Support
Support

PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

Start a conversation

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a conversation

Pinned discussions

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

All discussions

Start a conversation

David35 trauma from dads cancer
  • replies: 4

I've recently discovered that I have built up trauma from almost 7 years ago. My psychologist has helped uncover it. Around this time in 2016 my dad was terminally ill with prostate cancer that ended up migrating to his brain. Watching someone's life... View more

I've recently discovered that I have built up trauma from almost 7 years ago. My psychologist has helped uncover it. Around this time in 2016 my dad was terminally ill with prostate cancer that ended up migrating to his brain. Watching someone's life deteriorate so quickly once it got to his brain was difficult. I've tried writing about it to help. Does anyone have any other ideas? I thought I had dealt with the grief, which I may have. But after talking today to my therapist I had no idea there was so much trauma still there, so many vivid memories, associated with the way he died. Has anyone else experienced this?

Guest_597 Complex PTSD
  • replies: 1

OK... I've started my recovery from my ptsd.... but who finds that you are so toxic.... I feel so toxic with the traits that I've had to use for survival mode for so long... that now I'm meeting new people who are different as and being told I'm cons... View more

OK... I've started my recovery from my ptsd.... but who finds that you are so toxic.... I feel so toxic with the traits that I've had to use for survival mode for so long... that now I'm meeting new people who are different as and being told I'm constantly toxic to be around.... I don't mean to be... I don't want to be... but some how I am.... The zoning out I am angry with apparently.... The when I try to prove a point because how I had to growing up is so toxic.... that it makes other people feel like shit... that I don't even realise I'm doing it.... I get told.. but I want to stop.... how the hell do u stop a survival technique that's stuck with you for so long to just stop..... What am I doing wrong.... I've started meditation... it makes me so tired and drained .... I'm trying to get help to see a psychologist again... because I know i need it.... But just why am I so toxic....

Kombie390 Confused
  • replies: 1

Strong TW... Mentions. Childhood sexual abuse, Incest, Mental health. Flashbacks have been extremely vivid in past weeks and now more so in past days since receiving terrible news from an unnamed Government department.I guess in the MH industry they ... View more

Strong TW... Mentions. Childhood sexual abuse, Incest, Mental health. Flashbacks have been extremely vivid in past weeks and now more so in past days since receiving terrible news from an unnamed Government department.I guess in the MH industry they call it compartmentalising, personally want to say it's trying to wrap my head around it, trying to find 'my' way of processing such news.Some of you here may or may not understand why I need to BUT have to justify my childhood abusers actions. My thoughts are cluttered and blocked up with the notion it wasn't that bad.I have been diagnosed with a fair few MH labels DID (dissociative identity disorder), been one of them. All I can manage day to day which is a burden in itself is this singular thought. Many of you may say to try, dig into my self care coping tool kit and find a different and more positive approach. Its not possible. I can't, believe me I've tried. With different ages the abuse was happening in my past, now they are fronting with and without these flashbacks. Other C-PTSD symptoms are feeling equally as worse, no, or lack of sleep being one of them, which I know isn't helping my thoughts become any clearer or kinder towards oneself.I needed to write out these thoughts of mine to someone else as they are stealing and taking my energy away from me. Plus I'm drowning. I'm struggling.Life in my current world isn't going well, active trauma. It's complicated. I don't know if there's such a thing as a DID episode or it's just another MH downward spiral I'm going through. Currently, I have awareness, which in itself is almost impossible at the moment from my past counselling sessions of depersonalisation and derealisation. My kids don't feel like or seem like they belong to me, I don't feel I should be living where I am. I am wanting to go home, to my family of origin, they are all my abusers but in my current thoughts it's where I felt needed and safe (I know that sounds very confusing) but really they were using me anyway they wanted. It's all different there now though, it's 2023, we are all older and have gone in different directions. That was then decades ago, I'm finding it impossible in seeing the difference. I am, we all are feeling very confused and disoriented. I am finding myself staring at walls for I don't know how long, hard to describe but it feels like an outlet.

