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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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SandyO PTSD - using new DV rental legislation and anxiety
  • replies: 2

Hi Guys looking for some practical supportive help. I have severe PTSD having been in a physically and mentally abusive relationship for 10 years (2 years out) I left after a number of severe physical altercations almost cost my life. thanks to the s... View more

Hi Guys looking for some practical supportive help. I have severe PTSD having been in a physically and mentally abusive relationship for 10 years (2 years out) I left after a number of severe physical altercations almost cost my life. thanks to the support of friends and my therapist I have relied on the new Dv legislation to move out of the place I have rented for 5 years as my ex keeps causing issues. I didn’t feel strong enough to move but my therapist and I agreed it would be the most positive thing for me. My problem is this. I move in 3 weeks time however the landlord in that time wants to come in so she can see what she needs to be done and has started giving my number to tradespeople. My anxiety having strange people in the house is overwhelming and I find I am triggered in certain circumstances. I kind of want to help the landlord out and be obliging but the stress associated is awful and I’m worried if I’m difficult that they will find any reason to withhold my 3k bond which I could really do with. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not. If I should just oblige and get on with it. The landlord herself wants to turn up at 6pm in the evening which I find stressful as I now work almost full time. My history dictates a necessity to clean almost obsessively and to be honest I’m exhausted, my home is full wit half packed boxes and the thought of having anyone here is overwhelming. thanks in advance for listening and posting any tips or advice that you can think of

Missaries New member female 30s and in women s shelter
  • replies: 9

I suffer from ptsd chronic pain ibs and sensoneural hearing loss and tonic tensor tympani syndrome. Sound problem. these prevent me from socialising singing talking loud laughing loud I noticed beign with my ex has made self image issues so bad but b... View more

I suffer from ptsd chronic pain ibs and sensoneural hearing loss and tonic tensor tympani syndrome. Sound problem. these prevent me from socialising singing talking loud laughing loud I noticed beign with my ex has made self image issues so bad but being eith him I always felt emotionally controlled there was a lot bad things in the relationship next week is gonna be so hard more appointments this is a 4 year ordeal now and I have no family or friends I feel comfortable sharing with. im in bed right now I have $9 for next 6 days better than nothing and I live with women and I don’t want total,to them anymore I feel they are emotionally draining and I just can’t be myself around them, I don’t know how to do this so I am just going to pretend I’m always on the fone but I feel guilty. i thought making friends would help but it seems not with my healtissues. hope to hear form people here and keep me motivated to have faith. I also want to mention I met a new guy but I think he ended it

Leone39 Reaching Out...
  • replies: 2

Hello there, this is my first time in ever reaching out for advice or people who may have experienced similar problems in there life. So to begin i'm 26 years old and as far back as I can remember I've struggled with some kind of Stress/Anxiety/Depre... View more

Hello there, this is my first time in ever reaching out for advice or people who may have experienced similar problems in there life. So to begin i'm 26 years old and as far back as I can remember I've struggled with some kind of Stress/Anxiety/Depression although I've never been diagnosed for any of these conditions due to troubles with GP's and any kind of referrals for mental health I've had that i will touch upon. I mainly go through fazes of the 3 issues I have mentioned sometimes like lately they affect my day to day life such as not being able to eat or enjoy time off from work and etc, this can go on for weeks at a time were I feel a constant dread in my stomach which has made me sick on occasion by not being able to stomach foods or drink. This can easily be triggered for me by work, even the most minute things cause this (I.E maybe I felt I didn't smile at a customer enough) and I can go home in terrible bouts of anxiety to the point of shaking sometimes. The majority of my stress is work related, I have this deep rooted fear of being fired although I have worked for my current employer for 5 years and truly I know this isn't a likely scenario but the stress for me is uncontrollable. I suffered this stress all throughout my schooling life too and I was always a constant victim of extreme physical and psychological bullying which I don't think I've ever fully overcome, touching upon receiving mental help I know that would be the first thing anyone is going to tell me to do I have this feeling of it not being the answer as during my tenure at school I was sent to 2 different physiologists/counselor who were both considered of high degree. The first was early in my high schooling and she told me that "the boys who are doing this to you come from broken homes so its not there fault they do what has been done to them'' which never quite sat with me right, it always made me feel as this was all my fault. The second physiologist/counselor who i saw near the end of high school after an incident were I was followed home by the same boys I had dealt with for 5 years assaulted me to the point of being hospitalized, fearing to leave my house for weeks after this incident she only ever spoke of her sons happy life, every session told me how happy he was? I never understood this maybe she thought this would help me? In my 26 years I've lived in constant fear only on brief occasions have I ever spoke out about this, maybe someone can share some advice?

