Stuck in a trigger. Tips for making it stop

[dreamer28]

Sorry if this post isn’t in the correct forum.

Long story short I’ve left my home (where I was raised) in busy Sydney for a week to visit my partners family in regional NSW. I’ve felt triggered since being here, I believe it’s from a period my early 20s post break up with a guy from a smaller town like the one that I am currently in. This was 12 years ago but traumatic, I was heartbroken, ended up living alone, isolated, abandoned (and I have childhood abandonment issues), lonely and had nowhere to go as going back to Sydney at the time was a worse option (because my family is out of control) than suffering alone in an unfamiliar place. My issue is.. I cannot shake it off.. I’m in my 30s, have an 18 month old, I’ve tried talking to myself about who and where I am RIGHT NOW but I still feel sick! I am currently also a little sick anyway but I feel mentally sick.

I’m looking for some advice or techniques or tools that you’ve used or gotten from a psychologist for getting out of a trigger. Unfortunately most of my triggers make me angry and so I’ve worked on THAT, not this type where I feel SICK. I also find that self guided art therapy works for me so also open to anything a little alternative.

thank you!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️

[quirkywords]

Welcome dreamer,

This is the right place and this is a friendly forum.

Triggers are very hard and sometimes more we try to ignore it the harder it is.

You say art therapy works, is it possible to some sketching. Sorry I don’t know much about art therapy.
This any found weird but when I feel triggered I do my knitting and it distracts and calms me.

I also find writing down how I am feeling helps

other times I accept this is how I feel and reassure myself I will be ok,

It is hard and I wonder how you have coped in the past.

[james1]

Hey dreamer28,

Thanks for your post. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling stuck in a trigger and some of the things you've tried aren't working.

As quirkywords mentioned, sometimes they are really hard to escape. My methods are generally, in order of what I try, grounding techniques, then distractions, then I just kind of let things happen and ride it out. I try to remember that it's all temporary anyway, and I've always made it through whatever bad thing is happening. You mentioned you're there for a week. It may feel like a really long time while you're there, and it will probably be tough, but there is a time limit and you will be home at the end.

Have you had a chance to do much art therapy while there?

James

[The_Bro]

Hi there Dreamer28 and thanks so much for making the effort to post on our forum.

I went through a period a few years ago where I lost confidence and self respect. It became very pervasive - the more I tried to ignore it, the worse it became. In your words they were 'triggers'.

I found that joining a couple of groups with activities that I enjoyed (in this case it happened to be sporting) was the key to unlocking my doldrums. I was congratulated when I did well, and also encouraged when not doing so well. The group gave lots of encouragement all the time which made me feel great. Next thing it was me doing the congratulating to others. They say nothing makes you feel better than giving others genuine praise!

So my suggestion would be to find a club, group or community organisation with activities you can enjoy. By all means share how you feel with them but don't go overboard with that. Chances are you will rise to the challenge and interest, and your self belief and respect will return. The hardest part will be reaching out and making the effort to find that group that is right for you - it may take a couple of goes.

I hope this helps and realise it sounds a bit too easy, but to learn and achieve something new can be a great healer!

Very happy to chat further any time - all the very best to you to banish those triggers!

Regards, The Bro.