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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 273

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Kayla_K Workplace Bullying & PTSD
  • replies: 6

I was recently diagnosed with PTSD due to workplace bullying. Over the last 20 years, I have experienced a LOT to the point where I have had one minor nervous breakdown, borderline having a second and now living with anxiety due to my current manager... View more

I was recently diagnosed with PTSD due to workplace bullying. Over the last 20 years, I have experienced a LOT to the point where I have had one minor nervous breakdown, borderline having a second and now living with anxiety due to my current manager & an account manager. I know many will say 'get another job' but that isn't so easy when you're almost 50, have no formal qualifications & I can't sell myself as I no longer have any kind of faith in me. Every morning I sit in my car talking myself into just backing out the drive, then when get there, I have to talk myself out of the car. I know that I am getting to the stage where I need to go as my anxiety is now affecting me on the weekend. Just the thought of going to work makes my stomach churn and the nausea starts. My sleep is shattered most nights with work related dreams. I am already seeing a psychologist through work EAP but that is going to run out shortly & there is no end in sight. I am in a thankless job, spoken to like I am no more than dirt, paid poorly & I do the most work (work admits that there is too much for one person but will no do anything about it). Yes, I am looking for another job but it is going to take time. Yes, I have approached upper management about this & I have no idea what they are doing but it seems like nothing. I am doubting my abilities to the point where I am double and triple checking my work & even more. I make a mistake I will know about it & I will be berated from both the manager and account manager as to how any why I made the mistake, how disappointed they are in me, how peed off the client is, how much money it will cost us/the client etc etc. i am not the only person the manger does this to, but I have the manger and her lap dog at my heels every day. The woman who was in this role before me left after 3 weeks, I have manged to barely survive 10 months. I cry almost every day because I feel like I cannot do anything right. I feel stupid and useless & I am right back emotionally where I was when I was unemployed. I have little enjoyment anymore and the only thing that makes me smile is my little black furry terror of a dog. I want to stop crying but I feel like I am being beaten back down every day. It seems like this will be my 6th year in a row from hell where nothing goes right and the universe is throwing so much negativity at me that I am being crushed under the weight.

Bellarosa Spouse of PTSD sufferer
  • replies: 9

Hi. I'm new to this. Not sure where to start but I've recently separated from my husband who has been diagnosed with PTSD. I tried to support him and get him help but he has resisted. Finally the constant arguments increased to physical abuse and I l... View more

Hi. I'm new to this. Not sure where to start but I've recently separated from my husband who has been diagnosed with PTSD. I tried to support him and get him help but he has resisted. Finally the constant arguments increased to physical abuse and I left for my safety. I feel bad doing this but he also cheated on me and he doesn't understand why I left. I am now feeling extremely lonely and down. Friends have deserted me and my family try to support me. I really don't know what to do and if I did the right thing by leaving him. Worried I've made things worse.

lyracorvus Escaped from past trauma into new trauma...
  • replies: 1

I was kicked out in October, by a mother who's abused me for years. It was mostly psychological abuse with physical only being used as a last resort or a scare tactic when the psychological threats weren't enough. I was hit, cut, battered and bruised... View more

I was kicked out in October, by a mother who's abused me for years. It was mostly psychological abuse with physical only being used as a last resort or a scare tactic when the psychological threats weren't enough. I was hit, cut, battered and bruised, screamed at, isolated, controlled and faced frequent verbal abuse. I have been told that I was a "waste of space", "burden" and much more. My mother works a high-paying government job but frequently complained about me taking a financial toll. I lived in a rotting, decaying house while my mother lived it up in hotel rooms across the country, returning once a fortnight. My father has been out of the picture for many years and is an ice addict, and I once experienced trauma at the hands of his ex-girlfriend, who would lock me in a room for days at a time and force me to eat out of the rubbish. Naturally, I have some pretty big mental health issues associated with this. I'm currently living with the old family-friends I had previously been barred from seeing. However, this living situation is proving itself to be just as inadequate. One of the people I'm living with has chronic pain and thus is extremely temperamental. I am frequently being screamed at about things that have nothing to do with me, or things that are my fault but caused by trauma, and have unfortunately taken on the role of being the household's scapegoat. As someone with C-PTSD, and extremely sensitive fight/flight/freeze responses, this has been pushing me over the edge. My hyper-vigilance is through the roof as I live in the lounge room on a sofa bed. Every sound sends my heart racing and I still flinch when I hear doors open and close. I'm alternating between feeling the need to run away and the need to scream. My sleep is still shitty- it's about three hours of nightmare-plagued hell. How can I tell my body that it's safe, and that it can calm down, when it's not safe? Not entirely, anyway? I don't know what to do, or where to go. I'm in Year 12 and I don't want to change schools... I don't have the means to support myself financially and I'm sick of burdening others. I can't get Centrelink because my mother refused to sign the forms the last time I spoke with her (which was months ago) and if I submit it without her knowledge, I'm scared of what she'll do to me. And I am NOT going to the police. Advice on how to deal with this?

