Tired

[Delectable]

I’m tired of a lot of things, of doing this thing called life alone. I chose not to have children after living a traumatic childhood till I was 13 and placed in stare care. I never experienced love from my family or my past boyfriends. I have spent my entire life feeling never good enough for people, in the last fifteen years after I left a relationship I have felt more distant then ever. I worked as much as possible so I was either tired and didn’t think about the loneliness. I lot a few contracts and started baking, giving the food away when I could afford to do so. I’ve rented for the last 15 years and have had to do one bad move which was very hard on me giving away a beautiful harden and accessories to people I thought were friends but users in the end as I only live 30kns away and they choose to have nothing to do with me. I only work one day now and am struggling with filling in time, I do exercise every day for an hour, but there’s still over 13 hours to fill in. As i live in Victoria near NSW I’m stuck because of the coronavirus in Melbourne and not allowed out of my state though my area hadn’t had any cases for 90 days.

Tired of making friends to be let down by then, one life friend said speak to the psychologist, so I speak once every 6 weeks. I really don’t see much point continuing my life, there’s only so much one can take and I feel like ending my life especially iff I cannot go to Queensland in December for Christmas which I have not had Christmas for over 35 years with anyone. I do not take drugs or drink alcohol, just extremely overtired of my living.

[Delectable]

Why don’t people post on someone’s thread when they are quiet? It’s like show and tell, they make out they care when the author posts on their thread but if they are quiet, get the total ignore. I have noticed this on another’s thread who has the same problems as me....however the other person is a mum who has children, someone to worth caring for,

[Sophie_M]

Hi Delectable,

We just wanted to reach out to say we and all those who have reached out to you here do care for you. It sounds like you might be feeling a little low today. If you are seeking more immediate support than the forums can provide, please don't hesitate to reach out to our Support Service day or night on 1300 22 4636.

[Delectable]

I’m not referring to myself: though the situation applies there but to other threads, such as Kombies, for example.

[Hanna3]

Hi D,

When they're no activity on your thread people assume you're not there. You aren't well known yet (it takes time) and lots of people post for a while and then just leave BB permanently because it doesn't suit them or whatever..also people on BB have problems.. and life gets busy and they're not always on, or only have a short time. You need to keep popping by the Cafe in particular, and the games..and maybe start a thread that will attract people because it's about something they can relate to, like coping with being poor, or how to make friends, whatever, just try to think of something that plenty of people might relate to. Good luck.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Delectable,
It might look harsh to see threads go quiet and people not commenting and checking in, so I can uderstand you

I guess there is an option for people to leave the forums at any time and it happens pretty frequently so sometimes we will try and check in but the person has left for their own reasons

You're welcome to check in and sometimes people do and I'm sorry it feels upsetting or triggering to see no one replying

I try and reply and show interest in the thread I connect to but there are always ones that fall between the cracks and it can be upsetting.

Sometimes I also have to take a break if I'm dealing with my own MH struggles. It's kind of you to care about the users here and I hope you find ppl here you connect to.
I know it can be sad here to read of people who are struggling and sometimes feel hard to know how to help.
Over time I have found this personally to be a safe, non-judgemental and helpful place but I respect not everyone feels that way. I hope you are okay.

[Delectable]

Ok this is about others, how do you know they have left BB? Just because they are quiet? That’s a bit unfair to presume that, how do you know they don’t still log in and read their or others threads? Maybe there post isn’t relevant to others, in all reality December is a very hard month for most people, the loneliness sets in...they may not be capable of making another thread, Kombie390 is an example thread and there maybe others,

In reference to being poor I don’t mind, I prefer to struggle then having everything given to me, I can pay rent and my bills and eat 2 meals a day, I have 2 feet for walking and a heartbeat, there’s nothing monetary I could want or need Hanna. I myself am not up to making another thread on a topic like missing their home/origin, I have to try very hard not to think about that or I hate it even more so in Australia.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Delectable,

The reason people may not follow up is also because they may be struggling themselves and not be up to it wile battling their own mental health issues. We are not obligated here to write but do so when we feel we can out of good heart and trying to help. It's not perfect, for sure.

[Guest_1643]

I don't know Kombie's thread but hope they get the right support and do see a lot of support happening accross some other threads. I understand that no place is perfect and people should get the support they need in a timely way, and maybe that would make the forum safer. I find it generally a pretty safe place. if you are worried about a user or something is upsetting or concerning you, you can "report a post" (there's a button at the bottom of a post) and a moderator will respond to u to help you out. There are moderators who respond to queries from the users and step in to offer support. There are also volunteers who try to keep the forums safe and busy. I don't think anyone is neglecting anyone purposefully and I personally try really hard to write to the threads i see and connect to, but there's 1000s of threads so it isn't always possible to answer every one. Sometimes then, I will also need a break.

[Hanna3]

Hi D. (waves to Sleepy!)

Thanks for saying hi over on my thread, I thought I'd respond here on yours.

Are you going to Queensland for Christmas?

I don't seem to have been able to suggest anything that was helpful for you, so I thought it best if others give some suggestions. Yes my birthday thank you, a very quiet one I expected that... it's too close to Xmas for a start!

You do sound unhappy, i'm sorry. So I'm wondering, what things might make you feel better? Can you think of anything, however small, that you could do that might help?

Yep today was a downer for me, I knew it would be, I made several phone calls to old friends and had a chat, I walked Sam twice (which made him happy and was probably healthy for me at least!) but yes we all have blah days... and yep I chat to old pals here on BB, who are very kind and a very real support. It really can be valuable to stay around here and get to know people... many are very kind.

I hope things are going OK for you. Take care. Thanks for wishing me a happy birthday on my thread, that was nice of you. Cheers.

[Delectable]

No, I’m not welcome at Christmas as my Hungarian friend became too much of a dictator listing my faults constantly to the point of where I asked her to stop and she replied to go ..... myself and I was too precious...harsh person she is.... we are no longer friends....I’ve canceled my ticket, as people get older their tolerance fades, mine does anyway... people seem to forget you when you hit 45....they forget your birthday. I’ll remember yours as my mum’s is tomorrow, she would be 96 if she was still alive. Fools, my parents were when they had me, my papa in name was 62 and my mama was 48....she died 13 days before I turned five. I miss her more then ever, people say it gets easier but I actually find it gets harder each year, I wish I could go home but it doesn’t exist for nearly 44 years....my psychologist thinks I may have bpd, I think I’m just fed up with peoples crap... people here in Australia seems to think it’s ok to do and say what they like but it’s not ok. I hope you enjoyed your time with Sam, alas it’s not the same as human contact. I had hoped coronavirus might bring people back together but that doesn’t seem to have happened,