Struggling with effects of childhood sexual abuse on adulthood.

[Swan23]

Hello,

I'm new here.

I don't really know how to start. I grew up in what I thought was a loving family. Mum and dad fought constantly I hated it and it scared me. From early age dad sexually abused me. I grew up very scared and confused and constantly on edge and would space out all the time - like my mind would leave and I would'nt see hear or feel anything only scenes in my mind. I still experience the on edge and space out stuff. Mum approached me around age 10 asking if anything had happened to me. At the time I couldn't think and everything was so fuzzy so I said I didn't know. To which she replied with if anything did happen you would know it. Now in my 20s. A lot has come back to me and it is really crippling. Only really told one very close friend. I feel so alone and scared. And just generally don't know how to deal with it all. More recently I had my first boyfriend of 18 months brake up with me. It's been a super rough road. Over the years there's periods where I feel like a normal human being and nothing seems to bother me. And then from time to time (more commonly recently). it's all very overwhelming and I can't seem to function normally and space out all the time. Scream at ridiculous things. But it feels so real and I find myself crying about it. Will it ever stop.

I know I need help but don't know where to start and too scared to talk to anyone about it face to face or even over phone...

[Sophie_M]

Hi Swan23,

Thank you so much for reaching out to our community today, we know that it is not an easy thing to do. We are so sorry to hear what you've been going through, it sounds like it's a really overwhelming and difficult time for you right now. But please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to express your thoughts and feelings, and our wonderful community is here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need. We're also currently getting in touch with you via email to provide you with some more support.

We'd encourage you to keep checking back in with us to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.  

[Swan23]

Thank you! Trying to just take one day at a time.

[Rumples]

Hi Swan23,

You've come to the right place. Beyond Blue is awash with beautiful, kind hearted people looking to help others just like you, welcome to the family :0)

Please take as much time to reach out and chat with us. We'd love to talk to you and help you through this trying time in your life.

We're all here for you.

Rumples (BUG hug) xoxo