Malen Just diagnosed Complex PTSD
  • replies: 11

I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD today, on top of BP2 w/psychotic features, Anxiety, OCD and Depression. I dont completely understand the diagnosis. I do know it from being physically abused on a pretty much daily basis by the guys at school, pretty... View more

I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD today, on top of BP2 w/psychotic features, Anxiety, OCD and Depression. I dont completely understand the diagnosis. I do know it from being physically abused on a pretty much daily basis by the guys at school, pretty much from early primary to the last day of year 12. The farewell gift I received from one of my bullies was to fly kick me to the head knocking me out. I told my parents, I told the school, I told anyone who would listen but no one did or was able to do anything about it.My home life was strict, very religious. We had church people over what feels like every night, from an early age I became the coffee maker for all these guests. I became a complete loner and my music tastes changed to metal, which was not well recieved in a strict religious house. I was forced to study music at school so I chose guitar, was never very good. I also had to do piano for a number of years, which I was even worse at. I had to study math and English through out. I was good at math but in Year 12 I needed a tutor for English. Mum was very controlling growing up but also, I would say aggressive. There were outbursts if she didnt get her way. Her and Dad would fight more than I would think was normal, not physical though. Mum did suffer from Depression and spent quite a time away in a facility when I was in year 7, I didnt understand the before this or why she had been taken away. So school I was abused and at home I wasnt safe and couldnt be myself regardless. Ive never felt like I could be myself, other than the time I lived alone. Now days Im not even sure if I would know how to be who I am or who I actually am to begin with

Shittenbricks Finding out about severe emotional trauma in my childhood
  • replies: 1

ive written this out SO many times im so tired so have this crappy thing. can elaborate or explain more if asked. had dinner with my dad and bf today. im 18 bf is 19. me and mum have been fighting recently primarily bc she does not understand ADHD. w... View more

ive written this out SO many times im so tired so have this crappy thing. can elaborate or explain more if asked. had dinner with my dad and bf today. im 18 bf is 19. me and mum have been fighting recently primarily bc she does not understand ADHD. went to this sushi joint next to ikea. dad gave me some advice revealed to me that mum has a history of manipulation, lying, not taking responsibility for her actions, twisting things to be anyone elses fault. said she had been investigated for corruption in her job bc was bankrupt and having an affair with her boss. didnt know any of this. she dumped all of her debt on my dad. dropped the big one: she screamed at me as a child to the point i was balled up in the corner. multiple times. no freaking wonder i cant stand being yelled at or told off. the other day she said all of my reasons for being upset are stupid. said my bf cant stay anymore bc my room is a little too messy (couple things on the floor, i like keeping it clean and clean it everyday???)i also cant move out lol she wont allow it. she also wants board. what. the crap. ok goodnight lol

Elle42 Family covered up sexual abuse
  • replies: 13

My uncle tried to groom me starting from when I was 12 (He would pay special attention to me). I didn't realise his intentions until I was about 14 and he started sending me emails that were inappropriate. At first I just emailed back until a particu... View more

My uncle tried to groom me starting from when I was 12 (He would pay special attention to me). I didn't realise his intentions until I was about 14 and he started sending me emails that were inappropriate. At first I just emailed back until a particular email confirmed the way he felt about me. At the same time, my parents told me they would organise a skiing holiday for me in new Zealand where my uncle lives. His wife (mums sister) would come to Australia for a visit while I would go there and be with my uncle and my two cousins. I realised that this way his way of getting me all alone so he could potentially do more than just flirt by email. I told my mum and she said she would keep me safe and make sure I was never alone with him and to cut off emails with him. She said we couldn't tell anyone else because it would hurt our family. I didn't have to see my uncle often, but he would come to Australia for big family events. When I was around 24 I told my aunty what had happened. My aunty almost seemed relieved as he had accused her of being crazy every time she got angry about his attention to younger girls. She still didn't want others to know and I respected that. Now I'm 27 and in therapy again for some recent panic attacks. The night of my last appointment we talked about my mum covering this up I was a mess. All I could think about was what he did and how she valued everyone else's feelings over my own. I kept thinking what if he abused me as a young child and I don't remember (I realise this is unlikely but I'm a paranoid person and don't remember much of my early childhood due to bullying). I didn't go to work the next day and spent it either asleep or crying. That night I rang my mum still in a bad state and asked her if she could talk to my aunty about uninviting my uncle to my wedding in October. I said maybe he could say he needs to work or make another excuse. My mum's response initially was that it would be an awkward conversation for her but I explained what had hurt me so much and how it still does. She agreed to talk to my aunty. The next day she told me that she ended up telling my dad. I haven't talked to her since and I'm nervous to hear what happened when she talked to my aunty and to know how my dad is taking it. I'm happy he knows but it's all a lot right now. I've felt so on edge all week.

