PTSD and Trauma

My husband has a 20 yr ice addiction and I don't know what to do

replies: 2

I have 1 child previous marriage had psychological abuse. fast forward, I met another man in 2014 who ended up assaulting me , charged with aggravated assault charges occasioning bodily harm. I left him, got counselling, got myself together again and... View more

I have 1 child previous marriage had psychological abuse. fast forward, I met another man in 2014 who ended up assaulting me , charged with aggravated assault charges occasioning bodily harm. I left him, got counselling, got myself together again and in 2016 met a man now married dec 2017 who I thought had his own life. I knew he struggled a little with stress but didn't know what i was getting into until it was too late. 5x he has told me I don't want to be with you and he went missing for days does meth & cheats on me with porn (as I have had trauma from pornography he and I agreed this was cheating from day 1) his past relationships he cheated on them with other women & prostitutes when he was high. he maintains throughout our 2.5 year relationship (1.4yrs of that we have been married) that he's never physically cheated in me. I am not too sure of it, hes adamant about it. currently he just got told, he may have autism & is being tested for it & ADHD. his whole life was a struggle with inibilties. I do love him but I cannot get past how betrayed I feel after he went missing for days to do drugs and porn God knows what else as I will obviously never know.He's promised multiple times he will never do it again but when he can't handle things that is is escapism. We have seen a psychiatrist and my husband is keen on eradicating his 20 year old drug addiction but it's been there so long I don't know how he can do it especially if he has inibilties to begin with. He is a good man off the drugs but does have sociopathic and narcissistic traits and his behaviour when he's high is disgusting. My child is never around when this happens nor does anyone else know about it his family never helped. they knew.I do love him but I have doubts about trusting him&1 day a normal life without drugs.hes always been employed & u wouldn't know he is an addict, he hides well. I many times before I've helped him, he takes advantage, does drugs , comes back apoligises then we are back there again in 3-4 months. My child is not in danger nor am. how do i trust him as he was a serial cheater. I need to feel me again I feel i filled his cup up too many times and now I am empty. I help him with his appointments and I take care of my child, it's hard to leave when you love someone I didn't love the others, I've only ever had 3 relationships my entire life I don't want a 2nd divorce but I am also sad all the time.

4 year old grandaughter recently traumatised by fire. Advice wanted to help her family support her.

replies: 7

My Son lives overseas with his family. A few days ago he found his daughter in the kitchen with a burning tea towel on the floor & his daughter screaming too petrified to move. He put the fire out & tried to comfort his daughter. She was so badly tra... View more

My Son lives overseas with his family. A few days ago he found his daughter in the kitchen with a burning tea towel on the floor & his daughter screaming too petrified to move. He put the fire out & tried to comfort his daughter. She was so badly traumatised she can't talk about what happened so noone knows what caused the fire. She was convinced the house would burn down so couldn't sleep in her own bed but had to remain with her parents. Hearing this triggered very bad memories for me with a similar incident when a spark from an open fire place set fire to a favourite piece of clothing. I was about 4 at the time & had to throw the burning item into the fire to avoid setting the house on fire. I was left with an intense fear of fire which escalated when I was caught in a bushfire which destroyed our home. Remembering the fear of fire I had as a child from that first event makes me want to help my son help his daughter deal better than I did with the trauma to avoid the long term consequences. While I want to help I don't know what would help & would welcome any suggestions

Doctors, trust and PTSD

replies: 2

I am finding it really hard to trust doctors and medical staff. They are "over" working with people who have mental conditions and their "tough love" approach and the way they talk about me, rather than to me really makes me angry like they think the... View more

I am finding it really hard to trust doctors and medical staff. They are "over" working with people who have mental conditions and their "tough love" approach and the way they talk about me, rather than to me really makes me angry like they think their big words are too hard for idiots to understand. They are mostly angry and constantly serious and if you try to insert humor to lighten the mood they look at me like I am from another planet. I don't like the view they have of themselves and they think they are so much better than everyone else. I feel totally hopeless and the feeling of doom never goes away. I feel like I will never find love, a home or peace. Instead all I have is constant and total isolation from anyone other than them, fear and and total misunderstanding from others

PTSD - SEXUAL ABUSE OF MY DAUGHTER

replies: 5

Hi this is my first time here, need a bit of help - my daughter was sexually assaulted over an 18 month period by somebody who was a mentor to her - someone who had been in my house as an equal..It started when my daughter was 15 and ended at 17, the... View more