Aweekes Looking for out of home care survivors
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am a 38 yr old woman and I want to find people who grew up in care. Where you removed from your family by D.O.C.S. I can't speak for other people but I know my years in foster care where traumatic,harrowing and lonely. I lived through numerous ... View more

Hi, I am a 38 yr old woman and I want to find people who grew up in care. Where you removed from your family by D.O.C.S. I can't speak for other people but I know my years in foster care where traumatic,harrowing and lonely. I lived through numerous abuses and then at 18 it was see ya, the department gave a small amount of help but for the most part I was all alone. Do you have something to share or even a compassionate ear to listen to your story. Please post and share what you experienced,good or bad.

Slipperyfish Dissociation - does it happen to anyone else?
  • replies: 9

Hi i suffer from PTSD due to extended period of assaults. I’m in therapy dealing with it all but lately my memory has been terrible. I know I dissociate, but I’m not sure how to fix it. After I exercise I find it happens more, along with if I smell s... View more

Hi i suffer from PTSD due to extended period of assaults. I’m in therapy dealing with it all but lately my memory has been terrible. I know I dissociate, but I’m not sure how to fix it. After I exercise I find it happens more, along with if I smell someone that really needs deodorant. And I honestly thought my memory was just terrible. But now it’s effecting my life, my job, my wellbeing my everything. I keep losing chunks of the day. Or I tell the same story over and over because I honestly don’t remember telling it in the first place. I’m just reaching out to see if it’s happening to others and also how you deal with it. I just feel like I’m loosing my marbles

Nat777 New- trouble leaving a domestically violent relationship
  • replies: 3

Hi, I recently left my bf, I felt it was verging on DV. Things moved very fast and after only a couple weeks I was spending every night with him. He asked me to move in. He had a list of things that were my job in the relationship- breakfast and dinn... View more

Hi, I recently left my bf, I felt it was verging on DV. Things moved very fast and after only a couple weeks I was spending every night with him. He asked me to move in. He had a list of things that were my job in the relationship- breakfast and dinner every day, sex and general house keeping. I didn’t really like this but I wanted it to work. He asked me how many men I had slept with. I lied. It’s not something I wanted to share. Things turned sour. He became obsessed with knowing the truth. He would question me repeatedly- to try to catch me out. When my story didn’t match, he threatened to end the relationship. He made up stories that he heard I’d slept around and did drugs-to see if I’d admit to sleeping with more guys. We had a cycle. It would go well for a couple weeks. Then he’d bring up me lying and we’d argue. He starting to go through my phone and read my messages. He drank every night (bottle of vodka), he’d swear at me and call me names. He would apologise and then treat me like a queen the next day. He would belittle me, threatened to cheat on me if I didn’t spend every night with him or if I didn’t have sex with him every day he’d find someone else who would. I was starting to feel that I was never good enough. I ended up leaving after he kicked me off the couch and I fell on the floor because I wouldn’t let him go through my phone. I moved out the next day. I msgd his ex gf who said he was abusive and manipulative- it didn’t end well. After I left he was apologetic. He admitted to being at fault. He sweet talked me. I thought I overacted. He did lots of kind things for me. I saw a psychologist (I’ve had 2 sessions). He told me to be careful of him. That his behaviour is that of a sociopath, what he was DV- emotional abuse. Even though I was told this I couldn’t let go. I felt guilty for moving out. I continued to msg him and then going on dates again. I continued to see him (2 weeks now). I thought him quitting drinking he’d change. He told me tonight that he is done and doesn’t see a future with me anymore. I feel he has manipulated me. He couldn’t handle I left him so for him to be back in control he won me back just to end it. I feel insecure and have low self-confidence. I don’t know why I’m crying and still want to be with him? I’m trying to figure out if our relationship was real, if he genuinely had/ has feelings for me or if it was all about controlling me? I feel as if I’ve made this into a big deal.

Kuan Feeling depressed, lonely and unsuccessful
  • replies: 3

Hi all, Hope you all are well! I am Kuan. I moved to Victoria 8 years ago. I am feeling really useless and unsuccessful in comparison to my peers. I was made redundant 3 months ago and I don't know which direction I should go and stick with. I feel v... View more

Hi all, Hope you all are well! I am Kuan. I moved to Victoria 8 years ago. I am feeling really useless and unsuccessful in comparison to my peers. I was made redundant 3 months ago and I don't know which direction I should go and stick with. I feel very lonely and depressed all of a sudden and normally it isnt this bad given my current circumstances. To be honest, I feel like I survived life because I have always been really lucky in terms of being born into a high-income family. However, I have never been happy when I was growing up. I knew I was gay when I was 4 and felt I was somehow different from other kids my age. I suffered from dysthymia and anxiety because I was severely bullied from Grade 1 till I graduated from high-school and by my family too. I never had a real friend when I was a child. My social circle consisted of rich people's kids, arrogant and rude. When I was 13, I was sexually abused by a classmate until I was 15/16. I never told anyone in my family. I wished that my life would end at 17. It didn't because I thought to myself that i could make it. That one day, I will be loved. So i decided to study abroad, hoping that I could meet a guy who would love me. I met a guy who turned out to be a cheater and discovered he was having sex with another guy. I kept all of these in me for years while I pretended I was okay while I was with him. I was too afraid to lose him so I let him abuse me over and over again until a friend of his encouraged me to leave him. I did.. but i never felt better. I met all these friends who ended up finding ways to hurt me and they were actually happy that I was hurt. That just kept reinforcing my perspective of people. Now even I have a wonderful boyfriend, I still can't wipe my past away. Why? because I feel so useless in my life. I told myself I could surpass them and I could be happier. But I keep failing.. and recently I am diagnosed with ADD which explains so much of my behaviours and my sensitivity towards my surroundings. But usually people are diagnosed when they were younger. I feel like i've lost so much time that I can never make it in life and my experience with people are not helping at all. I've been seeing a psychologist but because I lost my job I really dont know how long I can see her for. I don't know anyone else who are like me. I can't connect with me. I feel skeptical about people and I feel maybe this time I won't make it, that finally I have no more energy. I just feel hopeless.

