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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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justintime Confused about wanting friends but not wanting them
  • replies: 13

Hi, I'm new to Beyond Blue & wanted to start my own thread in the hope that I can get some support. Lately I've been feeling a bit down, I'm getting some professional help but feel that what I also need is to chat to others who may be going through s... View more

Hi, I'm new to Beyond Blue & wanted to start my own thread in the hope that I can get some support. Lately I've been feeling a bit down, I'm getting some professional help but feel that what I also need is to chat to others who may be going through something similar so that I don't feel so alone. What I find hard is friendships & I don't quite know why. I easily meet people, make lots of acquaintances & get offers to meet up & go out. I also have no problem (as in fear or lack confidence) to ask other potential friends out but what's a bit confusing is that when I get invited out I don't want to go & for the life of me I don't understand why. I want friendships, I need them & I'm terribly lonely at times so I just don't get why I don't take up these invitations. Yesterday I was asked to go for coffee with a new potential male friend & today I was invited to dinner on the weekend from a female longer term friend. Both people are still waiting for my reply & I'm avoiding answering because I don't want to go. Is this what depressions does? Is it the lack of motivation part of depression that does this? Has anyone else ever felt this way & developed some understanding about why this happens? For the life of me I don't get it. I want & need friendships yet don't make it happen when the opportunity arrives.

25yearsshattered Lost & confused after 26 years together
  • replies: 5

After 26 years together my husband has walked out. He says he loves me but not in love with me. This has just ripped the rug out from under me as I love him very much. He's being influenced by anotger woman who he says he has no physical attraction t... View more

After 26 years together my husband has walked out. He says he loves me but not in love with me. This has just ripped the rug out from under me as I love him very much. He's being influenced by anotger woman who he says he has no physical attraction to, but she's trying everything to get him in her bed & is very manipulative. To make things even harder is she works for the local womens crisis centre so as I have no family here I feel I have where I can turn for support. He suffers clinical depression and has had a down turn since his fathers passing, yet apart from talking to her & being turned inside out, he refuses to get professional help. I just feel lost & heartbroken.

Romy No friends
  • replies: 2

I'm 20 years old, in my second year of uni. I feel like I have lots of acquaintances, I can always talk to people at uni easily. However I feel like I don't really have anyone I would actually hang out with outside of uni or work. I don't have a grou... View more

I'm 20 years old, in my second year of uni. I feel like I have lots of acquaintances, I can always talk to people at uni easily. However I feel like I don't really have anyone I would actually hang out with outside of uni or work. I don't have a group of people I can go out and party with, I only have about 3 seperate friends I could think of, and even then I don't hang out with them often and it feels so hard to organise things when people have different schedules. I just want to know if this is normal. I feel like a loser and I don't want to be the girl who only hangs out with her boyfriend. I want some gal pals!

Ms_Weeza Heart crushing moment.
  • replies: 3

HEART CRUSHING MOMENT You've been really supportive to your mate, through everything, so you send them a love song "truly, madly deeply" by savage garden. Real soul tapping love stuff. They play it, as they are next to you and....nothing. Then they g... View more

HEART CRUSHING MOMENT You've been really supportive to your mate, through everything, so you send them a love song "truly, madly deeply" by savage garden. Real soul tapping love stuff. They play it, as they are next to you and....nothing. Then they go off to play a game with their bestie and have fun. I burst into tears. The more I try to connect it seems the further away we get. He wants so badly to have all this magical spiritual work happen and yet puts a wall up between us. My opinions are bounced in his tone of voice. I often feel smaller and smaller. My inner child shrinking when it wants to expand and grow with him. How does a person explain that a lot of what he seeks is right in front of him?? I'd be scoffed at. No, that's not it. That's not my life's purpose....and yet, he doesn't know what to do or feel. He just knows that outside influences are at work, pushing him down and stopping him from doing his spiritual work. Maybe he's just not listening? Slow down. Relax. The answers you seek are closer then you realise. I'm not that strong anymore. I don't know if I can survive this quest. Interstellar higher mantra crap. Next life, I'll tend to a garden. A small peaceful garden. Solitary. Maybe some animals. And butterflies. And fireflies. That way I can enjoy day and night Just keep your twin flaming souls away from me. Standard love and families are bad enough. Even friends suck. Humans suck. Higher beings Pffft give me a break. You're all full of it. Honestly. I'm hurting so much and yet I still can't leave. Thanks. Thanks for the umpteenth experience.