Hi this is my first time here, need a bit of help - my daughter was sexually assaulted over an 18 month period by somebody who was a mentor to her - someone who had been in my house as an equal..It started when my daughter was 15 and ended at 17, the offender has been prosecuted (piss ant term given) and im only now starting to deal with it a year on..Im devastated, im triggered, im angry - i saw a psych who was not qualified to deal with my anger and frustration - thank god i found a psych for my daughter who is amazing but for conflict of interest reasons im not seeing her - ive now booked in to see her colleague, but everyday im in tears feeling like my world has crumbled - i see my daughter struggle everyday and it compounds my feelings, is this normal????

Possible PTSD? Nightmare help

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I am new on here. Unfortunately I have been struggling with a recent traumatic event and I am seeking some coping strategies. On Christmas Eve my stepmother committed suicide at our family home and she was found Christmas morning (I am a... View more

Hi everyone, I am new on here. Unfortunately I have been struggling with a recent traumatic event and I am seeking some coping strategies. On Christmas Eve my stepmother committed suicide at our family home and she was found Christmas morning (I am an adult and do not live at the home but grew up here and was present on Christmas morning). My father, brother and I have been spending time together and I have found this to be helpful. The death was very sudden and unexpected and I would not have expected her to take this action. It has now been almost two months since her death and I am finding it incredibly difficult to sleep. I would say I think about the event and have visual images of it at least every hour of the day. At night I find it difficult to stop thinking about it while I am trying to sleep, even when I try and imagine other things. I usually have a normal wake/sleep routine but am struggling to fall asleep. Often I am close to sleep but then get a shock of anxiety, sort of like a feeling like I am falling and my stomach drops. This happens over and over and often it takes me several hours before I sleep. I try to get up and sit in a dark room for a while so I am not just lying in bed restless. When I do sleep, I have vivid nightmares of people breaking into my apartment and committing suicide in front of me and I cannot stop them and I wake sweating and panicked. I am feeling a lot of anxiety during the day. When I was younger I suffered from depression and engaged in some self-harm behaviors. I do not drink alcohol regularly or take any drugs. My regular doctor is on holidays at the moment and I intend on making an appointment when he returns. Has anyone got any any advice on how to assist with the sleeping, as well as reducing the nightmares and anxiety? Thank you in advance for your support.

Narcissistic Abuse - Finally Free!

replies: 47

I can't believe I am free. I was with my ex-fiance for 8 years and suffered at the hands of his cruel torments, naming, shaming and blaming. I forgot who I was for a long time. It wasn't until I was humiliated in public so harshly that I decided enou... View more

I can't believe I am free. I was with my ex-fiance for 8 years and suffered at the hands of his cruel torments, naming, shaming and blaming. I forgot who I was for a long time. It wasn't until I was humiliated in public so harshly that I decided enough was enough. As a child, growing up I came from a broken home. I was lucky to have my Dad and Stepmum who loved and supported me. My mother was cruel, manipulative and destructive... but she sucked me in. It was during my early twenties and living with my mother that I realised I needed out and it was then that I met my ex-fiance. He was charming, nice, complimented me and made me feel special. This was the first alarming sign I should have seen.. but I was so wrapped up in the honeymoon period I didn't listen to my "gut". Once we moved in together, the abuse began. He would tell me that my family never loved me, that he was the only one who could look after me, nurture me etc. He told me I was dumb, stupid, worthless and nothing without him. He controlled what I wore, who I saw, where I went. I started losing my self confidence and my ability to converse with others. I was terrified to talk to other people or accept invitations because he would harass me, text me all night or ask people to "look out for me". I felt like I was constantly watched. 3 years later I left him... but I wasn't strong enough. I cried for weeks and felt more alone than ever. I took him back and endured another 5 years of hell. This time round, he didn't control who I talked to or saw.. but he diminished my existence and self worth. He used violence and blackmail to get what he wanted. He threatened to hurt my family, friends and co-workers. Work was my only sanctuary. After getting engaged, I realised I couldn't marry him. The proposal wasn't romantic at all, it felt as though it was an effort on his behalf to make me stay. He stopped listening to me and dictated every part of my life. The public humiliation was the last straw.. so I left for work... returned home after he had left and grabbed the clothes on my back. I drove for 2 days and back in the care of my family.. I am free! I have inner peace and after extensive research on narcissistic abuse I realise how much of a fool I was... how he sucked me in. My aim on here is to talk to others about it. The more we talk about it.. the less control the abuser has. I hope my story gives others inspiration to leave.. it was the best thing I have ever done!

