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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Beetle Coded yesterday after procedure.Feel very vulnerable.Helpless.Old wounds opened.
  • replies: 11

Hey I'm a first responder myself. However I coded yesterday after a procedure. Very scary experience. I am usually on the other side of this thing.Being the one being coded is a totally different story. I only remember I felt dizzy and my eyes went i... View more

Hey I'm a first responder myself. However I coded yesterday after a procedure. Very scary experience. I am usually on the other side of this thing.Being the one being coded is a totally different story. I only remember I felt dizzy and my eyes went into the back of my head. When I sort of came to "thousand" people were around me poking needles in me and talking to me. I felt so exposed, vulnerable, helpless. Even though they were all wonderful and I'm back home I'm still teary and feel still very weird, and dizzy. I wonder if this event has triggered old wounds of my past? ( sexual abuse, emotional and physical neglect and abuse) I appreciate anyone sharing their thoughts Beetle

Melsa I broke my silence after 15 years
  • replies: 4

Hi, I'm new and needed to join a support group and openly talk about my recent experiences. I was sexually abused as a child from roughly 8 years old - 14 years old by my father. I have kept this dark horrible secret for years, I've felt shame, guilt... View more

Hi, I'm new and needed to join a support group and openly talk about my recent experiences. I was sexually abused as a child from roughly 8 years old - 14 years old by my father. I have kept this dark horrible secret for years, I've felt shame, guilt and also fear and to be honest blocked most of my childhood out. I gave birth to a beautiful son 2 years ago, and this event triggered postnatal anxiety and I became terrified of my son being around my father. The flashbacks of my awful past started happening and I've lately been in a constant state of panic and fear. I've never told anyone about my father abusing me for years, however on the phone to my brother the other day ( won't go into all the conversation details) but I openly confessed to my brother what had happened, then I ended up telling my husband and mother. It felt so good to get this awful stuff of my chest, but now I don't know what to do next. I made the decision to silence and remove my toxic father from my life, which was a great first step. My parents are divorced also and my mother is shocked, horrified and angry and she is feeling like a failure as a parent right now. My family is pressuring me into making a police report, but 1) I'm terrified and 2) Because it was so long ago, I feel that nothing can actually be done. Was wondering if anyone can shine some light on making a report to the police and if you had a positive outcome? Cheers,

Pain4me Verbal psychological abuse
  • replies: 5

Hi I'm new in here.. my story is of a verbally and psychological abusive relationship I'm 7 days out of. Im finding things very hard I was totally isolated from family and friends and he was everything in my life the past 12 months. Five times I left... View more

Hi I'm new in here.. my story is of a verbally and psychological abusive relationship I'm 7 days out of. Im finding things very hard I was totally isolated from family and friends and he was everything in my life the past 12 months. Five times I left and went back always believing he would change. Telling myself constantly that if I just don' do anything to trigger him it would be ok. If course this never worked he would still go off over nothing. He was constantly accusing me of cheating on him which was not true but he would never believe me even when I could prove him wrong he still would not believe me. I don't even know who I am anymore and have spent so much time crying over this person who does not deserve it. Unless someone has been in this situation they have no idea what it feels like and you can' explain it. I just want my life back and stop the pain that I'm feeling at the moment. I have started councelling I just hope it helps. All I want to do is talk to him and see him and I know I can't and it kills me. Being alone scares me.. I'm moving towns for my job so will be away from family too.

mygypsy Separation anxiety
  • replies: 3

Hi I'm new here I lost my granddaughter a long time ago to drowning which I thought I had finally come to terms with but my mum has now been diagnosed with bowel cancer I have been running around to radiation and chemo with her everyday which is ok b... View more

Hi I'm new here I lost my granddaughter a long time ago to drowning which I thought I had finally come to terms with but my mum has now been diagnosed with bowel cancer I have been running around to radiation and chemo with her everyday which is ok but I haven't seen my daughter or grandkids due to her partner and the other day I had a few drinks and apparently abused everyone my sons daughter let me know this and now I've been crying all day with no control it feels like before I feel I'm alone I always forgive people but no body can understand why I lash out

witheredorchid digging deep into my memories of sexual abuse [TRIGGER WARNING]
  • replies: 4

