AVO against controlling ex-partner

[RosyRose]

Hi everyone,

I'm reaching out to see if anyone has had a similar experience or can offer any advice. I've recently taken out an AVO against my ex-partner who started stalking me after our breakup. In our relationship he was very controlling, with him being verbally, psychologically and on one account physical abusive. Despite showing no interest in me during our relationship, he fought aggressively to get me back whenever I tried to end things. He would get new phone numbers to harass me after I blocked him and even showed up at my door unannounced.

Within just five months, I found myself back with him due to his relentless harassment. When I finally broke it off for good, he made it extremely difficult to get rid of him. He followed me to dance events and repeatedly initiated contact despite my clear instructions not to. I often threatened to call the police to get him to back off.

During the relationship there was also an issue of him intentionally getting me pregnant. I never wanted anything but an abortion.  He refused to use protection, which was always a significant point of contention for me and made me very angry.

Some weeks after I blocked him and broke off for good, he sent me an email outlining a detailed plan to get engaged, married, have kids, and buy property together—all within six months. This email came even after I had warned him about calling the police if he didn't stop contacting me. A couple of weeks later, he followed me to another dance event, which was the final straw. His behaviour was incredibly creepy, and I went to the police to get an AVO.

He didn't show up at the court hearing and seems to be ignoring the AVO altogether. Now, I'm scared because I know he is very narcissistic and won't take this restriction lightly. I'm worried about potential repercussions since he cannot "lose" or be limited in his movements without reacting. I'm considering removing the AVO, but the police informed me that it can't be revoked through them and would need to go through the court, which could take up to 18 months.

Has anyone been through something similar? Do you have any advice on how to handle this situation?

[Sophie_M]

Hey RosyRose,

Welcome to the Forums - We are glad that you have found us here in the midst of a really challenging time.We are so sorry to hear about what you have been through. Abuse from a partner is never okay, and it was an incredibly brave thing to do to put all the steps into place that you have. It is clear just how much time and effort you have put in to keeping yourself safe.

We are sure the community will spot your post and offer their words of support and wisdom soon. In the meantime, here are some supports that might be helpful: 1800RESPECT is a national family violence and sexual assault counselling service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s confidential and free to call. You can speak to one of their counsellors on 1800 737 732 or go to the 1800RESPECT website.

Here is an excellent list of resources available across each state and territory in Austraila for people experiencing family, domestic and sexual violence: https://www.dss.gov.au/ending-violence/help-and-support

If you are ever concerned about your immediate welfare, please do not hesitate to call 000. Your safety is a priority.

Once again we are so glad that you found us here. We hope this can be a supportive space for you. Feel free to let us know of any updates along the way. We are here for you.
 
Kind regards
Sophie M

[Guest_38550563]

Hi there, 

yea I had bit of similar situation with me ex-patrner multiple times. As I had mental health issues previously I was so distress isolated my family abandoned me. I got him and took Advantage of me! I got pregnant then he started manipulated me and keep convincing me to get abortion. I recently had abortion. As soon as I had abortion he started picking fights with me. And physically abused me and left. As I was emotionally struggling already I still can’t understand what actually happened to me! 
I was cooking, cleaning, washing and even was feeding him out of love because I had no one no friends nothing. What he was doing using me physically, even I was keeping saying I don’t want any physical intamacy. Whenever I say that he had to had it! By over powering me felt disgusting ever single time he did that. Was is vulnerable to asked him to left. 
I don’t even know how to put all my emotions trauma in words! Feeling grief, lost, used, disgusted in myself as he called me hurtful words. That word just stuck on my mind! I’m 32 I had divorced previously never been in relationship took me 5 years to recovered now this happened. 
Can’t write more my emotions are out of control.