Support
Support

PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

Start a conversation

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a conversation

Pinned discussions

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

All discussions

Start a conversation

NPD_Survivor Nobody i know has any idea what living with a covert Narcissist is like.
  • replies: 5

Nobody i know has any idea what living with a covert Narcissist is like & all i can say is that im so very grateful they dont! I endured 12 long yrs with this person who did not love or respect me in any way shape or form & the trauma from the daily ... View more

Nobody i know has any idea what living with a covert Narcissist is like & all i can say is that im so very grateful they dont! I endured 12 long yrs with this person who did not love or respect me in any way shape or form & the trauma from the daily occurrences has given me severe PTSD type symptoms, i now have regular panic attacks with the thought of him coming through the front door so i hide in my room as when the feeling comes over me i have to lay down as ive been close to passing out at times. The straw that broke the camels back was when he announanced & laughed infront of me to a friend, that in his eyes i resembled a 414lb woman (i gained 10kgs after loosing my young mother to a brain aneurysm so gained a dress size or 2 due to depression) i couldnt take it anymore, he made my skin crawl with his personality traits, the list of things that made me question my sanity of why i was with a person like that is so long & involved that i cant possibly write it all down. As i write this i am waiting for him to arrive home to pack his items up as hes moving out, i feel like ive escaped the 12 year prison of unhappiness i was in & immediately entered another prison! Most people have said to me that i should be happy with him moving out, well of course i am but im left completely on my own with ABSOLUTELY NO WAY OF LOOKING AFTER MYSELF....I WASENT ALLOWED TO WORK.....So i cant find a job as i have NO EXPERIENCE, NO SKILLS AND NO QUALIFICATIONS & on top of that im turning 40 this year so they wont consider me due to my age so im terrified & dont know who to turn too! Ive also never been allowed to have any control with finances, or make any decisions in the last 12 years. I feel so completely overwhelmed. Ive also gone from him earning a very lage amount of money each week (3 to 4 times higher than the average wage) to being drip fed the tiniest amount each week to live on until i find myself a job which is extremely difficult when i cant apply to 98% of jobs so im in panic mode right now with 2 kids to support. I honestly wish i could just crawl into a hole right now, ive well & truely lost myself! I can tell you all the things IM NOT as for years it was drummed into me all the things i was not, but i cant tell you all the things that I AM as ive lost that part of me & i feel so very sad about that, i use to be a happy confident, self assured person.....IM NOT ANYMORE.

lantern22 My husband's severe betrayal and the workplace that knew..has left me with PTSD
  • replies: 2

I was married to my best friend. I adored my husband - loved him immensely I thought he was a man of integrity, and for nearly 19 years thought he went to work in an environment where he was appreciated and respected. I also thought his work colleagu... View more

I was married to my best friend. I adored my husband - loved him immensely I thought he was a man of integrity, and for nearly 19 years thought he went to work in an environment where he was appreciated and respected. I also thought his work colleagues respected him because he was married and, I assumed he spoke highly of me as his wife. I was severely deceived and betrayed and had no idea. I was caring for my mother for some years. She suffered from severe anxiety, AMD and dementia. I also have some chronic auto-immune health issues. She died in October 2015. My husband, I thought adored and loved her. But after she died, he left me suddenly, five months after her passing. I had NO idea. Suddenly, this monster emerged, a man I had loved and respected. I found out later that I was the 'joke'of the workplace and he planned to leave me by cheating on me with another woman in another country and planning on exist when I was deeply grieving my mother. I had absolutely no idea all this planning and deception was going on behind my back, while I was busy planning a funeral and grieving my mother. I was also mentally and physically exhausted after many years of caregiving. My husband was well respected by friends, my family and our church community for over 20 years. He abandoned me and I discovered later that his work colleagues knew what he was planning and were supporting him. I am not sure if they knew my mother had died or not I assume they did as he took time off work for her funeral. I was the 'joke' and the joke was on me. I have suffered with severe PTSD since. My husband divorced me, I lost my home, my dignity and now live with confusion wondering who this man is and what part of my life was real with him.. I have little or no support. I have pondered..should I contact my husband's place of employment and tell them what he has done and what others had done in helping planning this horrid joke and that they had done this on a woman who just lost her mother and was in deep emotional and physical pain and exhaustion. I know, it's nearly been four years but I feel as though it may help relieve the PTSD. I don't want them to let my ex-husband know though. Or, do I need to let this go, not say anything and try and heal of this PTSD myself?

