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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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cbell PTSD- Newbie
  • replies: 3

I just wrote my story but kept saying I was over the word limit. I have joined the site and would love to find other positive inteligentt support. Looking for growth not to wallow. I have been listening to Erkhart Tolle . It may help others? Often sa... View more

I just wrote my story but kept saying I was over the word limit. I have joined the site and would love to find other positive inteligentt support. Looking for growth not to wallow. I have been listening to Erkhart Tolle . It may help others? Often sad and alone.

Kyle159 Sexual assult and trauma
  • replies: 2

When I was 17 I was sexually assulted by a person that I knew and I gave up my housing because of it and I was in and out of youth refuges for two or more years I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD and some other illnesses, A couple years on and I am still ... View more

When I was 17 I was sexually assulted by a person that I knew and I gave up my housing because of it and I was in and out of youth refuges for two or more years I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD and some other illnesses, A couple years on and I am still trying to live through the trauma I struggle trying to sleep because of the nightmares and the flashbacks I struggle to keep taking my medication because I think that the medication only makes matters worst I’d rather stay inside all day then to go out and socialise with my family and I really struggle with trying to keep a relationship but I haven’t given up even know some days are worst than others I’m still here and I’m still trying to work though my struggles with my trauma

rhinoceros My girlfriend is verbally and emotionally abusive to me when things go wrong for her
  • replies: 11

I have been in this relationship for two years now but I'm starting to think that it's having a detrimental effect on my own health and well-being. While the intimacy issues are not a problem any more, I have for the most part got over these and we e... View more

I have been in this relationship for two years now but I'm starting to think that it's having a detrimental effect on my own health and well-being. While the intimacy issues are not a problem any more, I have for the most part got over these and we enjoy a normal intimate relationship. I love her dearly and want to be with her but sometimes she can be very cruel. The problem is that when things go wrong for my partner, she takes it out on me. I end up getting verbally and emotionally abused. She has no friends, and no close family. The less severe 'episodes' involve silent treatment, where I will be trying to comfort her and find out what the problem is and she simply won't respond. I understand sometimes we don't want to talk about things, but I end up being completely ignored. Eventually I get snapped at, more or less being told to leave her alone. I'll try to give her a hug or something and I'll be pushed away. Given the fact that I have quite bad self-esteem issues, largely as a result of the intimacy problems I've experienced while in this relationship (ED due to anti depressents) I find this treatment really hard to cope with. More severe incidents have included where I've been physically shoved and pushed. Last weekend was one of these. It started off with long, drawn out silent treatment. After a whole evening of this I got tired of this explained that it's not fair to take out whatever the problem is (in this case, a work issue) on me- I'm here to help and support. I tried to give her a hug and was verbally abused. In that tyrade of being yelled at she inferred that I only wanted to hug her because I wanted one thing only (sex). I see a counsellor to help with my anxiety and relationship issues. He is concerned that my relationship is abusive. I never saw it that way, however after this last weekend I am starting to see it now. For the first time, I realised that I am being treated differently to how I treat her - it's not equal in any way. I miss being in a relationship where I can feel relaxed and comfortable and not have to worry about what the next episode is going to be. My partner has been quite supportive of me in my ups and downs. I do want to persevere through this as I don't want to lose her, and I do love her very much. She is a nice person and does care for me, but there is a mean streak that comes out I don't know how cope with it any more. Sorry for the long winded post - I am struggling to get my head around all of this.

Deracs Nearly killed by client at work
  • replies: 3

I have recently be diagnosed with ptsd after being almost killed by a client over a period of 6 months. I still can't understand why it was made out to be my fault it was happening. I had no company or departmental help what so ever. When i went and ... View more

I have recently be diagnosed with ptsd after being almost killed by a client over a period of 6 months. I still can't understand why it was made out to be my fault it was happening. I had no company or departmental help what so ever. When i went and saw my GP who put me on work cover i was fired from my job. So have been living off pretty much nothing for weeks work cover haven't accepted my claim work wont give me a separation certificate so no centrelink. I can't put up with much more of this shit

Emotionalflower Diagnosed PTSD, depression, anxiety but feel nothing
  • replies: 6

Hello everyone, I decided to come on here to maybe get some answers to what I am feeling or just someone to share it with. I recently decided to seek professional help with a psychologist. After the introduction session he said he believes I have PTS... View more

