Struggling after a home invasion

[HubertB]

Hi. I'm Hubert. I've been told by doctors I have depression that sometimes sinks into melancholia and anxiety. They try different meds but after a while I end up not liking them and I cold-turkey off them. Non drinker but I do smoke marijuana, & I drink too much coffee!

On the night of 29th January there was a home invasion at my unit. 3 people, wearing balaclavas, kicked open my front door. I was attacked with a knife and a baseball bat. I kept the knife off me but I was hit over the head with a baseball bat 3 times.

I couldn't sleep for 10 nights afterwards, most medication didn't help. 

I am ok now physically, just a scar on my head from 18 stitches. But I can feel myself falling apart. I am scared/angry at everyone I see in public, I cannot sit down outside, have to keep my back protected against a wall, always ready for a fight. THIS IS NOT THE NORMAL ME.

The absolute smallest thing goes wrong and I hide in my room and cry.

The worse thing is, I have been serious with a woman since December, and I am ruining our relationship.

I don't know what to do.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Hubert

Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for sharing your story.

I am so sorry that you are experiencing depression and that you have been the victim of a violent crime. I don't think it's surprising that the trauma of the attack on you has had a deep and lasting impact.

I believe what you need "to do" is to seek professional help. Either make an appointment to see your GP or your treating mental health practitioner (if you have one). I am not a doctor, but it is entirely possible that you are experiencing PTSD and professional support will be vital to your recovery.

I'm glad that you have a serious relationship and wonder if you have talked to your partner about how you are feeling? If you let her in and share your struggles with her perhaps she can support you through this difficult time.

Please know that you are not alone and never give up hope. It gets better.

Kind thoughts to you

[Recuperandi]

Hi Hubert,

Thanks for sharing your story. It clearly was a very traumatic event and would leave anyone traumatised, angry and confused. Great advice from Summer Rose, professional help is available through your GP and also victim's of crime assistance. Your GP is a starting point and a referral to a psychologist/counsellor will hopefully get you the help you need. Hopefully you can talk to your partner openly about how you are feeling, which may assist with them understanding your situation and behaviours. The trauma reactions you describe are completely normal and understanding and is most likely your mind protecting you from further perceived threats, pretty clever really. Well done for reaching out, good luck and please make contact if you need to chat further.

[PamelaR]

Hi Hubert and warm welcome to our forums

It's really good you've found your way here. Both Summer Rose and Recuperandi have given you some great advice. Seeing a gp, getting a referral to a health professional, and finding your local victims of crime group are a good start.

Feeling the way you do is normal after a very frightening assault. And yes it does sound like you are experiencing PTSD. The sooner you seek assistance the sooner you can start to learn how to manage your triggers. My heart goes out to you and I suggest talking to your partner about how you feel is also a good move.

If you don't want to talk with your partner - do you have a trusted friend or family member you can talk with? Keep reaching out here if and when you want to.

Kind regards

PamelaR