ImplodedSoul Unappreciated impacts
  • replies: 6

She came home from a trip, and the next night told me she hadn't loved me for 2 years and was leaving that night. The kids are to stay with me. 3 days later she had a boyfriend. I week later she had our young children at his house. I said I did not w... View more

She came home from a trip, and the next night told me she hadn't loved me for 2 years and was leaving that night. The kids are to stay with me. 3 days later she had a boyfriend. I week later she had our young children at his house. I said I did not want them near him for the moment. We have been trying to communicate but she is resistant, although sends very mixed messages. We agreed that the kids could see him for short periods (15-20 minutes, no family outings, he's not to stay the night) every now and then. Last night he was with them for 4+ hours. I broke, in my mind she has lied about the agreement after acknowledging it that day and I wanted my girls safe so I went there to get them. A dumb move but she is ignoring my feelings all together, even when I've been trying to be there if she needs support. I needed to tell her that. She didn't understand. The kids ended up staying. I love her, I want her back. Even though I've likely destroyed any chance. This is but a part of the story, but it's eating at me. Why couldn't she just wait a little to introduce him. Saying good night to our kids, they could only talk about playing with him. She was meant to be spending time with them! Lost and broken now. No one to talk to, nowhere to go. She and the kids are my life.

Ardenrose Someone hear me..
  • replies: 10

Hello everyone, It would mean a lot to get a response but I'm writing to get all these feelings off my chest... What is worse than feeling worthless and not loved at all? My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years now and have been through a lot... View more

Hello everyone, It would mean a lot to get a response but I'm writing to get all these feelings off my chest... What is worse than feeling worthless and not loved at all? My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years now and have been through a lot but it saddens me how I still feel unrecognized and not worth it at all. Sometimes, I dont know anymore who to hate. Is it me, for being so sensitive and emotional? That I give way too much for him? Is it me that I always want him around. That the thought of losing him scares me.. It hurts me so much that I cannot be honest with him at all without being judge or him attacking me with his own words. So I try, I try to live with those "short-happy moments" because thats when I'm happy. And I would rather that than him getting angry at me and leaving me. I do know he loves me, but only in certain levels. Only when i'm okay. When its easy to love me. when its convinient for him.. Yet, I still choose to stay because I am hoping, hoping he would one day see how Ive been there through it all. That i never left. My anxiety is getting worse.. My depression is slowly coming back. Im not sure how long I can hold it all together and convince myself that it is going to be okay.. soon.. My heart is crying. I want to rest for months. I want to sleep for months maybe he would then miss me and see my worth. Im extremely tired.

Ms_Weeza Enjoy your life and loved ones.
  • replies: 4

Enjoy your life and loved ones. ❣ Some people don't appreciate what they have until it's gone or their life is altered in some way. Apart from my own life alterations and voids, I am reminded everyday how precious people are in our lives. Some more t... View more

Enjoy your life and loved ones. ❣ Some people don't appreciate what they have until it's gone or their life is altered in some way. Apart from my own life alterations and voids, I am reminded everyday how precious people are in our lives. Some more then others because some people treat family and friends like objects. Throw away objects. Sometimes the only protection from hurt we have is to walk away from those toxic people. But when I see posts of loved ones dying, in pain or dealing with their own voids from the past it makes me think, what the hell is wrong with these insensitive, materialistic jerks? We can't always repair the rifts in our families or friendships, but those that are aware of how precious life is....hold those loved ones close to you. Time is limited. For some more then others. My heart sympathises with those that have lost loved ones permanently. And for those that have tossed others aside like trash I would love to smack upside your head, but it won't do any good. You won't know until your heart is ripped from you how it feels. I shed tears everyday for my voids. I shed tears for others. But for those insensitive materialistic toxic jerks, I do not. Everyday that you allow that void open because of your pride, shows how small and petty you are. After this rant, I shall release your negative vibes to the universe, may you never hurt anyone I care about ever again and one day, may your actions haunt you in your sleep. Everyone else, hold your precious love in your heart and share with those deserving. Keep your loved ones close and your circle in trust, hope and faith. May the future be better for those deserving or in need. Love, light and pixie dust sprinkled on your rainbows. Celebrate love and laughter. Make everyday count. ❣

Solique Supporting a Loved One with Addiction
  • replies: 1

I don’t know where to begin — the beginning would be appropriate, but I only have 2,500 words (less than now) to tell my story; to tell my story from the very beginning would be next to impossible, so I’ll tell my story the best I can. July 22, 2017 ... View more