Scarlett86 My husband has a 20 yr ice addiction and I don't know what to do
  • replies: 2

I have 1 child previous marriage had psychological abuse. fast forward, I met another man in 2014 who ended up assaulting me , charged with aggravated assault charges occasioning bodily harm. I left him, got counselling, got myself together again and... View more

I have 1 child previous marriage had psychological abuse. fast forward, I met another man in 2014 who ended up assaulting me , charged with aggravated assault charges occasioning bodily harm. I left him, got counselling, got myself together again and in 2016 met a man now married dec 2017 who I thought had his own life. I knew he struggled a little with stress but didn't know what i was getting into until it was too late. 5x he has told me I don't want to be with you and he went missing for days does meth & cheats on me with porn (as I have had trauma from pornography he and I agreed this was cheating from day 1) his past relationships he cheated on them with other women & prostitutes when he was high. he maintains throughout our 2.5 year relationship (1.4yrs of that we have been married) that he's never physically cheated in me. I am not too sure of it, hes adamant about it. currently he just got told, he may have autism & is being tested for it & ADHD. his whole life was a struggle with inibilties. I do love him but I cannot get past how betrayed I feel after he went missing for days to do drugs and porn God knows what else as I will obviously never know.He's promised multiple times he will never do it again but when he can't handle things that is is escapism. We have seen a psychiatrist and my husband is keen on eradicating his 20 year old drug addiction but it's been there so long I don't know how he can do it especially if he has inibilties to begin with. He is a good man off the drugs but does have sociopathic and narcissistic traits and his behaviour when he's high is disgusting. My child is never around when this happens nor does anyone else know about it his family never helped. they knew.I do love him but I have doubts about trusting him&1 day a normal life without drugs.hes always been employed & u wouldn't know he is an addict, he hides well. I many times before I've helped him, he takes advantage, does drugs , comes back apoligises then we are back there again in 3-4 months. My child is not in danger nor am. how do i trust him as he was a serial cheater. I need to feel me again I feel i filled his cup up too many times and now I am empty. I help him with his appointments and I take care of my child, it's hard to leave when you love someone I didn't love the others, I've only ever had 3 relationships my entire life I don't want a 2nd divorce but I am also sad all the time.

Elizabeth CP 4 year old grandaughter recently traumatised by fire. Advice wanted to help her family support her.
  • replies: 7

My Son lives overseas with his family. A few days ago he found his daughter in the kitchen with a burning tea towel on the floor & his daughter screaming too petrified to move. He put the fire out & tried to comfort his daughter. She was so badly tra... View more

My Son lives overseas with his family. A few days ago he found his daughter in the kitchen with a burning tea towel on the floor & his daughter screaming too petrified to move. He put the fire out & tried to comfort his daughter. She was so badly traumatised she can't talk about what happened so noone knows what caused the fire. She was convinced the house would burn down so couldn't sleep in her own bed but had to remain with her parents. Hearing this triggered very bad memories for me with a similar incident when a spark from an open fire place set fire to a favourite piece of clothing. I was about 4 at the time & had to throw the burning item into the fire to avoid setting the house on fire. I was left with an intense fear of fire which escalated when I was caught in a bushfire which destroyed our home. Remembering the fear of fire I had as a child from that first event makes me want to help my son help his daughter deal better than I did with the trauma to avoid the long term consequences. While I want to help I don't know what would help & would welcome any suggestions

Glennyboy Doctors, trust and PTSD
  • replies: 2

I am finding it really hard to trust doctors and medical staff. They are "over" working with people who have mental conditions and their "tough love" approach and the way they talk about me, rather than to me really makes me angry like they think the... View more

I am finding it really hard to trust doctors and medical staff. They are "over" working with people who have mental conditions and their "tough love" approach and the way they talk about me, rather than to me really makes me angry like they think their big words are too hard for idiots to understand. They are mostly angry and constantly serious and if you try to insert humor to lighten the mood they look at me like I am from another planet. I don't like the view they have of themselves and they think they are so much better than everyone else. I feel totally hopeless and the feeling of doom never goes away. I feel like I will never find love, a home or peace. Instead all I have is constant and total isolation from anyone other than them, fear and and total misunderstanding from others

mama-bear PTSD - SEXUAL ABUSE OF MY DAUGHTER
  • replies: 5

Hi this is my first time here, need a bit of help - my daughter was sexually assaulted over an 18 month period by somebody who was a mentor to her - someone who had been in my house as an equal..It started when my daughter was 15 and ended at 17, the... View more

Hi this is my first time here, need a bit of help - my daughter was sexually assaulted over an 18 month period by somebody who was a mentor to her - someone who had been in my house as an equal..It started when my daughter was 15 and ended at 17, the offender has been prosecuted (piss ant term given) and im only now starting to deal with it a year on..Im devastated, im triggered, im angry - i saw a psych who was not qualified to deal with my anger and frustration - thank god i found a psych for my daughter who is amazing but for conflict of interest reasons im not seeing her - ive now booked in to see her colleague, but everyday im in tears feeling like my world has crumbled - i see my daughter struggle everyday and it compounds my feelings, is this normal????

