Feeling like there is no way out

[Spiritbird]

Hi everyone

its been awhile since I was on here. I had a huge nervous breakdown in 2015 following major stress & I am back in the same boat again. I recovered slowly back then it took me about 9 months to come through the worst of it but I made the mistake of going back to a busy life

in 2016 my life partner left me for someone else because she wasn't happy I think because of my depression & trauma history as well as my kids & finacial pressures

that tipped my world upside down & I had to move & find a way to earn a living. During that time I was experiencing massive health problems which led to major surgery earlier this year. I didn't have long to recover & had to get back to work to support my family. In August my beloved mother passed away suddenly leaving me to sort her affairs, funeral etc. & hold my family together. I then had to move house in October & when I moved my system flipped into another breakdown. I was triggered by being caught in an anger fit by a family member which tripped my brain into fight/flight & I haven't been able to turn it off. I had to move again to get away from the stress of where I moved too & I am now in a house, away from my community, my older son moved out so I am alone most of the time. I am deeply depressed & have no energy or interest in any of the things I used to do. I'm sure my adrenals have crashed & my nervous system is fried. My only ray of light at the moment is my friend supporting me & holding me through. At this stage I am feeling hopeless & like there is no way out of feeling this way. I have no appetite, barely any motivation to get up unless I am forced too. Crippled with anxiety & losing hope.

[Croix]

Dear Spiritbird~

Life has handed you a set of very hard blows and you are back in the situation you were before, which can seem very discouraging. As someone with PTSD, anxiety and bouts of depression - I've been suicidal too - I can understand some of what you are going though. When bad I too thought my nervous system was locked into a highly undesirable state - but it recovered. I'm an awful lot better now.

I found getting rid of the pressure, meds and therapy, the support of a loved one and a big change in lifestyle -plus time - was my path back.

I'm not belittling what you have been though, I understand how bad it can be. I am saying however you have some things in your favor. The first is you. You have survived the worst life can throw at you. You have it as an experience and have leaned from it. Why, In you second sentence here you said you should not have gone back to the busy life.

I presume, though you did not say , that you are under proper medical care for the depression and anxiety - and PTSD if you have it. If you are then perhaps you need your regime adjusted. If not please start now!

Your body will be continue to recover from that major surgery, and I hope the underlying cause that made you have it is now under control.

You have moved from the worst of the pressure.

You have a friend that looks out for you. I think if I look back I would say this got me though. In my case it was my partner, but that is beside the point, you have someone there in your corner.

You are reaching out - coming here. You know there are caring capable people with experience you can draw on here and have started to talk.

You also have the perspective to realize it is illness making you the way you are - hopeless, no way out, no energy, no motivation. When there is a even a small change you will start to recover and feel very differently. This is how it was for me.

The lifestyle you lead is important, as is small aims, self reward and distraction. Try to find what you enjoyed before and try it again. Find something in that to take your mind away, even for a short while. I use books, movies, exercise, talk. For the pressure to go away for a little while is precious.

If you find things overwhelming when alone you can call our 24/7 Help Line 1300 22 4636 and hear a human voice, it can be a comfort and is there for you to use..

You sound a capable person, and will once again climb out. Please use this place as a refuge where you can talk all you like.

Croix