Wondering if anyone gained closure from reporting their abuser or if the investigation process is too re-traumatising to be worth it?

[bee_three]

Hi, this is my first time posting.

I have been seeing a clinical psychologist weekly and sometimes bi-weekly for more than 12 months now to process ongoing sexual assault by my employer who was also one of my doctors. I am an absolute wreck and, while I trust my psychologist I don't trust the reporting process, the police or the objectivity of the professional bodies who need to be advised and so my therapy (and recovery) is at a standstill.

I wish there was a magic wand to erase my memories of the last 5 years because I just want to forget about the whole mess and get my life back. Of course, there's no quick fix and I know I need to talk about what's happened in order to process it and move on. The problem is though that I am too scared to speak about it because I know that once I do, we have to make the necessary reports.

Has anyone found that reporting their abuser helped them recover? Has anyone fully recovered from sexual abuse without making a report?

I just want to feel better but I am so scared that going through the reporting process is going to make things worse.

Thank you so much for reading.

[Idkme]

Hi bee three and welcome,

i cant offer an experienced response but I’m here to tell you you can work through this.... you just have to work through the process of building your core beliefs back together.

My biggest concern would be if your abuser did it to you he’s likely to try with someone else, wouldn’t it feel better to know you’ve given them a bit of a warning? Just a thought.

Also, I think the fact that you are afraid of it coming out means you haven’t fully accepted that this was his fault, not yours, and that you have ever right to live a strong, healthy, brave life without the worry that comes connected with being a survivor.... so you do whatever gives you strength, but don’t sit back and wait for strength to find you,

i hope you find some way of facing your trauma,

be kind to yourself,

regards.

[Croix]

Dear bee three~

I'm sorry for waht has happened to you , such a betrayal of trust is truly devastating and can leave effects in you for an awful long time.

I'm not going to advise you either way. What I am going to suggest is you find out exactly what is likely to be involved medically and in your state or territory. This normally means talking informally with a specialist area of the police or a body like Reachout.

It really helps to know what you are dealing with. In some cases after you report a matter to the police you can ask them later to take no action, however if the perpetrator is dangerous they may decide to investigate anyway.

It also helps to know your doctor's opinion of the likely effect on you. I suffer PTSD for completely different reasons and have found trying to resurrect the circumstances can be very hard indeed. Adding to the trauma can be a real risk for some.

While it is a motivating factor to bring a perpetrator to justice and maybe prevent similar behavior happening again nothing is cut and dried. Reporting does not automatically mean a conviction.

Bear in mind that being repeatedly asked about your experience takes a degree of self-reliance and determination, and you have to be ready for that . It can also go on for a very long time, months or even years, and you can be asked by several different people, and may seem to you that your word is often being called into question.

Good medical, legal and personal support services are, I think, essential, and you have to be ready within yourself if you decide to report the matter.

Croix