PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

All discussions

Dee70 Dying inside.
  • replies: 7

Hi I’m Dee, I can’t actually pinpoint 1 thing that makes me feel like a failure, maybe my parents drunken fights I witnessed growing up, or the stranger that tried touching me as a child, or mum leaving when I was 11 leaving us 3 with our cruel physi... View more

Hi I’m Dee, I can’t actually pinpoint 1 thing that makes me feel like a failure, maybe my parents drunken fights I witnessed growing up, or the stranger that tried touching me as a child, or mum leaving when I was 11 leaving us 3 with our cruel physically abusive dad which I bore the brunt of, or maybe my first serious relationship which was seven yrs of cheating and bashing’s, on his part, or waking up one morning to find my baby boy red eyed and distressed from his dad hurting him, resulting in my son being taken into care, I didn’t hurt him, I never imagined his dad would be, or the last 11 yrs with a narcissist who controlled every aspect of my life, that I finally left 8mths ago, only now I have no confidence, and hate myself and, I’m broken and need help.

Dubpat Surrounded by abusive relationships
  • replies: 2

Hi, I don't even know how to portray how loneuI feel. I have had an on and off abusive relationship with my partner of 14 years and it is in the off stages again. My partner could be quite abusive and would have a "snap" and have extended periods of ... View more

Hi, I don't even know how to portray how loneuI feel. I have had an on and off abusive relationship with my partner of 14 years and it is in the off stages again. My partner could be quite abusive and would have a "snap" and have extended periods of yelling anywhere from 2mins to an hour. I have finally separated for him to sort himself out. He is admitting full blame, we have two children together and he is saying he hasn't done right by them and that everything is his fault, our poor financial situation, the anger and he has taken a few steps to show he is possibly serious. He has made a plan and seems to be following it and in the meantime we're having space and contact is occurring surrounding the Children to be able to see them as he has moved into a friends house and the situation does not yet permit any kind of routine situation as he is still setting up a room limited space etc and I am residing with my mother and my youngest is staying with me and during week mornings my son is dropped off to me before my partner begins work. My problem now is my mother seems to think I should be having absolutely no contact with my partner, she is jealous to the extreme of anyone getting closer to me than she wishes to be and is constantly guilting and questioning my decisions. I have an entire lifetime background of this manipulative self centred behaviour. I was stolen from as a child, entire bank accounts and trust funds sucked dry, money my father gave me as pocket money, I was made to believe I had behaviour issues, called slag and constant filthy references to my sexual character from childhood. My own father was a highly abusive individual who my mother left when I was 10 and who could never get along with in a civil moment from that day forward. I had school functions ruined because of their inappropriate conduct having altercations etc yet would run back to him the minute she needed money and he would give it as a kind of control. I was put right in the middle of it. Is my mother doing this to me because she is jealous that there is civility in my situation? She says she is protecting me however she is just as emotionally abusive and does anything in her power to cut me off from support and make herself my only source of support yet I feel I would be better off without any of these people. I seem to attract this as I'm a people pleaser and I tolerate it to avoid drama.

Mpete My wife and I
  • replies: 1

Just recently my wife got diagnosed with PTSD she has appointments to go to with a therapist, I know one of there triggers is obey stress she does like the better things in life as her partner I want her to have everything she desires but at times I ... View more

Just recently my wife got diagnosed with PTSD she has appointments to go to with a therapist, I know one of there triggers is obey stress she does like the better things in life as her partner I want her to have everything she desires but at times I fail her and I just want to know what I can do to help her so we can build up a resiliency to her triggers. At times she pushes me away and has said some horrible things to me and I know that it’s the disorder talking not her I just want to help her and I’m not sure where to start.

Lilly18 Struggling to accept this life
  • replies: 2

Hi all, How do you accept life and its challenges after losing your fiance? It's been 1.5years since his accident and was only 28years old, now it' just me and 3 little kids. I self medicated with alcohol to the point I'd sometimes cry taking the fir... View more

Hi all, How do you accept life and its challenges after losing your fiance? It's been 1.5years since his accident and was only 28years old, now it' just me and 3 little kids. I self medicated with alcohol to the point I'd sometimes cry taking the first sip but continue to have 20 more, put me in a very dark place. I managed to detox of alcohol and am almost 8months sober. Since quitting the drink I turned to exercise excessivly and barley eat a meal a day, lost 30kg in 3months, im 57kg and still think I'm fat. Getting help from psychologist with that. I just cant handle doing this all on my own. The chaos with the kids. My self esteem is in the dirt after our relationship turned abusive and now hes gone. Most the time i dont know how I feel. I was angry at him for so long for getting himself in the situation that ended his life, and guilty for being angry. Relieved I don't have to put up with alot of crap anymore but then guilt for feeling that. Im angry that my young kids dont have a dad anymore, and really struggle to do the dad things. They should be going fishing, bike rides, surfing with their dad. But now they sit at home and fight. I'm on antidepressants, the first 9 weeks were fine but then it felt like something snapped and I have no tolerance for anything, switched to a new one it might need more time to work. I wish I had the patience and love to read them a book before bed but I don't, im fed up and just want them to get to sleep. Do i just accept this is my life now? Its not a good one