I'm a newbie here.

replies: 4

Hi everyone. I'm new to the site and am hoping I will find some support here. Recently my husband and I were made aware that our 12 year old daughter had been sexually assaulted by her older cousin. The abuse has been happening for two years, slowly ... View more

Hi everyone. I'm new to the site and am hoping I will find some support here. Recently my husband and I were made aware that our 12 year old daughter had been sexually assaulted by her older cousin. The abuse has been happening for two years, slowly getting more invasive and dominant. We have all been in intense therapy since which has been good however I am struggling so much. It's my husband's side of the family and it has caused an enormous fracture. Of course, we have been pushed out for speaking up. I feel as though I'm having a breakdown. I'm already medicated for anxiety. I just don't kniw how to handle my feelings.

How do I break the habit of pushing loved ones away

replies: 1

Quick overview my childhood involved father emotional abusing me and my siblings and physical abuse. I find it hard to let go of the memories and hard to trust people. I confronted my father about our childhood 2 years ago ended in tears and him sayi... View more

Quick overview my childhood involved father emotional abusing me and my siblings and physical abuse. I find it hard to let go of the memories and hard to trust people. I confronted my father about our childhood 2 years ago ended in tears and him saying I was never allowed back to the family home. My mother agreed to this as didn't want me upsetting my father. I tried to apologize to him saying I just wanted him to admit what he did in our childhood but he chooses to pretend I don't exist anymore. Fast forward to adulthood fantastic partner but I find myself pushing him away thinking he is just going to hurt and abandon me. How do I get over this fear and stop pushing him away?

Partner doesn't get it

replies: 3

Hi. I have an issue in that whenever I try to talk to my partner about the abuse and trauma of my childhood, he just doesn't seem to understand the lasting effects of trauma on a young brain. I had lots of trauma as a kid and the one lasting effect o... View more

Hi. I have an issue in that whenever I try to talk to my partner about the abuse and trauma of my childhood, he just doesn't seem to understand the lasting effects of trauma on a young brain. I had lots of trauma as a kid and the one lasting effect of it is that I have nightmares. He says things like "You just gotta get over it and move on and let that stuff go. It's all in the past." And I get that he's trying to be helpful, but it feels like he's being dismissive. I am, as much as one can be, quite 'accepting' of my nightmares. I'm used to it now and don't even really freak out about them anymore. But he seems to think it's a sign that I'm "hanging onto" the trauma. Which I'm not. By sharing with him about my dreams and nightmares, I'm simply bringing it out into the light and dissolving its power over me. Sometimes I just need to verbalise stuff. Anyway, I don't know if that all makes sense, or if anyone can relate ...... But if you have any words of wisdom in regard to getting him to understand the difference between 'letting go' and having 'side effects' that would be great. Thanks.

PTSD- how to not think about bad memories?

replies: 15

Hi, Does anyone have any advice on how to not think about memories from your past? I have PTSD from some bad things that happened 15 years ago ,where in the moment when dating, things started to go further than I morally intended to and i said NO and... View more

Hi, Does anyone have any advice on how to not think about memories from your past? I have PTSD from some bad things that happened 15 years ago ,where in the moment when dating, things started to go further than I morally intended to and i said NO and grabbed his arm to stop but he kept going and pressured me to take things further and he pushed the boundaries of how far i wanted to go. I hadn't planned on things going that far. This happened more than once. How do you stop remembering the bad incidents? I saw a psychologist. Then a few years later i had to see another psychologist again. The first psychologist said "that boy was less than honourable". The second psychologist a few years later said "there's trauma attached to it." and told me I had PTSD. For a while, keeping busy by doing hobbies, being mindful in the present and trying to think about happy memories instead helped me. But even 15 years later, the bad memories still keep popping up in my head when I don't want them to. I married someone else and I feel so much guilt and shame at having gone too far with someone else before marriage.

Pinned discussions

PTSD for Medical and First Responders

replies: 276

All discussions

My husband has a 20 yr ice addiction and I don't know what to do

replies: 2