First off let me start by saying it has been very hard coming to terms with this. I am still confused by it. I just need to let it out. Finally. When I was 10 my friends brother sexually abused me. Years later when giving birth to my daughter I would... View more

First off let me start by saying it has been very hard coming to terms with this. I am still confused by it. I just need to let it out. Finally. When I was 10 my friends brother sexually abused me. Years later when giving birth to my daughter I would find out he actually harmed me in a way that made labour even more difficult. I just froze and never said anything until asked if I was abused by a doctor when I had my internal exam. When I was 12 I had this older guy at school and a group of his friends bully and abuse me. on top of all the other things in my life I am just so overwhelmed and confused. I get angry, sad, scared, anxious and I have nightmares about it going further with either myself or my daughter. its become more and more often even though it had been 7 years. I don't know whats happening.

Lisa_C Stressed and anxious, just want to move on and start a new life (warning: possible triggers of sexual abuse)
  • replies: 2

My ex lives with his parents and two brothers 12 & 15. Approximately 3 months ago, I stopped our son (5 in March) from going to their house because on one night of him coming home from there, I caught him in two seperate moments behaving sexually on ... View more

My ex lives with his parents and two brothers 12 & 15. Approximately 3 months ago, I stopped our son (5 in March) from going to their house because on one night of him coming home from there, I caught him in two seperate moments behaving sexually on my bed (extremely inappropriate for a 5 year old) my mummy sences were on high alert. It clearly indicated to me that he had been exposed to online porn and/or been shown sexual behaviours, after that he didn’t want to speak about it. I took him to our GP ASAP, who called child protection and they got involved. However he is still allowed contact with his dad, just not at his house. My instincts from the start were that my son should not be going to that house because they are disrespectful to each other and used fowl langue around my son and other inappropriate things too. But I trusted his dad to protect him and I told him not to leave our son in his family’s care or leave him alone in his uncles bedrooms but he didn’t listen to me, no matter how many times I’d tell him. I felt guilty because I thought I was being too controlling or overprotective. Now that my ex has only just found a new girlfriend he has turned against me and is going through mediation because he feels like he doesn’t get enough say in his sons life (even though I have NOT stopped them from seeing each other!) I’ve just been worried for our sons safety and making sure he doesn’t take him back to that house again. Anyway in 6 months time or so, I’m hoping to move to a new town on the beach (where I know I will find happiness as I’ve wanted to move to the beach for a long time) about 4.5hrs away from my ex but I am happy to travel back there every 2nd weekend so my son and ex can spend time together. I’m just wondering can my ex stop me from doing this? Will mediation try to stop me? I’m sole carer of my son and always have been. I know what’s best for both of us. I am not running away. I just want to start a new life and find happiness after 6 years of a miserable relationship. I am so done with all this. So very emotionally tired but I am TRYING to stay strong, I cannot show my weakness, I have to stay strong for my son and myself. Any advice appreciated. Thank you.

Quercus How to discuss difficult sexual feelings
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, I need some advice if anyone is willing to share. I have two concerns.... One... Does anyone find it almost impossible to talk to their therapist about sexual issues and feelings? I like my psychiatrist and he is excellent and I feel com... View more

Hi everyone, I need some advice if anyone is willing to share. I have two concerns.... One... Does anyone find it almost impossible to talk to their therapist about sexual issues and feelings? I like my psychiatrist and he is excellent and I feel comfortable generally. But talking about anything sexual involves gestures and euphemisms or else I just blurt it out and want to melt into the floor and clam up. Either way I can't seem to discuss it. Any ideas to help? Two... Feelings of confusion and guilt. My backstory... High school sweetheart was a toad. I said no. He pretended not to hear. Abusive relationship. Many years later. Happily married. Husband is trustworthy and not remotely toad like. But I don't feel WANTED! That passionate don't want to take my hands off you sort of want. And the thoughts creep in. About how I must be sick and perverted because the only time in my life I felt like I was passionately wanted. Desired. Coveted. Was with the bloke who raped me and treated me like I was a possession. How do you broach THAT with a spouse?! Or even a therapist?! I can blurt it out awkwardly here. It's anonymous. A lot of people here know I'm strange and don't seem to mind me anyway. How did you separate feelings of PASSION from feelings of guilt? I would appreciate any advice. Nat

