I’m really struggling at the moment. I don’t have any real supports around me that I can talk to about this and I don’t see my psychologist for another two weeks. My older brother sexually abused me over a long period of time when I was younger. I’ve started to communicate this to my psychologist (in writing) because I cannot talk about it. I have been told that I have PTSD. Everything seems so much worse since I have started working through it. I feel like I need to stop and get over it. Internally I’m screaming but I have to keep functioning to keep up with Single Mum responsibilities and my full time job
Hello BelleBelle & I'm very pleased to welcome you to these forums.
Difficult as it is, you have made a great start by writing down some of what your thoughts & feelings, maybe even about the abuse you experienced, & showing your psychologist.
My brother had sexually abused me. I was a young teen.
It was many years before I told anyone, & then, very little.
Given your responsibilities as a mum, & working, I can understand the desire to put aside working through the trauma & get on with things.
If I'd had a child, or a full-time paid job, I would have tried to hide all I was going through, like I'd always done anyway, but I doubt I could have sustained that. My work would suffer, my child/children would have had the worst of me, not my best me. I would have felt awful about that.
So, I can't really give you any advice about the difficulty you are having. I don't know if you could talk to your psychologist more frequently, or to ask for an early appointment so you can tell them how much you are struggling, & maybe, ask how to go slower? Would that help?
You may come here to BB & talk about your feelings & I hope you will feel supported by the people you talk to here.
You might like to look into the 'Caring for myself and others' section, & find ways of doing just that.
Big warm hugzies, BelleBelle. It does get better.