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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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MilkandHoney EMDR and repressed feelings ? memories
  • replies: 1

Hi I feel somewhat stupid asking this question so bear with me please. I suffer from depression and PTSD and I recently started EMDR with my psychologist to help with the trauma from when I was raped as a 12 year old. I have a strong and clear memory... View more

Hi I feel somewhat stupid asking this question so bear with me please. I suffer from depression and PTSD and I recently started EMDR with my psychologist to help with the trauma from when I was raped as a 12 year old. I have a strong and clear memory of it even though it was more than 20 years ago. The PTSD diagnosis is still only relatively new as I didn't disclose the trauma for several years, and even though I know the event had a marked impart on my life I struggled somewhat with the diagnosis because it made me feel like a victim, which I hate. After the first few sessions I keep having memories and thinking about this former family friend (who we're no longer in contact with and haven't been for MANY years). I remember being around him as an approximately 7-8 year old and being really scared of him. I just get this sick to my stomach feeling.......and I feel like something happened to me do with him when I was younger. Like, not rape, but something....inappropriate nonetheless. I feel kind of stupid bringing it up (and feel too stupid to bring it up with my psychologist) but I keep getting these flashbacks of being a young child around him accompanied by a really strong visceral reaction. Does anyone have any experience with this? I have a really strong feeling of....terror and disgust and persistent thoughts about it but its not like I can remember an EVENT or something. I don't want to be oversensitive or, I don't know, a hypochondriac about it, but I don't understand why I would be having such strong feelings about it or even thinking about someone I've had nothing to do with several decades, and have no reason to think of.

Pirelli Relationship mental and physical abuse
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone I’m in my early 20s and I have been dating a girl who is 2 years younger then me we have been together for 1 and a half years and she is my first ever girlfriend, we love each other so much but we also do argue a lot most of the time over... View more

Hi everyone I’m in my early 20s and I have been dating a girl who is 2 years younger then me we have been together for 1 and a half years and she is my first ever girlfriend, we love each other so much but we also do argue a lot most of the time over immature stuff and sometimes bigger stuff but very rairly. We have had a lot of trust issues along the way nothing got to do with cheating mostly hiding things from each other for example I don’t like my partner smoking marijuana but she tends to do a lot more behind my back with her friends that I always end up finding out which then cause big arguements which then sometimes leads into get abit physical from both sides, I’m not gonna sit hear and lie, anyway long story short over how whole relationship we started to notice my anger getting out of control and I feel Like the reason is because she aggravates me and pushes me to get to those stages, I tell her to stop and be quiet multiple times cause I feel like my anger is gonna take over but then she continues till it does take over, now it’s got to the stage where she has told her mother and sister about the abusive relationship we have, her mum has made it clear not to contact her ever again, but because we love each other we still do contact and we want this to work but I need help with my short temper and anger, I just don’t know how to get it? I need someone who has been through this or knows how to help me to guide me through this, I also want to know how I can get back in the good books of her family because they really did love me, and I loved them like my own family. Where can I get help? thanks so much for reading and i really hope someone can help me

Bunjil Remembering abuse from 30 yrs ago
  • replies: 5

I have recently gone( am going through) an emotional time ..marriage break down . I sort the help from a psychologist and I have talked about a lot of things. Then it came back to me I remembered what happened to me over 30 years ago. I was with a ma... View more

I have recently gone( am going through) an emotional time ..marriage break down . I sort the help from a psychologist and I have talked about a lot of things. Then it came back to me I remembered what happened to me over 30 years ago. I was with a man and I asked him to stop but he didn't and I did nothing to stop him. This hit me hard and I had an emotional break down with my psychologist she helped me calm down and try to understand what happened. I thought I had worked through it but I was at a training session for work and I had a flashback that I needed to go to bathroom to give myself space to calm down. Now I'm scared I might be triggered again and not be able to deal with it. Why after so much time ....

SMS76 PTSD after physical abuse
  • replies: 1

Hi, Im new here. Struggling so much today. Im a registered nurse, working in palliative care. 3 months ago my fiance physically assaulted me. A week later I saw my GP and went to the police to make a statement. Life ever since has been surreal, court... View more

Hi, Im new here. Struggling so much today. Im a registered nurse, working in palliative care. 3 months ago my fiance physically assaulted me. A week later I saw my GP and went to the police to make a statement. Life ever since has been surreal, court, protection orders, safety plans, MRIs and CT scans, all on top of shift work and raising my son. I saw GP and psychologist last week and am now taking time off. I feel as if I may never recover, that this incident will define my life. This week has been the hardest of my life. Ive felt that I was strong and resilient until now. Have been told my mental health might get worse before it gets better. That thought is terrifying. Starting antidepressants tomorrow.