Hello everyone, I decided to come on here to maybe get some answers to what I am feeling or just someone to share it with. I recently decided to seek professional help with a psychologist. After the introduction session he said he believes I have PTSD, depression and anxiety; he explained that we can work through this stuff in order to achieve what I was seeking which was ultimately being more assertive as I am training to be a nurse and I am shy. Anyway, I was really shocked that he “diagnosed” me with PTSD because I was unaware that I was experiencing it. I have had two traumas in my life when I was 16 and 21 and I am now 23. However, I never seeked help because I guess part of me thought it was no big deal what happened but I’m not sure if I felt that way because people around me made me feel like what happened was nothing; so I essentially coped with the idea that it was. I guess what I’m getting at is I don’t understand how he can diagnose me with PTSD when I said I don’t really feel much from it? Sometimes I wonder if the trauma hasn’t affected me but without me realising it? Like subconsciously I have been suffering without mentally being aware of it? Is that even possible? I’ve tried to explain this to other people but they just don’t understand me. I just want some answers because I guess now that he has said that it’s been eating at me whenever I feel emotional about something that there’s is something underlyingly wrong with me. I know I should of seeked help ages ago but I was always too afraid because I feel like people will think i want pity for what has happened or attention so whenever I tell people I tend to say it with a smile and say it’s no big deal. If you have read this I just want to say thank you for taking time out of your day to read my post. I welcome any thoughts on my situation and I hope that you have a wonderful day. Thank you.

Darbs Parental abuse
  • replies: 5

I am at a loss over two sons and there wives.Son 1 since meeting his now wife has become more and more distant. We know he isnt happy but he is besotted with her, she abuses us the odd time she sees us ( in 12 years together we have seen her about 6 ... View more

I am at a loss over two sons and there wives.Son 1 since meeting his now wife has become more and more distant. We know he isnt happy but he is besotted with her, she abuses us the odd time she sees us ( in 12 years together we have seen her about 6 hours). She has written abusive letters and phonecalls, which dont makesense, we let them live in our rental, our son lived in it with his brother before meeting her ,they were ideal tenants, she moved in and the place was trashed,we had to fix it and sell it, she has convinced our son he has had a horendous upbringing ,made sure he doesnt see any friends and his siblings. She is on drugs and we have been recently told she is now giving them to our son and she verbally abuses him daily. Yet he still stays. This year we didnt get to see him christmas or his birthday ,she never turns up he until this year would come alone for half an hour most of that time We love our and are at a loss of what to do. There is an argument that is in her head we have never argued with her but have been yelled at , she makes up issues , we sold the family home and moved into an apartment because we are in fear of our sons wife .Son 2 is happily married to girl who only has things her way, when it comes to us, we were not allowed family or friends at there wedding, her parents were, I was told by her father “boys dont see there mothers once they are married !!!, “I look after there daughter once a month but have to do the pick up and drop off, I am unable to pick her up now , I am still happy to have her, I now look after our other grandchild ( son 3’s child) on the same day ( both are under 2 ) I am strife again. I dont have two car seats, I cannot do the right thing by these girls and thus miss out on seeing my sons too, son 2 wife this year has told me there will be no mothers day as she wants to do it as a family. I cannot help wonder what I have done so wrong as its me who gets most of the flack. Things are good with son 2’s wife as long as I agree with everything and dont have an opinion.I am becoming more depressed we have tried so many avenues for help with son 1 and keep hitting brick walls. I am frightened of the two girls and have the most to loose, we dont understand how our sons stand by there behaviour, Until son 1 met his wife we spent years as a family together the kids had a great bond.This bond was broken by son 1 s wife.

Thermodynamic_Entropy Struggling-sue my own mother? why didn't anyone protect me? *Trigger Warning, Domestic Violence and Child Abuse*
  • replies: 2

I was brought up under extremely physical abusive, neglectful and emotionally abusive circumstances as a young child. Until my adult years, I lived with her and she continued to emotionally abuse me-she still does when she gets the chance. I have som... View more

I was brought up under extremely physical abusive, neglectful and emotionally abusive circumstances as a young child. Until my adult years, I lived with her and she continued to emotionally abuse me-she still does when she gets the chance. I have some questions for the Australia police and whoever was supposed to be looking after children. My mother LITERALLY ran a car into me. I reported all the physical abuse as a child. WHY WAS I LEFT WITH HER STILL? I can't understand it! I incidentally recorded a few videos as a teenager-whenever she would intrude on one of my body checks (I have severe eating disorders ,did I mention my teeth and skin are entirely ruined from bulimia and weight change). Even the mildest forms of emotional abuse upon reflection were absurd and this was a constant that I grew up with aside from the drug/alcoholism and physical abuse. I would say something quite clearly such as, "I didn't want to hurt my back", and she would say, "You haven't hurt your back you liar, you bitch..!"...etc. etc. Oh not to mention, it seems I have a criminal record..or something? My wonderful mother used to call the police on me I think for payback for the few times I did it to her. You know..that time you were smashing down my door with hammer? I didn't even call them during some of the most serious physical assaults. How could, whatever party was responsible for looking after Australian children, leave me in her care? My father is a GP. However, he was severely beaten as a kid, which probably explains why he was attracted to such a shit stain as my mother. He didn't want to interfere with because his mum was lovely-it was his dad. My dad might be a GP but he is emotionally stunted, I'm really sorry. Unfortunately GPs earn way too much respect. Whomever's responsibility it was to make sure I got into a safe home clearly thought "Oh fabulous, your father is a GP-she'll be fine".....so why was I being abused? It is possible that, JUST MAYBE, dad unfortunately doesn't want to interfere? Dad is one of those people who says stuff is fine when it isn't-particularly with matters of his own. So when he said, "I'll look after her" or whatever he said to reassure the hospital, he meant "I'll look after her for a week then give her back to her mother where she belongs, she was just crazy and kept the baby".