Grace_Olivia Am I a fraud?
  • replies: 2

I have recently come to the realisation that I am a victim of sexual assault. That being said, I feel like a fraud for saying that as I have probably gotten off relatively unscathed in the grand scheme of things, but I still haven't been able to eat ... View more

I have recently come to the realisation that I am a victim of sexual assault. That being said, I feel like a fraud for saying that as I have probably gotten off relatively unscathed in the grand scheme of things, but I still haven't been able to eat all day. I've started writing this post a number of times now but can't seem to articulate what I'm thinking correctly. I was in a "sexual agreement" lets just call it with two different guys at two different times, one after the other. I have since come to acknowledge that I was emotionally abused by both men, and sexually coerced by both men as well. I still can't figure out if what happened to me counts as sexual assault (as we were in a sexual relationship at the time) and am still struggling to come to terms with what that means. 2 out of the 3 people I have asked about this have minimised what happened and told me to move on. I'm just trying to figure out if that is in fact what I should do as I'm overreacting, or if in fact it's as complicated as I feel. Thanks Grace

sparkling_lady wife living with husband with complex PTSD
  • replies: 6

Is there anyone out there who is in the same situation as me. My husband was a train driver and with all the fatalities he has suffered from he now has PTSD along with neurological problems. I would like to talk to someone who is a support person for... View more

Is there anyone out there who is in the same situation as me. My husband was a train driver and with all the fatalities he has suffered from he now has PTSD along with neurological problems. I would like to talk to someone who is a support person for a person with PTSD preferably another train driver partner. No offence to any other profession or professional who has PTSD but at the moment i can only deal with someone who has experienced the "same" situation as me. Im new to this so i apologise in advance if i have offended anyone- that is not my intention but i do read feedbacks from everyone that has already posted. thank you for your help sparkling lady

darkbetty Torn
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone, My sister was raped at the beginning of the year and is in a difficult place right now. There is a decision to be made today and she is really struggling with what direction she should make. One part of her wants to peruse charges and th... View more

Hi Everyone, My sister was raped at the beginning of the year and is in a difficult place right now. There is a decision to be made today and she is really struggling with what direction she should make. One part of her wants to peruse charges and the other part of her doesn’t want to be responsible for ruining someone’s life with a criminal record. She is truly the most kind hearted selfless girl and it pains me to see her in so much grief. It has also had a great impact on my family. My parents have been with her every step of the way, she has our entire support as a family unit. I am worried about my father who is showing increasingly worrisome behaviour. I can only imagine how traumatic it must be to watch your child go through such an ordeal. My mother has buried her head in distractions. I feel for them and feel very helpless. On top of this, I was sexually assaulted a few years ago by someone I considered a close friend and it really ruined a lot of things in my life. This whole situation has triggered a lot of emotional memories for me, I was not able to speak up the way my sibling has been able to due to the person being a manager at my work place and the fear of losing my job. I was foolish and continued to see this person later down the track as I was just a wreck and alone and so very confused by my life as I once knew it falling apart. I feel like I am going through this again with my sister but at a far greater level. As now my whole family is going through the trauma and watching someone we care so greatly about in so much agony that we cannot fix. All I can do is let her know that she is supported, that I love her and that there is no right or wrong way of processing this. But when it comes to my parents, how do I support them. They have been through so much and been pillars of strength for my brother my sister and I. I worry so much about them and just want to see them living happily at this stage of their lives. They deserve it. I feel exhausted.

MGee Single Mum Struggling to cope [Trigger Warning: Domestic Abuse]
  • replies: 10

Hi I’m a single parent to a 3.5 year old girl. I left her Narcissistic Father im WAS when she was 2.5 months old to free us from his emotional, psychological, financial and verbal abuse when it started to get physical and I was concerned he would rap... View more

