PTSD - using new DV rental legislation and anxiety

[SandyO]

Hi Guys

looking for some practical supportive help. I have severe PTSD having been in a physically and mentally abusive relationship for 10 years (2 years out) I left after a number of severe physical altercations almost cost my life.

thanks to the support of friends and my therapist I have relied on the new Dv legislation to move out of the place I have rented for 5 years as my ex keeps causing issues. I didn’t feel strong enough to move but my therapist and I agreed it would be the most positive thing for me.

My problem is this. I move in 3 weeks time however the landlord in that time wants to come in so she can see what she needs to be done and has started giving my number to tradespeople.

My anxiety having strange people in the house is overwhelming and I find I am triggered in certain circumstances. I kind of want to help the landlord out and be obliging but the stress associated is awful and I’m worried if I’m difficult that they will find any reason to withhold my 3k bond which I could really do with.

I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not. If I should just oblige and get on with it. The landlord herself wants to turn up at 6pm in the evening which I find stressful as I now work almost full time. My history dictates a necessity to clean almost obsessively and to be honest I’m exhausted, my home is full wit half packed boxes and the thought of having anyone here is overwhelming.

thanks in advance for listening and posting any tips or advice that you can think of

[geoff]

Hello Sandy, thanks for coming to the forums and I'm pleased you have been kept safe after your abusive relationship, however, it has caused severe PTSD as you say.

Having to clean almost obsessively may indicate that you need to be diagnosed again, however, this doesn't help you with your problem at the moment and if you like please reply back to us.

I do understand the fear you may have with the landlord and any tradesmen coming into your home and in Vic they can only enter the house between the hours of 8 am to 6 pm, but not on public holidays.

If you have made an agreement with the landlord and if you have given your consent for them to enter can be at any time you have agreed to and the landlord or real estate agent are allowed to bring a tradesman with them.

The landlord can give you 24 hours notice if they want to bring a new tenant to view the property, so perhaps I can offer a couple of suggestions

-are you able to have a friend there with you

-depending on how long before you move out, are you able to ask the landlord to wait a couple of days

- do you need to change your phone number, but would like to hear back from you.

Take care.

Geoff.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi SandyO,

Welcome to the forums and I'm glad you're here - especially glad that you're looking to move out and keep yourself safe from a DV situation. That alone shows me that you have so much strength and resilience inside of you.

It sounds like the biggest problem is having the landlord at your house - would it make it less overwhelming if you were not at home? My parents were landlords and it was not uncommon to arrange for them to come at a time that was most suitable for the tenant - the tenant was an older lady who liked her own space so they didn't mind at all.

With the bond, even if you are renting a private property - you still do have rights. It might be worth looking those up in your state if this is something you are concerned about. If your landlord withholds your bond they do need to let you know and have a valid reason why.

Hope this helps

RT