Kbet I witnessed a murder
  • replies: 25

I witnessed at murder when I was 16 years old. It was a brutal murder and I was a friend of the person who commited the murder and also friends with the victim. I have never forgotten that day, it constantly plays in my mind on a constant loop. I fou... View more

I witnessed at murder when I was 16 years old. It was a brutal murder and I was a friend of the person who commited the murder and also friends with the victim. I have never forgotten that day, it constantly plays in my mind on a constant loop. I found it hard to sleep before this happened due to another trauma and after this happened I found it nearly impossible to sleep. I am plagued with nightmares and often I will stay awake until I am totally knackered and then go to sleep. I am still woken up 4-5 times a night with nightmares and a racing heart. It takes me ages to go back to sleep everytime and I feel like my body and mind are on constant autopilot. 23 years of no sleep is catching up with me. I get up for work at 5am and usually dont go to sleep until after midnight and have been doing this since I started my job 10 years ago. Now I am getting older I consistently feel exhausted.. I cant take sleeping pills because I am worried something bad will happen to me in my sleep ( from a past trauma). I am trying to meditate but its so hard for me to relax or even sit still. I feel like im always looking over my shoulder and now because of my exhaustion I find that my mind and body has had enough. I have been fighting for my right to some semblance of normalcy for 35 of my 40 years and I dont think I will ever be able to find it. I dont even know what life without fear is like. Please if anyone has any ideas to help they would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou for taking the time to read this and sharing my journey through life. Kbet

Summer Rose I stand with John, do you? *Trigger Warning - Assault*
  • replies: 16

John is a disability pensioner from Melbourne who has mental illness. His psychologist was worried about his deteriorating mental health and asked to check on him in September 2017. What happened next, in my opinion, was disturbing, sad, disgraceful ... View more

John is a disability pensioner from Melbourne who has mental illness. His psychologist was worried about his deteriorating mental health and asked to check on him in September 2017. What happened next, in my opinion, was disturbing, sad, disgraceful and an indictment on the police force. Nothing short of appalling. John was brutally attacked by officers. He was taunted, humiliated and seriously injured, all under the auspices of the Mental Health Act. Police are empowered by this legislation to use force to take to hospital a person who appears to have a mental illness in order to keep them or others safe. I watched what actually happened to John on the news this morning and it left me shocked and horrified. What if that was my daughter needing help, needing care, needing support and that was her lying on the ground? I cried. I had to work hard to shake off the numbness I felt. Now I'm angry and moved to action. I'll be writing to my local MPs today. But I know it's not enough. Does anybody know how we support the "John's" of this world? Is John's story unusual? Has anything like this ever happened to someone you love? Or is it just unusual that his assault was all caught on film and has now been picked up by the media? Does anyone else feel as powerless and sad as I do?

jjac Stalker threatened to call cops
  • replies: 2

So i was using a different forum to talk about depression and other more serious issues. A guy private messaged me, as a support, eventually started making comments about wanting a relationship. I declined and blocked him. He found me on a different ... View more

So i was using a different forum to talk about depression and other more serious issues. A guy private messaged me, as a support, eventually started making comments about wanting a relationship. I declined and blocked him. He found me on a different profile. I blocked him again. He managed this a few times. Then he started messaging me screenshots of my posts, talking about serious issues. Then said he was going to use my IP address and email the police (he's overseas) telling them to come to my house. As he's "worried" about me. And "cares" I am horrified. He has actual evidence I am depressed, I deleted my profile but he still has the proof. I've calmed down quite a bit, and he's definitely blocked for good. He can't find me now. But I hear a noise and I jump, worrying that the cops are here to punish me. Should I tell the truth? Lie? I'm not at risk. I promise you all that. I am not going to do anything. I am just depressed. I hope he was lying to me about being able to find my details. What will the police do??? Am I insane for worrying about this???

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