak for over a year, but now within a few weeks of talking to them, he already wants to upheave all our plans for next year to fly across the world for a one month holiday. I'm about to sit my final exam of my intern year and once that's done, i'll be fully qualified in my field. My job has a lot of responsibility - I'm a senior member of staff so for me to take off for a month is not possible... however he just doesnt seem to want to understand this. I suggested 2 weeks which apparently isnt good enough. My BF has a lot of good qualities, but recently I see more of the bad. He's lazy, condascending, unsympathetic, short tempered, ungrateful and to some extent, self centred. I find it hard to talk to him about anything, especially anything to do with my feelings. Overall, i just find myself getting fed up with my BF. I do love him and our great moments are great. He can be very supportive and everything I want, but I find that decreasing. Our goals and views seem to be increasingly different and currently, I feel like I'm more in this relationship because its become routine. I dont have any friends so obviously another thought on my mind is that if I leave him, I dont have anyone in my life thats my age. My family is very supportive of me, and I know at the end of the day I'll always have them, but its hard to imagine not having anyone else. The other thing keeping me in this relationship is that we're currently on a defacto visa and that was the only way he could stay here (he didnt want to use our relationship, he wanted to use his qualifications but it wasnt possible) so if I break up with him, he will be sent back home which conflicts me as hes worked hard to stay here and I dont think thats fair.

moocow_1 Partner has anxiety and depression and keeps thinking I'm cheating: I'm not!
  • replies: 10

This is my first time posting. My partner of 6 years has anxiety and depression. It hasn't occurred in our relationship to such a full on extent as it has in the past 12 months. He blames me solely for it. He tends to over think everything and read i... View more

This is my first time posting. My partner of 6 years has anxiety and depression. It hasn't occurred in our relationship to such a full on extent as it has in the past 12 months. He blames me solely for it. He tends to over think everything and read into things that are not there. In February he invited a mutual friend over (who is the partner of one of our friends) and accused me of cheating with him. The friend denied it because it is not true. We have never done anything at all. I have never done anything with anyone since being with my partner. My partner is convinced that he noticed "patterns" showing up on social media and believes that me and the accused friend were chatting on line and that we would both get on and off social media within seconds of each other no matter what time of the day or night. I can't explain these "patterns" but what I do know for certain is that nothing has ever happened between us. Our friendship is totally ruined with this couple over this. I am mortified. I have deleted all my social media for my partner to help ease his anxiety. Just last weekend he now believes I am "up to something" again. We went to a child's birthday party and I went outside the venue to stand in the sun as it was freezing inside, I stood at the side left tyre of my partners car and had the sun shining on my face, I stood there for about 10 minutes, My partner is adamant that he came and looked for me 3 times and I wasn't where I said I was. He believes I am lying to him. He said he can't prove anything but that he's "not a fool". I am trying so hard to be understanding as I was the first time he accused me. I am walking on egg shells all the time and feel like I am being interrogated every time I say anything. I don't know what to do? How to respond to him? Whether to defend myself or simply let him believe what he believes? He believes he's never wrong. I am mentally exhausted. I have lost weight from all this before and am not a big woman to start off. I feel that this is so unfair and that he is using me as his personal emotional punching bag and that it's my fault because I allowed him to do this to me. He makes me feel guilty all the time and I've done nothing wrong. I need advice please.

AmieD Single and pregnant
  • replies: 1

I’m 17 weeks pregnant and having a hard time with dealing with been pregnant and alone . And been constantly feeling isolated and ignored by the father .

I’m 17 weeks pregnant and having a hard time with dealing with been pregnant and alone . And been constantly feeling isolated and ignored by the father .