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Alcoholic partner

Lmf
Community Member

Im 23, 30yo long term partner of 5/6yrs, we have a 2yo together.

Over the years IV notice his alcoholic tendencies have worsen. Everyday now. I have spoke multiple times about it, we have communication issues because his always drunk, not drunk enough(for himself so is shitty) or asleep/hungover. When we do eventually get to talk it's not understood at the time because being effected by alcohol or hanging for a drink so can't concentrate, I think. Then i end up bottling everything up & exploding looking like the bad person because apparently there is nothing for me to worried/angry about. 1. I am of indigenous decent & have seen what alcohol does to people . 2. I'm trying to stop this cycle for the next gen. 3. I didn't grow up in an alcoholic household (but partner did) so why should our son? 4. Its starting to take a toll on other areas in our relationship. 5. My son is starting to catch onto him being drunk, smelling of alcohol, always sleeping (weekends, since he works full time). Yes this sounds petty & he hasn't always been like this .. it just happened over time. I had a real tough pregnacy physically/mentally, not having any support etc feel into a really deep depression, I started drinking, nearly everyday, not getting legless but getting abit more then tipsy but not drunk/blotto. This year IV stopped, I was never a drinker (had my first drink at 18) the time I was drinking I realised he'd influence me & when stuff did get abit crazy it would some how always be placed on me? He had to .. it's hard to explain.. in a way someone to use as the blame of the bad situation that was started because of miss communication fuelled by alcohol. So I stopped thinking it was me, I couldn't handle my alcohol etc over the last near year IV realised he would pick at me regardless of me drinking or not, conversations would be hard because his talking over me/cutting in, speaking from a drunk mind, or completely diss what my opinion was or whatever. The typical drunk convo when your sober talking to a drunk person.. yes not everything is bad but this is where the alcoholism comes in. They're is times we'd have amazing convos plan stuff etc but never happenes because his either hungover the next day/forgets what has been said or follows thru with family plans or whatever it may be but is drunk or atleast has to have one drink. Yes his a hard worker, supports us amazing financialy but every single night does the nights have to end in disagreement, dissatisfaction

3 Replies 3

Lmf
Community Member
Or to the point where his falling over, needing a bucket by the bed, I'm up all night watching incase he spews in his sleep. We have a neighbour his an alcoholic to, lost everything house & family etc I try to use him as an example but it's like it's not getting through his always over there drinking, what annoys me is that he gets home from work & goes straight next door, on a good day stays for about 30mins & then goes. Drinks. Yes comes back over to check on us but his always drunk, I feel my son & I deserve more then 30mins of sober a day.. yes it's his problem that he needs to address but won't. I try to talk & ask, he does admit he needs to but doesn't follow thru with getting help for his alcoholic ways. I'm not always on his back about it, I'm just sick of it. I'm more worried about my son growing up thinking it's normal to get legless everyday because you work hard & deserve a drink. It's at the point it's stopping everything else from functioning.

Lmf
Community Member
Plus I'm suffering from my own bs that I have been all my life which is okay. I'm trying to set an example of just because you have troubles etc doesn't mean alcohol is the way. I don't no I feel confused should I be worried should I even care? Is this even a problem, guilty for when I do go off because I do feel I am controlling his life but I'm pretty sure what his doing isn't good, lost, thinking should I leave or should I stay & try help? He says I won't be able to get anyone else blah blah blah, then other times he says I'm too good for him & I need to move on with a new life I deserve.. kinda driving me crazy now..

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Lmf, I'm sorry that you haven't had a reply but the situation you are in isn't good for yourself nor for your son who is beginning to believe what his dad is doing seems to be OK.

Alcohol is fine if and only if it can be controlled, I've learnt the hard way because I used when in depression, but it caused our divorce and the house had to be sold, my mistake, but now only drink socially and still talk to my ex.

There is also the Aboriginal Community Controlled Health Organisation which has been advertising in the local paper.

It's not the best environment for the two of you, your son and yourself to be around, it's causing problems for both of you and can I firstly suggest Al-Anon (1300 252 666) who are in every State, plus there is Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 and Anglicare in your State.

Could you tell us what the latest news is so we help you.