Alcoholic spouse

[Emma82]

I’m hoping someone here has some advice to guide me through a really hard situation.

My husband and I separated two years ago because he was emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. After 12 months apart I agreed to give our relationship another go as we had a then 2 year old. In the last 2 months the drinking and emotional abuse has started again. He continues to drink drive with my son in the car. He finishes work earlier than me so picks him up from childcare. I am able to get him and begged him to stop but he continues anyway. I have called the police and they have said unless he’s caught in the act there’s nothing they can do. I know my son and I need to leave but with the housing crisis and not having any family in the state, we have no where to go. I have spoken to his family about this but they don’t seem to be as concerned as they should. I’ve begged him to leave but he won’t. How can I stop him from drink driving with my son? TIA

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

You cant stop him. Even if you separated, he will have access to him and drink drive anyway. I'm feeling so sad for you and there is limited things you can do. But he will eventually get caught. If you are still with him, you'll be doing all the driving!!

My last Gf of 11 years was a closet alcoholic, Only the last 3 years did I find out. 6 months before we parted she got drunk and was about to hit my 13yo daughter when I intervened. Police attended and they asked where the alcohol was- told them its in the fridge a full cask. That cask was near empty and I'd purchased it the day before. Police told me "you have a big problem on your hands.

I can say that protecting your son better if you seek counselling and keep all dòcuments for your future protection if called upon to prove your efforts in court.. Thats my view with your son as your top priority, seek professional help.

TonyWK

[Sophie_M]

Hi Emma82,  

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing this here. We can hear it’s an incredibly painful and worrying time for you and your son. Well done for having the bravery to share this with the community during such a difficult time. The lovely people here will have kind words, advice and understanding for you.  

We’d recommend having a chat with the Family Relationship Advice Line on 1800 050 321. They offer free advice to families going through separation. There’s also Parentline (who have a number for each state listed here) – both of these organisations offer advice, support, and you can talk it through with them. Kids Helpline have some advice for supporting your kids through a separation here. We know your past experiences involving the police may not have been ideal but please know that if you or your son ever feel at risk of harm, the number is 000.

We can hear that you do not have any family in the state you're living in and it sounds like an isolating time. We hope that you are able to talk to someone about this such as family or friends as we can imagine how hard it must be to be supporting your child through this while going through an immensely painful experience yourself. It’s really important to reach out and find some support to help you get through this. We’d love for you to give our counsellors a ring on 1300 22 4636, or chat to them online here.    
 
Thank you again for your courage and strength in sharing your story here. We hope you can be as kind to yourself as you have been in sharing here, as it’s really important to look after yourself and reach out when you need to talk it through. Our counsellors are here for you, anytime you’d like to chat. 
 
Kind regards, 
 
Sophie M 

[Emma82]

Thanks Tony. Appreciate you sharing. It’s the absolute worst feeling being around an addict. Not being able to trust and feel safe with the  people you share a home and family with. I’ve made an appointment with a solicitor for early January.

[Emma82]

Thanks Sophie. I’ll definitely considering calling for support. I appreciate your empathy & understanding. 

[Faith2010]

Alanon🙏✌