Gosh there is so much to talk about and i just wish to put it all in
words It started wehn my sister and i where 6 and 5 respectively. One
day mom and dad sat us down to explain we will have a new mommy soon. We
were kids and too this day i do not kn...
View more
Gosh there is so much to talk about and i just wish to put it all in
words It started wehn my sister and i where 6 and 5 respectively. One
day mom and dad sat us down to explain we will have a new mommy soon. We
were kids and too this day i do not know the reason for it. i was just
sad that mommy was goping away, early that morning mom woke us and we
fled states, too live with gradma. i had started school by then, but i
was always upset after that, i failed to make any friends in the new
place, and just fell behind in school. I never cuaght up. Im sure there
was legal battles over custady right, and some time in grate 6 or 7 i
spent a year living with dad, his new wife and her three kids. This was
my year of hell. My step mom just did not plain like me, i never
understood at the time, but now i believe that she saw me as some kind
of threat too her own security. And she started forbidding me to return
home after school, without my father, So at abotu 10 years of age (i
think) i would wait around the ferry pier for my dad to return from
accoss the harbour at about 6-7pm each night so i could go home That
essentially left me roaming the streets, alone, and very sad. for 3-4
hours every afternoon. It so happened i chanced on a man, who was very
kind too me, he would talk too me, play chess with me, and buy me
icecreams. But he also did other things too me, things that a child
should not experience. And i just, dreading it, went along with it, let
him do what he wanted cuase he paid attention too me, and bought me
icecreams I tried to tell Dad, a few times, not about the man, he was my
friend. that my step mother never let me come home after school. They
would have fights, i could hear it, and her kids would call me a "home
wrecker". But Dad just casually passed it off too me as "i thought you
just liked greeting me". So im old now, and ive never talked about this,
ive never moved on with my life, its been wasted. I dont have a
girlffriend, ive had difficulty keeping a job, and have had long gaps of
upto a decade between jobs in my past. Every day is a battle with
depression, anxiety and possibly PSTD. Ive seen so many phychologists,
even a pychiatic doctor. I just couldnt bring myself to share with
anyone any of my history. So after a time, it was all considered "not
much concern", and a case generally feeling downtrodden. That is my
fualt, i never opened up. I just dont know how too, in person
PTSD for Medical and First Responders