I don’t know where to begin — the beginning would be appropriate, but I only have 2,500 words (less than now) to tell my story; to tell my story from the very beginning would be next to impossible, so I’ll tell my story the best I can. July 22, 2017 my life changed. My partner was assaulted. He suffered a brain haemorrhage and a seizure while in hospital for 7 days. A week or two after he was discharged from hospital, his father died unexpectedly. While overcoming his trauma from the assault, he now had to overcome grief, trauma, depression and anxiety due to the death of his father. On Christmas Eve of last year, my partner had a self-induced medical emergency. He was unresponsive but thankfully he pulled through. But his mental health has worsened since. (His GP and Psychiatric team have restricted medication from him due to this) He does see a Psychologist and his local GP every week to every two weeks—he has good support from his mum, as well as myself. Due to his mental illnesses, he has engaged in a lot of self-destructive behaviours such as gambling, abusing prescription medication (as mentioned earlier, he is not allowed to be prescribed them so he buys them “from the street”) and he cheated on me too. Prior to the 22nd of July my partner would not engage in any of these behaviours. He was loyal to me and to himself. He was intelligent, caring and loving. He’s not who he is now. Basically, I don’t know what to do anymore. We did separate for a week once, where I stayed at my parents, but we worked on our relationship. Last night, I found out he was still trying to buy drugs and I was so angry, I had to walk away and this time I thought it was the end. We discussed it again today and he said he wants to get help and he admits his addiction to prescription medication. And he wants me to support him too. How can I support him when I find it hard to trust him? I want to be there for him, and I will, but I need advice on what to do next. How to help someone with an addiction and how to teach myself into thinking that he’s not doing it to hurt me—he’s doing it because he is in pain. I should add, I do also see a Psychologist and will be seeing a Psychiatrist for an assessment for potentially having Borderline Personality Disorder. Any advice and support port would be appreciated—I’d even love to read stories of similiar situations.

Richmond101 Confused in a new relationship
  • replies: 3

I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 6 weeks now and have been seeing her for around 3 months but i dont have strong feelings towards her. We are both 20. She makes me happy when im with her and i love spending time with her but i jus... View more

I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 6 weeks now and have been seeing her for around 3 months but i dont have strong feelings towards her. We are both 20. She makes me happy when im with her and i love spending time with her but i just dont have the strong feelings like i have experienced in past relationships. Do these feelings take time to develop? because in the past they have developed quickly but obviously those relationships didnt work out. my last relationship wasn't a long one but i did get screwed over a few times but that was nearly 2 years ago now. I dont find her attractive all the time and when i first met her i didn't find her overly attractive. I found her to rather just be a genuine good person with heaps of qualities that i like. we get along really well and we make each other happy. I just dont have that spark that i have felt in the past when you just have that chemistry. Im worried that if i dont have that then the relationship wont work out. I feel comfortable around her though and that i can be myself. I have had allot of ocd the past year and am trying to recover from some very bad periods and still experience high amounts of anxiety so im not sure if that has an effect. I get days where im doubting everything and just feel guilty because i feel like ill just hurt her because i know her feelings are stronger then mine. But i dont just want to quit on her because we get along so well and i like what we have. she is important to me and makes my life better i feel. I have communicated to her that i get these doubts and my feels arnt super strong. I Just dont want to hurt her. Please help!!

Deemar Depressed husband
  • replies: 2

My husband lost his sister to cancer 6 months. One prior to his sister passing, I miscarried at 6 weeks. We've always had ups and downs. My husband has always suffered depression before our 2 years of marriage and 7 year relationship. He had self est... View more

My husband lost his sister to cancer 6 months. One prior to his sister passing, I miscarried at 6 weeks. We've always had ups and downs. My husband has always suffered depression before our 2 years of marriage and 7 year relationship. He had self esteem issues and hard on himself. We met at work and he is my first relationship. I too suffer from anxiety and it was hard for me to meet people. I found comfort with him as he is a really nice person and I thought we could move past his depression and my anxiety and make our relationship work. I had to work hard in our marriage and took on the responsibilities of setting up our finances and admin, our home and routine. I wasn't close to his immediate family and often felt they didn't approve of me. I also felt his parents enabled his lack of responsibility and being on top of things as they babied him too much. I felt I had to train him to be the husband I needed. In the process of doing this my husband said I neglected him and his feelings. I never spoke to him about his depression and when his sister passed he feels I haven't supported him enough. He blames me for everything, tells me I've done nothing to help him, he yells at me and swears at me when I do something to upset me, he throws things in frustration and threatens to leave if I don't change. We are currently separated because I couldn't cope with his abuse and blame. He tells me that each day I'm away the worse it gets. I've tried explaining how his behaviour hurts me but he tells me I keep neglecting his hurt and emphasise only my own. We get no where. I don't know what to do. I feel guilty for leaving him yet it's for me to go back to him constantly blaming me. I've tried explaining this to him but there is no reasoning. He told me the other day he is going to resign from his job. I asked him how he planned on paying the mortgage and he got mad at me as my focus should have been on his depression nor the mortgage. Any advise of what to do would be greatly appreciated. Thank you