Goldenribbon Ageing women value
  • replies: 14

I’m hoping I won’t offend anyone with my post ad I realise what I’m thinking is a product of my experiences and thoughts but I’m really having trouble or getting past themsince a very young age perhaps 9,10 I recall older men being inappropriate towa... View more

I’m hoping I won’t offend anyone with my post ad I realise what I’m thinking is a product of my experiences and thoughts but I’m really having trouble or getting past themsince a very young age perhaps 9,10 I recall older men being inappropriate towards me . A man exposing himself , many many inappropriate comments , leering , sometimes ‘accidental touching , then at 11 sexual ‘relations’ from a 17 yr old boy That went on for a year or so . I’ve never known what to make of it as he wasn’t technically an adult . I have raised it with a couple of counsellors but both were reluctant to say much . I’m extremely angry and tearful when I think of it and ashamed . I went completely off the rails and into abusive relationships from there anyway , my issue is I have zero trust in men and a huge obstacle believing I could ever have a real relationship , even though that’s what I truly want , because I believe deep down all men truly care about and want is youth. All my examples in life have confirmed this in both my personal experience and friends around me . I hate porn as In my mind it confirms mens obsession with youth and beauty with older women being relegated to a fetish .My closest friends tell me that men on dating sites their age block women their own age even though they say they don’t want children in their profile and I read that men’s optimal age for a partner for their entire life is 22 even through women prefer men within a few years of their own age . Apparently that survey was taken from over 200k people so it’s not small I look around me for some examples to try and give me opposing views and think ok I’ve found a man standing by his wife then I find out he left for a 21 yr old ....I just feel women are only valued for youth and looks and so discarded and that any of a relationship of you didn’t get it right in your youth is decreased for a woman just because she losses the thing men value most . I feel like I’m permanently damaged . I mean if I can’t be through these thoughts by this age . Everyone else is living in the same world as me and either doesn’t see these things or isn’t bothered by them so there’s clearly something very wrong with me and I don’t seem to get anywhere talking to therapist . In another thread a psychologist was suggested but I’m apprehensive as my experience is no one wants to hear this ... o guess I’m venting and wondering if anyone has ever felt this

lazycalm Recently diagnosed with psychosis from PTSD
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone! this is my first post on this forum, I have been in intensive therapy for a bit over a year, last year I was hospitalised for a suicide attempt as a result of my depression and anxiety, along with my developing psychotic symptoms. I am d... View more

Hi everyone! this is my first post on this forum, I have been in intensive therapy for a bit over a year, last year I was hospitalised for a suicide attempt as a result of my depression and anxiety, along with my developing psychotic symptoms. I am doing a lot better than I was last year, but recently I was officially diagnosed with psychosis, and it's taking a toll on me. I have used up my therapy sessions, but I don't think I want to return to it for a while because I think I can cope by myself now, but I'm just looking for a bit of support on these forums. I had an extremely bad acid trip on new years a couple years back, and I've never felt the same since. I have 1st episodic psychosis and PTSD as a result. It drives me nuts.. I'm often very paranoid, and I have slight auditory and visual hallucinations, though nothing too extreme, it makes me feel like I'm going crazy. I feel dissociated literally 100% of the time, and it makes my work life and social life quite difficult. For example, I get confused about my surroundings, it feels like I'm looking through a screen all the time, like nothing is real around me. It feels really scary but I'm just trying to accept that this is my life now. Sometimes I get so confused that I don't see where I'm going and I might walk into someone or something by accident. My vision is always fuzzy, and I can see halos around people. I know it sounds crazy, and I know it's just my illness but it gets so tiring having to act normal around people, like I'm not experiencing anything. I guess I'm really scared of this developing into something like schizophrenia. It would be reassuring to hear from people with psychosis or a similar experience to me. I feel there is so much stigma around it because people think you're crazy or will harm others because of it, which isn't true at all. I also have really bad depression and anxiety, and I have panic attacks a lot simply because I get anxious about the possibility of getting anxious. It's so draining Anyway, sorry if I have rambled a lot but I'd just like to get some reassurance that I'm not alone and I'm not crazy.

bonvita_p Sexual Assualt, mental health, full-time work, support?
  • replies: 2

Hallo BB community, I am reaching out for advice. I experience very extreme ups and downs caused by complex trauma from childhood sexual assault. I went to a music festival in Nov 2018 and experienced assault again and haven't had a grip all year, I ... View more

