Hi FamilyMan, Tony and Emptyhands
What started as a great post, with a lot of valid challenges, has definitely become a fascinating thread. With Tony's experience and wisdom sprinkled throughout, a number of topics have been raised (some which I can really relate to).
The sensitivity factor: It's one thing to be able to recognise ourself as being a highly sensitive person, it's another to acknowledge sensitivity as an ability (that can feel like a curse at times). If sensitivity is an ability to be mastered, there are many levels of mastery. There's the basic ability to sense and then there are higher levels of sensitivity to reach or graduate to. Going from a basic sense to a specific sense of what's going on can be a next level challenge. Gaining a clear sense of someone else's emotions can be another challenge or level. Switching off or being able to turn the sensitivity dial up and down at will, feeling when we want and what we want to feel, can involve yet another level. Being able to manage the very thing we feel through (our nervous system) is another challenge which can involve adopting a lot of new skills, tools and abilities. I must say, I'm far from being a master of sensitivity, yet I'm working on it😁.
Love languages: My daughter led me to become aware of this factor a few years back and I must say it helps explain a lot. There are the general 5 love languages which are 1)Words of affirmation, 2)Quality time, 3)Receiving Gifts, 4)Acts of service and 5)Physical touch. My husband and I speak 2 completely different languages, which has created issues over the years. I can recall asking my daughter out of desperation, while relying on her wisdom, 'Why don't I feel loved by your father?'. She said 'Mum, you're an acts of service person, whereas Dad's a words of affirmation and physical touch person. If he spoke your language you'd feel loved'. You could say you love me while hugging me 'til the cows come home but I wouldn't feel loved. Serve my soul or serve me with things that raise me out of feeling depressed, for example, and I will feel deeply loved. My daughter and her partner have learned to speak each other's language. While he serves her with things that bring her to life (which is one of the things she loves him for), she can't help but hug him lovingly (which is one of the many thing he loves her for). Emptyhands, like my daughter and her partner, you've made your language or one of them clear to your partner. You feel it through receiving gifts. I smile when I say the type of gift has the power to express the depth of love. A simple loving gift is a simple expression of love, a deeply soulful gift is a soulful expression of love. To me, romance is that which speaks to the soul. Btw, it can be perfectly normal for our language or our partner's language to change over time. While my husband's love languages have always been the same, mine has changed. I thrive on serving people and witnessing the difference it makes to them. I love feeling people evolve, while feeling incredible relief and joy for them. The perks of being a feeler/sensitive😊.