Hi I’m a single parent to a 3.5 year old girl. I left her Narcissistic Father im WAS when she was 2.5 months old to free us from his emotional, psychological, financial and verbal abuse when it started to get physical and I was concerned he would rape me. I moved back to SA where my family are from, but couldn’t get childcare and hence couldn’t work. I always dreamed of living back in QLD, where I spent 7 years and have many work connections. I also could get childcare right away. I don’t regret moving. I love QLD and I’m working. What’s hard is being a single parent with no suppprt and then dealing with a child who regresses in her toileting (5-6 accidents a day) post spending time with her Father. The Father doesn’t care, the family court didn’t care and the Independent Children’s Lawyer didn’t care. I saw my GP today and I present well. It’s the mornings and nights with my Daughter when she’s constantly not listening and having accidents that I sit on the floor and cry. I don’t drink and exercise is part of my job, that’s what’s helped me not give her up when I feel like I have had no time for myself these past 3.5 years. It’s just compounded by her out of character behaviour post visit. I look on the positive side, try and get enough sleep etc...but I am getting worn out. Court is now over after 2.5 years and I tell myself that things will get better. But I don’t think I actually believe it. Does anyone co parent with a Narcissist? Do you know where I could get help for my Daughter and I so we don’t turn on each other? Thank you x

Little_B Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
  • replies: 2

I've been experiencing signs of PTSD over the past month or two stemming from when I was a child and had a ver traumatic childhood. Forms of emotional and physical absue, separation from a parent and I never had a stable homelife wherever I was. My m... View more

I've been experiencing signs of PTSD over the past month or two stemming from when I was a child and had a ver traumatic childhood. Forms of emotional and physical absue, separation from a parent and I never had a stable homelife wherever I was. My mum was also diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, bipolar and anxiety when I was 20, after she had been treated with severe depression since she was 16. This misdiagnosis caused further trauma to myself as I had to deal with a lot growing up and after she was diagnosed properly I then cared for her whilst studying full time at uni and I was also in a very abusive relationship. I have mentally blocked out things from what happened to me when I was a child, however, recently I have been getting flashbacks and nightmares. I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety and irrational thinking. It's affecting so many things in my life and I'm so scared that I'm going to lose them. Mainly my relationship with my wonderful partner. I tend to push people away and not let people in when I'm experiencing anxiety or negative thoughts as I've always had to look after myself and now I'm so worried that any partner no longer feels the same way about me. He also suffers from mental health problems and I support him through that. He had a bad episode early last month and I helped him through a lot of it. I've never been treated for any kind of mental health problems but I'm going to see my doctor this week to see if we can set up some kind of counselling or perhaps a mild form of medication as I would rather take on the PTSD using therapies and not rely on medication. I'm usually a highly positive person but I've had quite a lot of worries and events in my life happen over the past 8 months and I think the excess stress is what has triggered things. if anyone can offer me some advice that would be amazing. Thank you

Br1sbaneg1rl Confused :(
  • replies: 12

Hi, I’m really struggling at the moment. My story; I have recently broken up with my partner, I love him but he’s said and done things recently which have really hurt me. We had been together a year, the first few months were bliss and then he starte... View more

Hi, I’m really struggling at the moment. My story; I have recently broken up with my partner, I love him but he’s said and done things recently which have really hurt me. We had been together a year, the first few months were bliss and then he started to change, if I said the wrong thing he would flat out ignore me like he was teaching me a lesson, withhold sex and tell me I shouldn’t have said or done this or that. He had always been a little possessive but I took it as though he just really loved me, he has no friends, and isn’t close to his family so I was the only one who he could rely on. He’d often try and make me feel guilty or change plans if I made them with my friends or family and if I didn’t, he’d use it against me to further guilt me. It felt quite innocent until he started losing control of his temper, the look of anger would consume his face and eyes and then he’d hit something, punch something or hit his head against the wall. I’ve never been frightened like that before, I didn’t know that side of him existed and every time he would tell me that I drove him to do it because I wouldn’t shut up or I’d say something to trigger him. I didn’t speak with anyone until only recently but she mentioned that he sounded like a narcissist and I was being emotionally abused. The man I fell in love with was a sweetheart. I had been going through a tough time for months and it was becoming so overwhelming that I lost my appetite, had trouble sleeping and would become nauseas eventually vomiting. Sometimes a few times each night for a period of days. My partner became aware of this and asked if I was pregnant. I told him no, he’d asked me to get an implant in my arm which I had very early into the relationship. A couple of days after we had an argument and he told me if I fell pregnant then he would expect me to have an abortion and if I didn’t, he would most like resent me and the baby. I was devastated that he could say such a thing, I couldn’t breath I was so upset and all he just walked away and laid on the couch. He blames everything on me and will not accept any responsibility. I would break down in front of him and he would roll his eyes. What I’m struggling with most right now is that it feels like I had been sleeping next to someone I didn’t know for a year and I feel like he tricked me. I don’t know if he is a narcissist or if this is emotional abuse but this doesn’t feel like just a break up, I feel like something has been taken from me.