we can address childhood trauma

[SuanKim]

Hi new to forum, believe in sharing will work if it's good two way communication.

OK agree with what Julia Gillard suggested, but individual must be prepared to work through past issues/childhood trauma so learn to

make a choice-stop being/playing the victim of dysfunctional families, abusive parents (verbal, physical, sexual, emotional abuse). Work

with good professionals, friends, people who care and can share victories to leave past, start new chapter, better still a new book, just

yours only, not all that ugly horrible family stuff. Believe you can do it and you will find resilence, strength to do it. Give it a go, go at it again.

Well done you!

[Alexlisa]

Hello SuanKim,

Welcome to the forums. Thanks for your insights, it’s good that you’ve been able to get to this place and I’m sure it’s taken lots of hard work.

We need to be careful not to put everyone in the same box though. Childhood trauma and recovery are complex issues and different for everyone. I know for myself, facing my own trauma is a really tough and ongoing process with lots of ups and downs. I’m very lucky at the moment to have support from a good psychologist and the ability to take the time I need to work on it. But it hasn’t always been the case and isn’t for everyone. Just surviving life can been hard enough to focus on most of the time, so having the great reserves needed to work towards recovery isn’t always available. Nor the money/access to support, sadly.

Trauma is different for everyone, how they deal with it, coping styles, personality, the people involved, levels of support available, education, money, current living/family situation... There are lots and lots of variables that influence someone’s ability to move forward through recovery.

I know for me, I’m still suffering the effects everyday, but I’m not choosing to be/play ‘victim’. I’m doing my best to get by, but even if I’m not and sometimes I tumble backwards, it doesn’t mean that I’m choosing to keep suffering.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to find a positive way forward and I wish that I and lots of other people could too. I see those around me struggle with this everyday and hope that we may all find peace.

Take care

Alexlisa

[bluehorseshoes]

Hi SuanKim and Alexlisa,

This is a very interesting topic and also very complex one.

SuanKim, It’s great to see you’ve been able to access your inner resources of resilience and push through. Perspectives like yours are an inspiration for others and motivation.

Alexlisa I know what you mean. Serious trauma in childhood is hard because it effects how we’re wired for the future. The borderline personality disorder and anxiety that I developed to cope with the abuse has only now been realised, and I’ve come to view it with acceptance. Similarly to what you say about not playing the victim but progressing, I don’t look at it with regret, I’m sad for that child that I was but I can’t change it. It’s reality and accepting it, and how I am now, helps me to cope and improve. Thank you for sharing.
Bluey

[Guest5643]

Thankyou Alexlisa i agree with every word you've said

[White_Rose]

Great posts from everyone. It is a difficult topic and it's hard when there are little or no resources to help. Sometimes the childhood trauma takes away support for the adult who then becomes lost in the memories and confused about what to do. Sadly the past cannot be changed. All we can do is see it for what it was, look at what we can learn then start moving forward.

Sounds simple but it can be very hard to do on your own. I think this is why so many people choose to post on beyondblue asking for help. Some may sound as though they want to be a victim but it's part of the fear of change. I have said before, sometimes we stay in our own little pigsty because we know it so well. Leaving can be frightening and and finding a new 'home' can often seem impossible. I have every admiration for those who make the journey.

Thank you SuanKim. I think this is one topic we need to talk about including accepting everyone on their own terms. Hopefully they will see how much better their lives can be with some work, understand how the past has affected them and make changes to move into the future.

I am so pleased SuanKim that you are making gains on your journey and feeling well. Many congratulations. Life is so much better when we can trust ourselves and others.

Mary