Trauma event and coping

Picture

Hi all

I have been involved in a very sad traumatic event (I won’t go into details online). It has left me reliving the incident over and over and thinking about the things I wish I had done. I have also had some flashbacks. Very overwhelming and crushing. Now I am starting to feel numb like a zombie. I have found calling crisis lines and seeing a psychologist during the week helpful. I can’t see through it at the moment and feel like I will never be myself again. I have medication to help with sleep but it doesn’t get me through the night. I need to at least partially function for my family. I feel so detached from reality. My faith has helped. I have tried to get an early appointment this week with my psychologist to help. Not really sure why I am posting, but I think just to see if anyone else has gone through a traumatic event and how they are coping.

Eagle Ray

Dear Picture,

I thought I’d just mention an approach to trauma that I have found helpful. I have done an approach called Somatic Experiencing developed by Peter Levine. It’s an approach that allows the body to complete a survival response in relation to a trauma experience in a safe, gently titrated way. He has some books that explain it. The ones I’ve read are In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness and Trauma & Memory, but he also has an earlier one called Waking the Tiger that I haven’t read. When it comes to things like PTSD, flashbacks and being stuck in a trauma loop, I have found this approach really helpful. I’d read the above two books even before I approached a psychologist to do the work. I did find I had to search a bit to find the right psychologist to work with but I eventually found someone who was good at this method. At the time I had a specific trauma that had been stuck in my system for 18 months with really strong flashbacks, hypervigilance etc. In just the second session we cleared that trauma quite effectively. I also have complex PTSD which is a bit more involved, but it’s helped in dealing with that too.

Essentially it is about allowing the nervous system to restore itself back to equilibrium. It starts from the body rather than trying to use the mind to fix things. This worked way better for me than trying to use cognitive approaches. This is just my personal experience and it may or may not feel right for you, but I just thought I’d mention it in case it helps.

In the above books he gives case examples of people who were chronically stuck in their trauma responses and how he worked with them to alleviate those responses. He does explain a bit about what their traumas were, which hopefully wouldn’t be too triggering, but it’s just to illustrate how their recovery took place. Much of his work has been inspired by seeing how animals in the wild naturally recover from traumatic experiences on a regular basis without lasting impacts, whereas we humans tend to get more stuck. He is a very compassionate man who has been through significant trauma himself which he only recently revealed in an autobiography (he’s in his 80s now).

Thank you for posting and sharing your experience. It’s good to reach out and great that you have been doing that with the helplines and your psychologist too.

Take great care,

Eagle Ray

Picture

Thank you Eagle Ray, that sounds interesting. I will speak to my psychologist about this when I next see her. I haven’t been to a personal psychologist before this traumatic incident and even one session was helpful and I am so glad I could see her quickly. I am struggling though and feel I will need support to get through what will be very difficult time.

Eagle Ray

No worries Picture. I wasn’t sure if you had been seeing your psychologist for a while or not. As you are at the beginning with her, she will be the best person to get some guidance from initially and will have ideas relevant to what you’ve been through. I just mentioned that particular somatic approach because it’s helped me, but it’s important to find what resonates for you.

One of the most beneficial things about seeing a therapist I’ve found is the co-regulation where them just being present with you and validating your emotions can help to calm the nervous system and settle some of the trauma response. Sometimes just that process alone can do a huge amount to begin healing. It really sounds like you are doing the right things and it may just take some time to work through it all.

If it’s any encouragement, I’m definitely learning to overcome things like flashbacks. They still happen to a degree but my system does not react for as long and I’m much more able to quickly recognise it’s a flashback and realise I’m safe now and begin to regulate. Things can definitely improve and keep improving and I’ve experienced particular trauma responses resolving. Some are still a work in progress but I know I’m on a healing journey.

Animals can be very healing too. I actually did a session of equine therapy four years ago and that was quite helpful. I may try that again at some point. That’s just another thought in case that is something that may resonate for you. Animals can definitely bring us back into the present and be very grounding. Speaking of grounding, Peter Levine has this exercise you can do where you chant the sound “vooo” deeply in your belly at a low frequency. This can actually be very calming for the nervous system as it is like a massage for the gut and sends a message through the body that we are grounded and safe. It can de-activate the fight/flight/freeze responses and release the bracing patterns in the body that tend to accompany trauma.

Anyway, take good care and we are here to chat if you feel the need. All the best going forward,

ER

trying_my_best

Hi there!
I am so sorry that you have gone through a traumatic event! I have personally been through one and I sympathise with your situation!
Trauma is different for everyone, and so is everyone’s period of recovery! The fact that you are already seeing a psychologist and calling crisis lines, and even posting on here is so commendable!

I read that you feel like you have to partially function for your family and I completely understand that as I felt the same when I experienced my event. However, please don’t force yourself to push yourself! I pushed myself too far during my recovery and didn’t allow myself to be kind to myself. I didn’t talk to my family about how I was really going with my recovery (of course do this at your own pace) and when I did tell them they wished I had spoken up sooner so that they didn’t think I was fine. Your family are there to support you and I’m sure if allowed the chance they can help support you.

I wish you all the best 🫶