Hallo BB community, I am reaching out for advice. I experience very extreme ups and downs caused by complex trauma from childhood sexual assault. I went to a music festival in Nov 2018 and experienced assault again and haven't had a grip all year, I started a new full-time job thinking a fresh start would distract me but ive had multiple break-downs and seriously embarrassing emotional days. I have recently applied for counselling and cognitive behavioural training through Victim Services but ive seen two psychologists in 6 months and really don't feel like they've helped. My mum keeps telling my it'll take time but I am burning out. I have spiralled AGAIN> displays of aggression to my boss and total anti-social behaviour with colleagues leading up to it. Felt like I was experiencing bullying all year and told myself I could talk it out with people before the holidays. A lot of the time they work in pairs and I never felt considered. I must have been too confrontational because I have been given a warning from my boss about it. Im really disappointed in myself for not handling it, im an only child and I think I take these things too seriously, I was so embarrassed and didn't know what to say to anyone. I feel sick and pathetic that this is how I feel. I talked to my GP about it and he gave me a 3 day medical note and said it sounds like everyone at work is stressed. Ive worked really hard all year and he knows I have. My boss wanted to know what was wrong with me, hes really old school and makes all the woman at work uncomfortable so this was really hard for me. I told him my GP says im stressed, he asked for a diagnoses, I said complex trauma, he said that has nothing to do with work and if its affecting me then I shouldn't be in the workforce and he would like to know so he can replace me. I want to crumble. I don't want to find another employer. I want to sit with myself and accept the world, study at tafe and do volunteer work for the planet. Does anyone know where child sexual assault victims stand under disability payments from centrelink? I don't feel like ive healed at all this year. I feel so tired and angry. I want to take time out to heal.

Bear1922 Does PTSD Ever get better?
  • replies: 6

The title to this post pretty much sums up my query. I felt like I turned the corner for a couple of weeks. But now - night terrors, flashbacks, physically painful sadness. Nights spent up just crying - more like a silent scream of anguish. Exhausted... View more

The title to this post pretty much sums up my query. I felt like I turned the corner for a couple of weeks. But now - night terrors, flashbacks, physically painful sadness. Nights spent up just crying - more like a silent scream of anguish. Exhausted & losing the determination to fight on.

Close I think my daughter has become so institutionalised it’s becoming too difficult to fit back into her home life.
  • replies: 4

She has been in a mental health care facility for pretty much 2 years and has been for home stays but usually only lasts a couple of weeks. She has 4 children and her interest seems to be waning - it seems to be too much for her. She also has become ... View more

She has been in a mental health care facility for pretty much 2 years and has been for home stays but usually only lasts a couple of weeks. She has 4 children and her interest seems to be waning - it seems to be too much for her. She also has become totally self absorbed and demanding. Any suggestions?

Chelle72 PTSD from an anaesthesia awareness trauma
  • replies: 14

I was diagnosed with PTSD recently due to a traumatic event when I was 2.5 years old and its been the most horrendous and strangely empowering journey. Memories that we block usually come back, however hard we try to keep that door locked tight. I re... View more

I was diagnosed with PTSD recently due to a traumatic event when I was 2.5 years old and its been the most horrendous and strangely empowering journey. Memories that we block usually come back, however hard we try to keep that door locked tight. I realised that my body was always trying to remind me of what happened but I always stopped it until last year when, during an incredibly stressful period at work, those memories refused to stay in that black hole any longer. My trauma was what they call "anaesthesia awareness" and happened during a tonsillectomy. It has been a lonely journey because there is very little information and support for people like me. I do know that a lot of sufferers commit suicide and I can understand why. Sometimes it felt like I was tiptoeing through a minefield, defusing bombs (memories) and wondering if the next one was the one that would blow up in my face, the one I didn't survive. For the first time I was afraid to go to sleep because I naively believed that I could control my memories/thoughts while I was awake. Yes I thought of suicide, because trying to escape internal pain can sometimes make you feel like that is the only option. It isn't but it can seem like a blessed relief until you realise the pain it will cause your loved ones. It gives you the strength to get through one more day, and then the next... I'm lucky I guess in that the panic attacks come in the middle of the night and so don't affect my work. This trauma affected me in so many ways, a personality was created out of unbelievable terror and I wonder if the innocent little girl is still in there, the one who doesn't know fear and can feel joy and freedom with that fear constantly lingering in the background. My way of coping was to try to control everything around me, I felt it gave me a false sense of safety and when I got older, alcohol - it made the fear go away - temporarily at least. The trauma stopped me having a family as I couldn't be around young children, they terrified me and if they were upset or screaming it was even worse. Maybe its because it forced me to remember a little girls' internal screams that no one could hear.. My journey isn't over but I am getting closer to the end with the help of a wonderful psychologist and an amazingly supportive husband. I just wanted to say if anyone else is suffering from a trauma and internal pain that is threatening to overwhelm you - please don't despair - there is help and there is hope!

