Struggling-sue my own mother? why didn't anyone protect me? *Trigger Warning, Domestic Violence and Child Abuse*

[Thermodynamic_Entropy]

I was brought up under extremely physical abusive, neglectful and emotionally abusive circumstances as a young child. Until my adult years, I lived with her and she continued to emotionally abuse me-she still does when she gets the chance. I have some questions for the Australia police and whoever was supposed to be looking after children. My mother LITERALLY ran a car into me. I reported all the physical abuse as a child. WHY WAS I LEFT WITH HER STILL? I can't understand it! I incidentally recorded a few videos as a teenager-whenever she would intrude on one of my body checks (I have severe eating disorders ,did I mention my teeth and skin are entirely ruined from bulimia and weight change).

Even the mildest forms of emotional abuse upon reflection were absurd and this was a constant that I grew up with aside from the drug/alcoholism and physical abuse. I would say something quite clearly such as, "I didn't want to hurt my back", and she would say, "You haven't hurt your back you liar, you bitch..!"...etc. etc. Oh not to mention, it seems I have a criminal record..or something? My wonderful mother used to call the police on me I think for payback for the few times I did it to her. You know..that time you were smashing down my door with hammer? I didn't even call them during some of the most serious physical assaults. How could, whatever party was responsible for looking after Australian children, leave me in her care?

My father is a GP. However, he was severely beaten as a kid, which probably explains why he was attracted to such a shit stain as my mother. He didn't want to interfere with because his mum was lovely-it was his dad. My dad might be a GP but he is emotionally stunted, I'm really sorry. Unfortunately GPs earn way too much respect. Whomever's responsibility it was to make sure I got into a safe home clearly thought "Oh fabulous, your father is a GP-she'll be fine".....so why was I being abused? It is possible that, JUST MAYBE, dad unfortunately doesn't want to interfere? Dad is one of those people who says stuff is fine when it isn't-particularly with matters of his own. So when he said, "I'll look after her" or whatever he said to reassure the hospital, he meant "I'll look after her for a week then give her back to her mother where she belongs, she was just crazy and kept the baby".

[PamelaR]

Hello TE

My heart goes out to you. I had a hard life growing up but nothing compared to your situation. It's so good you've found your way to Beyond Blue (BB) forums. Welcome!

People who respond are friendly, caring, supportive and respective of privacy. I'm not a counsellor or therapist, though I have experience with PTSD, anxiety and depression.

Living with a parent that is emotionally, physically and psychologically abusive is dreadful. I grew up in a household that was similar, though my father was still there and there was no alcohol or drug misuse. My father chose to work 2 jobs and was never home. Or when he was it was just constant fighting between them.

So yes, you have a right to ask where were the police when this was happening. There is so much for the Forgotten Children and the Children Abused in State Care, but what about children abused in their own homes.

I don't know your age. I'm in my mid 60s and when I was a child, Human Services and Police Services were not like they are today. Things are slowly changing. And I have to confess that I'm pleased I was not removed from my family home when I was a child because I love my siblings and my dad. Also my mum must have brought me up well. I'm a good person, so she did a well by me in some things.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say (though very long winded sorry), is that you seem extremely articulate and knowledgeable. What were some of the good things about your growing up?

Please get back to us to chat some more if you want.

Kind regards

PamelaR

P.S. I tried deciphering your posting name and relate it to your post. It was a bit beyond me. Sorry 🙂

[Summer Rose]

Hi Thermodynamic Entrophy

Welcome to the bb forums. I want to congratulate you for sharing your feelings and experiences with such raw honesty. I can't imagine that it was easy for you but I hope that it helped you to let it all out.

I imagine that you have also helped a lot of other people, too. For me, you have provided a powerful reminder that none of us really knows "what goes on behind closed doors" and we must all be vigilant in the face of warning signs of abuse. Thank you.

I am sorry that you suffered so terribly and that no one came to your rescue as a child. We are here now. I want you to know that you matter and that you have been heard on this forum.

None of us can change or escape our past. We just have to find a way forward, one step at a time. I truly hope that posting here is a stepping stone for you.

I encourage you to keep posting. Tell us as much or as little as you want, for as long as it helps you. There are many people here, including me, who are ready and willing to listen.

Kind thoughts to you