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8 weeks pregnant and boyfriend wants me to terminate it but I have huge emotions towards it

Jade12345
Community Member
So I found out I’m pregnant and at first I was sure I was going to get an termination being 21 and the stigma around young parents. However, I have now had an ultrasound and saw the baby and watched it’s heart beating and felt an instant connection. I felt happy seeing it and then so sad after because I now wasn’t sure I wanted to terminate. My boyfriend is not understanding or supporting me through this confusion. We are young and it’s very scary and won’t be easy but I have been independent since I was 16 and I am ready to support it and love it. My boyfriend has called me selfish for not doing what he wants and that I will ruin his life if I keep it and I just don’t know what to do.
10 Replies 10

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Dear Jade12345,

Firstly, welcome to the forums we are so glad that you found your way to this supportive and welcoming community. We hope that you find ideas, options and support from the shared experiences and knowledge of all our members. This is a safe space to share and express your own feelings, struggles and experiences without judgement.

Regards

Sophie M

Petal22
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Jade12345

Wellcome to our forums.

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

Follow your heart you know deep down what you want to do.

Im sorry your boyfriend is behaving the way he is but this is your baby and your body and it’s your decision aswell.

Guest_342
Community Member

Hi Jade,

Would an option be to see a counsellor and maybe see if your boyfriend would be open to going along too, so you can both hear each other in a safe space?

Wishing you all the very best.

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Jade,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums..

I really am so sorry about what your going through...

Jade, sweetheart...it’s your body, your baby...you and only you has the right to decide what you want to do with your body...

Your words... you had an instant connection and you are ready to love and support your unborn child shows how much love you already have for him/her....

I don’t think your selfish at all...you need to follow your heart...and not let anyone else decide what you want to do.... letting your boyfriend decide for you, is so wrong...maybe later on in months or years to come, you may feel regret...It’s a decision dear Jade that you must be 100% sure of...if you do decide to terminate...

Follow your heart and soul, maybe try talking to your boyfriend again and let him know how you feel...

We are all here for you dear Jade, if you feel up to talking some more....

My kindest thoughts, with my care,

Grandy..

Jack_Falco
Community Member
Hi Jade. I hope you are going well. Ultimately it is your body and if you have the passion and desire to raise and love this child in the world, you should go for it! I recently had the opposite experience. My ex had an abortion and I wanted to keep the baby. I miss it every single day. I understand the attachment you feel, from a would-be father's point of view. I hope my response offered some help to you. I wish you well

Cakecake
Community Member
No one ever regrets having their baby, even if it was unplanned, but many regret terminating. I think it’s great to be a young mum, you have so much energy and that’s what you need in abundance. Good luck.

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Jade12345

many people have written supportive replies.

Do you think chatting with your partner calmly and being honest how you too are nervous about the prospect of being parent but also excited. Maybe talk about how you can support each other.

Take care

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Jade, hope you are still checking your post and wondering how you are going, because more care should have been taken by your boyfriend if he didn't want you to fall pregnant.

Although a joint decision may be needed, you have to make the final choice because you will feel it's little feet moving around inside you and need to decide whether or not you want to keep it.

Good luck.

Geoff.

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Jade

Do you have family you could talk to? What about your doctor? You might find counselling will help you, do please ask your local GP.

You need support and help making such a big decision. Raising a child alone is a big responsibility and so is terminating a pregnancy, so please do get some support and advice from qualified people.