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Please help [trigger warning: domestic abuse]

Detie
Community Member

Im 16, and since I was 4 years old, my dad has been very abusive.

He doesn't hit me and my sister, although he is very aggressive. He treats my mother horribly however, when I was 4 I was standing right between them when he slapped/kicked her, that memory still bothers me.

Earlier this year we moved out (my sister, me and mother) and lived on our own because he was getting overly abusive, but he would not leave us alone. He would park his car outside our house in the middle of the night, hop our fence and threaten us, etc. We had an order against him and his name and abuse has been recorded. A few months ago, my mother decided to move back in with him and try to fix things.

It lasted for 2 weeks, then it all began again. The yelling, aggressiveness, lies, threats. He's stolen my money twice, taken pictures of my mothers bank card, and constantly withholds money.

We are planning on leaving again, but there is mo way we could survive financially, we get welfare payments, but its only about $400...barley enough to pay rent and WiFi (for my school) and I just don't feel safe...i'm scared he will murder my mom, hurt us, etc, and even if w do get an order against him or send him for jail for the things he's done, i'm scared when he gets out he's going to find us.

I'm just so lost and scared, this has been going on for forever, and i'm just so tired..can anyone give me advice on what to do?

Thanks

 

2 Replies 2

monkey_magic
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Detie,

Your post is serious. I just wanted to commend you on following your gut instincts because yes in these situations they can go from bad to worse. The best advice I can give is to call the domestic violence line 1800 respect on 1800 737 728. I have called them before and they are professionals that can steer you and your family in the right direction.

I really hope your family can stick together and find somewhere safe to go. It's a horrible place to be when a family member is threatening and unsafe to be around. I grew up with a violent father as well so I've lived through it and life can improve once you're away from them.

You've been brave to share you're story and I really wish for a positive outcome for you and your family. You are making some smart moves. He can't know what your future plans are though like where you are living otherwise there will just be a repeat of the past & you will be fearful. This is a time to gather as much support as you can from immediate family and professionals. Once you're away from him I would take out another order.

Bethie
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

If you can call 1300 22 4636 that's our help number and they can put you and your mum in contact with crisis help in your area.

I went through similar at your age but my Mum kept going back and never left for long dispite the fights and violence.

There is help for victims of domestic violence and emergency accommodation. Alot of agencies will also help your mum to find long term accommodation that is affordable. I know in some cases that people can request to go interstate to be rehoused. It's not uncommon and don't worry about moving Wesley Mission and organizations like that will be with you every step of the way.