Shortness87 What does 'ok' even mean??
  • replies: 4

I get asked every now and then 'are you ok?' I'm at the point where I have forgotten what ok even means. I feel isolated and alone. No one around me understands. I wear a mask 24/7 As s**t hits the fan when I let my emotions show. I am exhausted and ... View more

I get asked every now and then 'are you ok?' I'm at the point where I have forgotten what ok even means. I feel isolated and alone. No one around me understands. I wear a mask 24/7 As s**t hits the fan when I let my emotions show. I am exhausted and need my mind to just stop. I need work to just stop. I need everything to stop so I can catch my breath.

cptsdisnojoke Work breakdown
  • replies: 1

I don’t even know where to begin. I have cptsd and have what my doctor and therapist described as “adrenaline exhaustion” from living in fight or flight for so long. Some days are better than others, that’s the one certainty I am aware of. I have bee... View more

I don’t even know where to begin. I have cptsd and have what my doctor and therapist described as “adrenaline exhaustion” from living in fight or flight for so long. Some days are better than others, that’s the one certainty I am aware of. I have been going really well for sometime now and this morning, it all began, out of nowhere it started and I couldn’t function. I tried to pull myself together and I had to go into work. I had a breakdown within two minutes of being there and it is a fairly new job (4 weeks). I am so embarrassed that my coworkers and boss saw this and it is making my anxiety creep back in. I feel so ashamed that I allowed someone to cause this in me many years ago and I’m so frustrated that I will never be me again. I see an amazing therapist who has taken me from scared to leave my house to now working, but I am beyond scared of one step forward and two back, my self confidence is at an all time low and I am so scared of going back to who I became. I am wondering, how do you cope with the embarrassing work breakdown? And also, how do you cope when the fear of going backward kicks in? Thank you you in advance for the advice, I didn’t know where to turn right at this very moment, I have therapy tomorrow so that’s a positive.

Amy_J New - Here to meet new people
  • replies: 15

Hi all, I am not quite sure what I am looking to find on here, but thought it might be nice to get to talk to other people in similar situations. I am a 28yo female. I have been suffering from mental health issues for a very long time now, having tim... View more

Hi all, I am not quite sure what I am looking to find on here, but thought it might be nice to get to talk to other people in similar situations. I am a 28yo female. I have been suffering from mental health issues for a very long time now, having times where everything seems fine, then having very low episodes that just seem to come out of no where. My mother died of cancer when I was 12. I watched her deteriorate over a period of twelve months, and sat with her and watched her take her last breath. This is what led to my PTSD. I have struggled with PTSD, anxiety and depression from that point in my life. At 18yo, my boss at the time, attempted to rape me. I fortunately got away from the situation before it progressed too far. Later on in that year, I came out to my friends and family as a lesbian. I lost around 90% of my friends because of this, and family took quite a while to come around and accept me as who I am. My family are great with it now, and I have made some new friends who accept me. I have recently been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and endometriosis and have been dealing with immense pains that have been affecting my day to day life. I have a lovely girlfriend who I know loves me, but I keep shutting her out because I don’t know if I can truly open up to her. She doesn’t seem to ever be affected by emotions, and doesn’t have much empathy for things she hasn’t experienced, so it’s hard to explain things to her. I am currently in a really low state of mind, and I just can’t figure it all out. My girlfriend keeps just saying that it must all be because my hormones are playing up. But honestly, I just feel really depressed and alone. A

TheOwl Advice, thoughts, opinions?
  • replies: 2

Hi all, this is the first thread. Ideas, any feedback would be appreciated. Background. I was diagnosed with C-PTSD about 3 months ago and in a marriage for 10 years or so. The marriage has ended. Not just due my PTSD but also other issues like my pa... View more