Ferrero80 Possible PTSD? Nightmare help
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I am new on here. Unfortunately I have been struggling with a recent traumatic event and I am seeking some coping strategies. On Christmas Eve my stepmother committed suicide at our family home and she was found Christmas morning (I am a... View more

Hi everyone, I am new on here. Unfortunately I have been struggling with a recent traumatic event and I am seeking some coping strategies. On Christmas Eve my stepmother committed suicide at our family home and she was found Christmas morning (I am an adult and do not live at the home but grew up here and was present on Christmas morning). My father, brother and I have been spending time together and I have found this to be helpful. The death was very sudden and unexpected and I would not have expected her to take this action. It has now been almost two months since her death and I am finding it incredibly difficult to sleep. I would say I think about the event and have visual images of it at least every hour of the day. At night I find it difficult to stop thinking about it while I am trying to sleep, even when I try and imagine other things. I usually have a normal wake/sleep routine but am struggling to fall asleep. Often I am close to sleep but then get a shock of anxiety, sort of like a feeling like I am falling and my stomach drops. This happens over and over and often it takes me several hours before I sleep. I try to get up and sit in a dark room for a while so I am not just lying in bed restless. When I do sleep, I have vivid nightmares of people breaking into my apartment and committing suicide in front of me and I cannot stop them and I wake sweating and panicked. I am feeling a lot of anxiety during the day. When I was younger I suffered from depression and engaged in some self-harm behaviors. I do not drink alcohol regularly or take any drugs. My regular doctor is on holidays at the moment and I intend on making an appointment when he returns. Has anyone got any any advice on how to assist with the sleeping, as well as reducing the nightmares and anxiety? Thank you in advance for your support.

FinallyFree Narcissistic Abuse - Finally Free!
  • replies: 47

I can't believe I am free. I was with my ex-fiance for 8 years and suffered at the hands of his cruel torments, naming, shaming and blaming. I forgot who I was for a long time. It wasn't until I was humiliated in public so harshly that I decided enou... View more

I can't believe I am free. I was with my ex-fiance for 8 years and suffered at the hands of his cruel torments, naming, shaming and blaming. I forgot who I was for a long time. It wasn't until I was humiliated in public so harshly that I decided enough was enough. As a child, growing up I came from a broken home. I was lucky to have my Dad and Stepmum who loved and supported me. My mother was cruel, manipulative and destructive... but she sucked me in. It was during my early twenties and living with my mother that I realised I needed out and it was then that I met my ex-fiance. He was charming, nice, complimented me and made me feel special. This was the first alarming sign I should have seen.. but I was so wrapped up in the honeymoon period I didn't listen to my "gut". Once we moved in together, the abuse began. He would tell me that my family never loved me, that he was the only one who could look after me, nurture me etc. He told me I was dumb, stupid, worthless and nothing without him. He controlled what I wore, who I saw, where I went. I started losing my self confidence and my ability to converse with others. I was terrified to talk to other people or accept invitations because he would harass me, text me all night or ask people to "look out for me". I felt like I was constantly watched. 3 years later I left him... but I wasn't strong enough. I cried for weeks and felt more alone than ever. I took him back and endured another 5 years of hell. This time round, he didn't control who I talked to or saw.. but he diminished my existence and self worth. He used violence and blackmail to get what he wanted. He threatened to hurt my family, friends and co-workers. Work was my only sanctuary. After getting engaged, I realised I couldn't marry him. The proposal wasn't romantic at all, it felt as though it was an effort on his behalf to make me stay. He stopped listening to me and dictated every part of my life. The public humiliation was the last straw.. so I left for work... returned home after he had left and grabbed the clothes on my back. I drove for 2 days and back in the care of my family.. I am free! I have inner peace and after extensive research on narcissistic abuse I realise how much of a fool I was... how he sucked me in. My aim on here is to talk to others about it. The more we talk about it.. the less control the abuser has. I hope my story gives others inspiration to leave.. it was the best thing I have ever done!

MissMonty I'm a newbie here.
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone. I'm new to the site and am hoping I will find some support here. Recently my husband and I were made aware that our 12 year old daughter had been sexually assaulted by her older cousin. The abuse has been happening for two years, slowly ... View more

Hi everyone. I'm new to the site and am hoping I will find some support here. Recently my husband and I were made aware that our 12 year old daughter had been sexually assaulted by her older cousin. The abuse has been happening for two years, slowly getting more invasive and dominant. We have all been in intense therapy since which has been good however I am struggling so much. It's my husband's side of the family and it has caused an enormous fracture. Of course, we have been pushed out for speaking up. I feel as though I'm having a breakdown. I'm already medicated for anxiety. I just don't kniw how to handle my feelings.