Thebluepineapple~
I had a very similar worry, though the circumstances were a little different.
I became ill wiht PTSD, depression and anxiety due to work-related matters. I found that if I was disturbed when needing to be alone, or preoccupied with past or future events I'd react very badly when my partner tried to comfort me, with everything from a gentle hand, soothing voice, an offer of a cuppa, or a more intimate approach.
On such occasions I'd react badly and was constantly worried I'd lash out and hurt my partner. I would feel disorientation, anger and resentment and on several occasions jumped up violently, or shouted
This caused me great apprehension I'd actually hit out, something I really did not want to do for the world.
I never did, and although I did not feel like I had conscious control in the second or two of being aroused never did hit out. Looking back later on I think my love stopped me hurting the one I loved, even though -silly as it sounds - I was so separated from myself that I did not know if I actually loved anyone.
Over time the problem became less and eventually went away, though at times I was still difficult and felt resentment/jealousy/loss (which are hard to explain)
All I can suggest is you talk about the matter as Sara has outlined and approach matters slowly. It may be that talk is difficult, not so much because of embarrassment or fear of rejection but simply because it might bring back vividly your trauma, so I'd suggest you warn him of this before you start.
Curiously enough it means you need faith in yourself, that you will not go to extremes, and from your words I'd be confident that particular issue will be OK.
Be prepared for other matters though, you my find you are unable to be as intimate as you intended, or start to cry -both of which have happened to me. With a caring partner and patience it will be OK.
Croix