Xara Feeling Out of Control
  • replies: 1

I'm not officially diagnosed with PTSD - but when i was younger i was forced to do things i didn't want to do and had this repeated at 18 - having it happen once is bad enough but twice! The thing that really tipped me over the edge was having a work... View more

I'm not officially diagnosed with PTSD - but when i was younger i was forced to do things i didn't want to do and had this repeated at 18 - having it happen once is bad enough but twice! The thing that really tipped me over the edge was having a work college invade my personal space. Its messed with my head and my life along with my mom's accident and trauma from her loss of limb all at once, was like a smack in the face. Im constantly tired and exhausted, finding a reason to function is hard but i find a way. As should any of you when you are in as down as a situation as mine just keep fighting hopefully one day we will see the reason its all worth it in the end.

b_abbey Struggling with my family --- (trigger child sexual abuse history)
  • replies: 4

Hi there Lately I have been very upset at my family because they no longer believe I was sexually abused when I was 9-12. Initially they believed me but because my abuser is a doctor and he has told them about the "creation of false memories" and how... View more

Hi there Lately I have been very upset at my family because they no longer believe I was sexually abused when I was 9-12. Initially they believed me but because my abuser is a doctor and he has told them about the "creation of false memories" and how my alcohol problems has likely affected my pre-frontal cortex = I should not be believed. This is a load of bull as I clearly remember the abuse and have never forgot it. I do drink too much, but not daily, and my liver enzymes are not elevated, to help create the picture. Anyway, just being in their presence - regarding my mum & dad - triggers me, and makes me feel angry and I want to abandon them - but I love them. It just feels so toxic and I feel lost. I really does hurt that he has the ability to change their mind, it's like he has abused me all over again. I am a professional too, but because I am not a doctor - I rank further down the line, in my parents eyes. In actual fact - I think they don't want to believe he did this (he has been accused by others too), and they do admit that they don't want to believe. Thanks for listening. If anyone has any advice I'd be very thankful!

DontBlink182 An open introduction - I'm an open book after all.
  • replies: 1

Hey there all, I will start with a bit of traumatic history, I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse that lasted about 8 years. I was raped by my first two serious boyfriends in my teen years. I thought I had finally found a decent guy with my ex-h... View more

Hey there all, I will start with a bit of traumatic history, I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse that lasted about 8 years. I was raped by my first two serious boyfriends in my teen years. I thought I had finally found a decent guy with my ex-husband, but it quickly turned ugly 6 months into it. He began manipulating me, psychologically, emotionally and mentally abusing it - triggering flashbacks and making me feel absolute putrid claiming "I liked being abused - every minute of it". I ended up breaking free of him but only after agreeing to leave our daughter with him (rather than being homeless with a toddler) - he still has her and won't let me see her, she's now 11. I was homeless for 3 years, turned to alcohol for comfort. I couch-surfed, barely held grips with my reality, went out clubbing every weekend - then I got pregnant off a one night stand... oops. I was still homeless at that point. My mother took me back in (my ex was living with her til 2 months prior - yea don't get me started on the fact I was homeless and he wasn't) at 8 months pregnant, by which point I met my current partner. Was originally diagnosed with depression in 2008, and the Doc said I was most likely suffering since I was 11 (when I learned I was being abused). Knew I had it by then, but refused medication as I just had a baby and was breastfeeding. Got diagnosed again in 2015 and she claimed I had "Chronic Depression and Severe PTSD" and I am now on antidepressant medication which works for the most part. Up until today I hadn't known about Complex PTSD but it seems to fit my symptoms and trauma more. Is there such thing as having a double form of PTSD? I haven't had the best trot, and occassionally my partner reminds me of my ex which triggers flashbacks - had a full blown attack last night, the worst in a long time. I so tired of being tired and unmotivated. I have 3 daughters now, my ex still has my oldest as I mentioned, and I have my 7 year old with ASD and my 5 year old with Down Syndrome. They can be great, but draining to look after. Anyways, that's my god-awful story. Look forward to meeting some people. PS. Call me Emjay!

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