Hi all, this is the first thread. Ideas, any feedback would be appreciated. Background. I was diagnosed with C-PTSD about 3 months ago and in a marriage for 10 years or so. The marriage has ended. Not just due my PTSD but also other issues like my partners alcohol dependancy and treatment. On top of this we were seeing a family therapist. That fell through due to an infidelity disclosure on my wife's behalf. I see a therapist who's helping me understanding triggers and it's going really well. I'm engaged and am finding new insights about my trauma every week. My issue is around how I manage the separation. I'm interested in whether others have experienced similar? I've been living at AirBNBs and couch surfing for two months. I have a great network of friends and a closer circle who provide perspective. I'm managing it well. They have asked me to get more advice about my current situation. My partner was having an affair online with an old flame (facebook) which had been going on for a while. My instincts were to log onto her account (old password) This was a only a one time incident. It was unusual for her to be unsupportive, and use language that was so out of character, especially in a sudden way. She started labelling me as a 'Woman hater' and 'Abuser' whilst opening up around my therapy. Which seemed deeply out of character for anyone. Since then, she has blocked all contact apart from one email address. I've been told repeatedly that my 'Abuse' is unsafe. It's made it really difficult to arrange a time to get things like personal documents like passports, birth certs out of the house. I understand her worry, but not her motives. I've asked if she could hand them over to joint friend etc, she won't. Currently, she has all my essential documents. I can't get her to agree to a time to discuss it with me, whether it's with mediator or other. There are constant labelings of 'Abuser' 'Unsafe'. But no history of violence, no harassment at all. It has also come to light this week that the family therapist had contacted my trauma therapist to support the end of our relationship and the effects of my PTSD. My wife has met with our family therapist without me and stated that I was 'Disassociated' at the time of separation. This personal, clinical appraisal was then fed back into a session in my trauma work. Is this a breach of client confidentiality? And if so, how would you manage the situation? How would you progress re personal belongings? A

Samm10 Abusive, ignorant and cheating husband
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone writing here for the first time really scared. So here it is. I have been married for 3 years and have a beautiful daughter and now i am expecting my second child with my husband. My daughter was born after a year we got married so things... View more

Hi everyone writing here for the first time really scared. So here it is. I have been married for 3 years and have a beautiful daughter and now i am expecting my second child with my husband. My daughter was born after a year we got married so things moved to another level very quickly. Just after she was born we started having these fights over small issues and at that time when I needed him the most he turned his back on me and then I found him cheating on me with two different persons. We moved from an other country so it was difficult living separately after a daughter but that whole 16 months time we were fighting. When I moved over here and found him cheating on me I asked him and he apologised and for the sake of my daughter I forgive him. But things got worse when he started abusing me and physically harming me. He did that twice and the third time he was shouting and throwing things his parents were here and i was expecting so i got scared and worried for my daughter so i called the cops. They threatened him and after that we had no connection. Whenever i try to talk and express something he ignores it or turn that to some issue. Whenever i try to convey my feelings he thinks its stupid and immature so i get no reply. I am trying my best for the sake of my daughter and my unborn but I don’t know where will it lead to. I see him on his phone all the time, working, or going to gym or to his friends but for me the things are zero. I am crying for a long time now and i want to find a solution to this so that this suffering would end. I am extremely depressed and down. This is my fourth month. We got married as we loved each other but now its all gone. The love and the respect. Please help me!

kb1nonly I Feel Like I Am Cursed
  • replies: 2

Hi Everyone, I just turned 30, I have 4 kids (3 boys with Autism and 1 girl), I'm a single mum and I work FT in Insurance. The events over the last 6 months have left me questioning if i believe in curses. Back in December a guy I seen casually left ... View more

Hi Everyone, I just turned 30, I have 4 kids (3 boys with Autism and 1 girl), I'm a single mum and I work FT in Insurance. The events over the last 6 months have left me questioning if i believe in curses. Back in December a guy I seen casually left me physically injured after an assault when he went too far and got way too rough. I had known him for over 10 years and years ago I thought I loved him, but history aside its no excuse so injured and traumatised I went to the police and hospital and ended up with an AVO and he got a good behaviour bond. First i couldnt get out of bed for 2 weeks a mix of physical pain and panic attacks, i returned to work after christmas with only some pain that i just used panadol, neurophen and heat packs for. Then my wrist started aching really bad for days and days at a time. All while my back and shoulder had been aching ever since the start. So I started chiro, it was pricey but gave some relief. Then my jaw started, it ached on both sides, doctors gave me antibiotics. One amazing doctor prescribed medication which solved shoulder, back and wrist pain. Then in April Trigeminal Neuralgia struck, if you google that itll tell you its one of the most painful conditions known to man. Trust me ive had 4 kids and id rather do that over again than live every day this way. Trigeminal Neuralgia can be bought on by trauma. So Ive had more than a month all up off work since March and its not looking good but I have amazing bosses and I feel looked after. Its now May and going to be my 30th Birthday, because of my pain I keep trying to cancel plans with this guy I had been on a bunch of dates with but hes so persistant plus he has a strong pain killer from his knee surgery that might help, plus it wasnt meant to be the whole night just watching a movie or two and eating junk food. He picks me up and we head to his place and while driving he hands me the painkillers. We get there and he made me a hot drink and I had tim tams. Thats all I remember until he woke me up the next morning and he drove me home. I had a couple of explicit flashbacks and I realised I couldnt remember, days later he was arrested and they found photos and videos of things he did to me. The police were amazing and its still ongoing but hes not free. I feel lost, alone and confused, these dont feel like my memories, like its someone elses story. When will I get my happy life??