Jasmin15 CPTSD & Bipolar, but still trying to smile.
  • replies: 2

Wow, would you look at that. I’ve reached out for human contact... Hi guys, I’m a 29 year old mother of three. And clearly I use humour or sarcasm to mask my true emotions... sigh.. Anyways I thought I’d post my first time and introduce myself to oth... View more

Wow, would you look at that. I’ve reached out for human contact... Hi guys, I’m a 29 year old mother of three. And clearly I use humour or sarcasm to mask my true emotions... sigh.. Anyways I thought I’d post my first time and introduce myself to others who also have similar MHCs. I have been on a long journey with my mental health and it began when I was a child. Being sexually abused for 10 years til the strength to make my way in the world. However due to trauma, a lack of education and a rebellious streak I didn’t seek the help I needed til much later in life. When I found myself homeless, pregnant and alone. I endured many years a single mother, made some poor decisions had the worst luck when it come to my decision regarding my partners. I ended up suffering a great deal of violence, both physical and sexually in natural, in my early twenties. I managed to free myself after years of torment at the hands of the biological father of my youngest child. I’ve been in a safe, new home now for 2 years now. Just started to see my doctors and have my medicines fixed up. I still have really shit days. But today was a good day. I seen my psychiatrist and spoke about making a new plan to manage my bipolar. I feel sad sometimes, and wonder does the trauma ever go away? Does anyone else have similar issues? Hoping to find some hope, maybe some new cyber friends or possibly even inspiration. Much love to those who are suffering and their families.

Guest_9043 Experiencing immense grief, sadness, loss, loss of hope and angry over family.
  • replies: 27

Hi, I am an adult survivor of Childhood abuse and Trauma. I was abused by both parents growing up well into my adult years. I am now 40 years old. I let go of him (male family member opposite to a mother) I cannot even say the name. I let him go just... View more

Hi, I am an adult survivor of Childhood abuse and Trauma. I was abused by both parents growing up well into my adult years. I am now 40 years old. I let go of him (male family member opposite to a mother) I cannot even say the name. I let him go just after I turned 30 years old. I finally realised it was not my fault that my father did not love me. 18 years of my life completely wasted. It took me roughly ten years to deal with the grief, loss and abuse. It was so so so hard. I did not go to counselling. In hindsight maybe I should have but cannot be undone what is now done. I still have some things to work through in regards to him but nowhere near as much as my two remaining family members, her ( again opposite to a father) and my sister. I have made a choice that when he passes away (not that I will find out probably) that I will not be going to his funeral. He did not want me being alive, so really he does not deserve my farewell or respect. I already said goodbye to him. I know there is no chance left nor hope of ever having a relationship. So I have said my goodbyes in my own way. Sometimes it still hurts, like when I am going to do something that any daughter would love to have him with them and I feel sad for a moment. I guess no matter how much work I do there will always be a small part of me that feels a pang of sadness sometimes. I don't acknowledge Fathers day and I don't acknowledge his Birthday. I just get on with things. 5 months ago I left a same sex Domestic Violence relationship.Nobody knew I was in a Domestic Violence Relationship. I still have that to heal and recover from. When my remaining family members found out, I was not even going to tell them, My sister never did a single thing, not one single thing to help me or support me. My mother came to court with me once and I will not say what she did that day, I will just say that after many many many years of severe abuse and trauma from both of them, something inside of me said NO MORE. It was a real strong NO MORE and I meant it which changed my whole world. So to cut a very long story short, I am currently in a place now where the hope has died. I held hope for a long time. Hope for the family I needed and wanted. I have come to realise neither of them actually want to change and that is why my hope has gone. They don't want therapy and it is all about them. I am in therapy. I don't have any friends so I have no emotional support or people to talk to. It's VERY painful.

As an organisation that supports people from across Australia, Beyond Blue acknowledges the Traditional Owners and Custodians of Country and their continuing connection to land, waters and community. We pay respect to Elders past and present.

First Nations Peoples are advised that this website may include reference to and images of deceased persons.

Beyond Blue is committed to safe inclusive spaces, policies and services for people of LGBTIQ+ communities and their families.

Helpful information

Stay in touch

Sign up below for regular emails from Beyond Blue, filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.

Stay in touch

Talk it through with us, we'll point you in the right direction.

Call 1300 224 636

24 hours / 7 days a week

Chat Online

24 hours / 7 days a week

Email us

Get a reply in 24 hours

Copyright � 2026 Beyond Blue Ltd

All rights reserved

Contact us Terms of use Privacy policy Site map