Betrayed72 Support needed
  • replies: 4

I'm new here and I'm looking for support as i have I'm going to assume a long and hard fight that I'm not looking forward to.

I'm new here and I'm looking for support as i have I'm going to assume a long and hard fight that I'm not looking forward to.

Lulu999 lost *trigger warning: sexual assault, child abuse*
  • replies: 2

I am so completely lost right now. I have anxiety & depression, 2 of my daughters were sexually abused earlier this year by a family friend & 2 weeks ago I found a video on my husband's phone of him having sex with a prostitute... & that is just the ... View more

I am so completely lost right now. I have anxiety & depression, 2 of my daughters were sexually abused earlier this year by a family friend & 2 weeks ago I found a video on my husband's phone of him having sex with a prostitute... & that is just the tip of the iceberg. I feel like there is no one left in the world I can trust. My husband has been my best friend for 15 years but it hasn't been easy. 6 years ago, pregnant with our 3rd daughter I found out he had had a one night stand (when I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter). I only found out because the nurses thought I had an std so I confronted him. He promised me that it was only a one time thing & was a huge mistake. But after our daughter was born I found that he had a secret email account & had been sending dirty pictures to other women & vice versa. He was also on dating websites & watching an increasing amount of pornography. I kicked him out. Following this he attended a few sex addict counselling sessions & once again promised he would change & never do these things again. As time progressed I knew he was watching porn but I turned a blind eye. We now have 4 young children & I guess it was just too hard? I should have done something about it. 2 weeks ago I found a video on his phone of him having sex with a prostitute. It shattered me. I also found texts where he was clearly setting up another session. I told him I want a divorce & was going to move down near my parents so I had some support around me. But I just can't move on. I still love him & he has begun to disclose some information about traumatic events which happened to him as a child & I believe these have had a big impact on his actions over the past years. I feel like I need to support him to get help but at the same time I'm a mess & don't really have much help for myself. To complicate things we are waiting for the court date to come up mid next year in regards to our children & their assault so I feel I can't move until that happens. They need their counsellors & support which has been established here. I feel like there really aren't too many honest or good people in the world. The person who hurt my babies was the partner of one of my closest friends & since things came out she has not spoken to me & is still with him. My husband was my one 'true friend' but now I find it was all a lie. Everyone closest to me hurts me & breaks my trust. I carry on for the sake of my children but I am so utterly broken.

Eliza2017 My fiancee hurts me *Trigger Warning - Domestic Violence*
  • replies: 7

We had our engagement party over the weekend. My family were slow to leave and so I asked my fiancee to relieve the babysitter for our three year old and I would follow shortly. When I returned we argued and he hit me. Splitting my lip very badly. Ou... View more

We had our engagement party over the weekend. My family were slow to leave and so I asked my fiancee to relieve the babysitter for our three year old and I would follow shortly. When I returned we argued and he hit me. Splitting my lip very badly. Our three year old son asleep in the next room. We have been together for 10 years and in that time he has physically hurt me three times First time he fractured my cheek. The second he gave me a black eye. Each time I have gone to my parents they have brushed it aside. I fear, as an overweight woman they feel I can do no better. I am smart woman, I know no one has the right to hurt me but I don't know what to do. I feel as if I am betraying myself. We also never have sex unless I initiate it. I have spoken to him several times to try to fix it and tell him that I feel unloved and lonely. Please. Somebody tell me I'm not the overbearing, horrible, undesirable woman I feel like I am. I am so desperately sad and embarrassed.