Tired

[Delectable]

I’m tired of a lot of things, of doing this thing called life alone. I chose not to have children after living a traumatic childhood till I was 13 and placed in stare care. I never experienced love from my family or my past boyfriends. I have spent my entire life feeling never good enough for people, in the last fifteen years after I left a relationship I have felt more distant then ever. I worked as much as possible so I was either tired and didn’t think about the loneliness. I lot a few contracts and started baking, giving the food away when I could afford to do so. I’ve rented for the last 15 years and have had to do one bad move which was very hard on me giving away a beautiful harden and accessories to people I thought were friends but users in the end as I only live 30kns away and they choose to have nothing to do with me. I only work one day now and am struggling with filling in time, I do exercise every day for an hour, but there’s still over 13 hours to fill in. As i live in Victoria near NSW I’m stuck because of the coronavirus in Melbourne and not allowed out of my state though my area hadn’t had any cases for 90 days.

Tired of making friends to be let down by then, one life friend said speak to the psychologist, so I speak once every 6 weeks. I really don’t see much point continuing my life, there’s only so much one can take and I feel like ending my life especially iff I cannot go to Queensland in December for Christmas which I have not had Christmas for over 35 years with anyone. I do not take drugs or drink alcohol, just extremely overtired of my living.

[Hanna3]

Popping by to say hello Delectable & Sleepy, excuse me for being in the middle of your conversation - going to the Orthodox church the other day sounds like a lovely thing to do Delectable, the Orthodox churches are usually so beautiful. I wonder did they have the mass all standing up... I wonder if you could go along Christmas Eve, it would be a lovely service I think!

Sleepy, I have always wanted to visit New York! I am envious! Cheers.

[Delectable]

Thank you, I made some Hokifli today, walnut cookies for my psychologist who I see tomorrow, she bulk bills me so I make her something, I feel bad I cannot pay. I love the European culture, that’s my heritage as well. My mother was German, and my father claimed to be German but could have been anything as he illegally entered Australia and changed his name. When I watched the Hermitage, I felt as Catherine the great could have been related to me as she went exactly where I want to go, Crimea and the Black Sea. I’m drawn to St Petersburg, Estonia, Crimea, Venice & Budapest....

The Orthodox Church celebrate Christmas Jan 6 or 7, I will stay away from people at Christmas Eve, I will take medication to not hear anything, my neighbours laughter or happiness. The church only runs once a fortnight as the priest comes from Melbourne, yes it was all standing Hanna. It’s the most beautiful church I have ever seen, not that I’ve been to many except when I was forced to go to salvation army Sunday school or to Church of England. This morning I went walking, 15.3 kms around water & hills.

[Delectable]

Which is your favourite European bakery in Melbourne Sleepy?

[Delectable]

They look very similar to the French bugne.

[Delectable]

2 cups flour
1 tablespoonsugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 eggs yolks
3–5 tablespoons heavy cream (or sour cream)
1 tablespoon spirits (I used Soplica, but any whiskey or rum will do)
1/2 teaspon vanilla
1 teaspoon citrus zest (optional)
lard, for frying
powdered sugar, for dusting

INSTRUCTIONS
Combine flour, sugar, and salt
In a seperate bowl, combine the egg yolks, 3 tablespoons cream, spirits, vanilla, and zest if you’re using it
Add the wet ingredients to the dry and stir until the dough comes together, use a little more cream if necessary
Roll out as thin as possible
Cut into 1 x4 inch strips, cutting a slit in the middle of each strip
Pul one end through the slit, to create a twisted appearance
Heat lard to 350 F
Fry in batches, turning to cook both sides, until golden brown
Drain on paper towels
Roll in powdered sugar

[Delectable]

There is a Polish bakery in Melbourne. Hope your culture night went well, Sleepy.

[Hanna3]

I would go on the 6th or 7th January then, it should be a beautiful service, and you would get to enjoy the lovely church again - something to look forward to!

You're very good at recipes Delectable.

I hope Sleepy has a good evening out.

Cheers.

[Guest_1643]

Hi D - they do look similar to the French ones you mentioned - just different shape!

My grandmother used to make them in wispy strips. I remember getting the impression that they were very very unhealthy, my Mum used to limit me to one or two of them. Good luck for tomorrow with the GP D.

Culture night was really nice. It was interesting to see how my new boundaries and inner strength resonated with people. I felt like I could make a boundary if someone was being too intense with me, and I was proud to have learnt how to do that. I like to go to book/art/culture events in Melbourne when I can.

They had a bbq which was nice, and I liked eating with ppl. I haven't done that for a long time. I like communal meals and gatherings.

D I'm happy to read your psychologist is bulk-billing - they are hard to find. Are they nice? I wander why more don't bulk bill but my friend told me they have a lot of out-of-pocket costs with hiring their rooms etc.

[Guest_1643]

Hi D - you mentioned you are interested in Hungary as well - my grandmother used to cook another dish called Letcho- I loved it. A beautiful Hungarian Letcho, can go nicely with sour cream or hash browns on side. Have you ever had this dish? It was my favourite.

[Delectable]

No

I haven’t heard of that dish, I’ll look in my Hungarian cookbook later, it’s going to be 35. I’ll be glad to get home after walking in the heat all morning. My psychologist is nice, I’ve been there for nearly 2 years, she feels she isn’t helping me though, maybe I’m beyond help, who knows. I’m glad you had a nice night out Sleepy, in reference to my landlord whom is Greek and money hungry, my air conditioner broke and I said I didn’t want a new one as I didn’t want the rent to go up which he put up $5 which doesn’t sound like much but that’s $10 less a fortnight for me. With covid my rent will go up more like the other tenant did.