Eagle Ray Denial of sexual abuse in extended family
  • replies: 37

Potentially distressing content warning Hi, I’m currently trying to bring myself to communicate with an extended family member regarding her ongoing denial of four years of sexual abuse done to a cousin when she was a child. In fact she pretends the ... View more

Potentially distressing content warning Hi, I’m currently trying to bring myself to communicate with an extended family member regarding her ongoing denial of four years of sexual abuse done to a cousin when she was a child. In fact she pretends the person abused doesn’t exist. The mother of this child (different to above person) blamed her daughter for the abuse and abandoned her. The perpetrator got away with it. This same perpetrator attempted to groom me as a child but I was fortunately never alone with him. Another relative did as well in front of other family including my parents who did nothing to stop his behaviour, but again I was never completely alone and apart from suggestive comments and being leered at and asked to do things for him, nothing actually happened. He later went to prison for abusing another under-age person. I’m not sure my question fits here because it’s primarily about the abuse of someone else. But what I’d like to know is how have others handled denial of sexual abuse in families and the ongoing lies and cover ups that can go on for years? As a younger adult I have experienced two sexual assaults and so I feel all the more angry about how the abuse of a family member is denied. I refuse to pretend the person doesn’t exist and I have nothing to do with her mother who abandoned her. The other family member is trying to get me to connect with the mother and I will not do this. This keeps coming up at the moment and I’m thinking of writing a letter to the family member I’m struggling with right now. I believe she tries to cover up the abuse because she has been scared for years to rock the boat. But I feel I have to rock the boat even though it’s likely to be destructive of my relationship with family members. I only found out about the abuse of this cousin in my 20s when my parents told me, years after it occurred. The perpetrator died recently which has put a spotlight back on this issue. Has anyone had to handle something like this? What did you do? How did it go? I have a feeling it’s going to go badly but I refuse to play the denial game. I have never met the cousin in question as she was ex-communicated from her family decades ago. I’m only recently discovering the extent to which other family have gone to cover up the abuse and it’s upsetting me. My parents have died so I can’t discuss it with them now.

Nyla Being Triggered & Pregnancy
  • replies: 7

Hi All, I've just had a bit of a day. I have not been triggered for a long time and work with at risk youth, so constantly exposed to situations. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar and Complex trauma, all has been under control for quite some time. S... View more

Hi All, I've just had a bit of a day. I have not been triggered for a long time and work with at risk youth, so constantly exposed to situations. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar and Complex trauma, all has been under control for quite some time. Second trimester of pregnancy, which I know can trigger issues in bipolar, but finding it is more the trauma that is getting triggered.Today I was simply in some basic training, going through a scenario and a story shared triggered me big time. To the point of dissociation and flashbacks. To put into perspective, I am the colleague everyone comes to, because I can cope with all situations and often find pathways through. I took me a while to get to this point, but never in last 5 years have I been triggered by a real situation let alone a case study.I have done all my little tricks and things, but nothing is really working. I simply have not been able to shut up the feelings, thoughts, memories, etc. Really panicked about the pregnancy on top of it. Just not ok.In the back of my mind is is any of this going to trigger my Bipolar and cause an episode or the psychosis that can occur during pregnancy.... lets face it, if I have an episode, psychosis is on the agenda for me anyways. Again, I have not had a serious episode for years and really do not need the fall out in my life it causes. What the hell do I do?

Orangeicy A flying monkey or possible friend
  • replies: 5

A little over 7months ago I left a group of friends after we let in a narcissist who gradually pushed me out.This person used all the classic tactics like triangulation, projection, never speaking directly to me etc.Had the other group members convin... View more

A little over 7months ago I left a group of friends after we let in a narcissist who gradually pushed me out.This person used all the classic tactics like triangulation, projection, never speaking directly to me etc.Had the other group members convinced that I wasn't worth the friendship. So when I spoke up about how I felt like there had been a shift they all stonewalled me. I left. They've all ignored me these past months. Crossing the road if they saw me, avoiding eye contact. The narc herself is the only one who has walked past me with a smirk on her face looking directly at me. Fast forward to the last 2 weeks. Suddenly a member of the group is acknowledging me, saying hi and talking. Surface level, but still.She seemingly isn't in the group any longer. I was and am very hesitant. This person was the one I considered the best friend of the group. Also the one who broke my heart the most. I'm sort of stuck between hoping she has realised what went down, maybe she got similar treatment. Or - its part of the game with the narc sitting as a big spider pulling the strings. The rest of the group, who've been ignoring me for months are now glaring my way. I've never seen anybody look with such hate in their eyes as when they looked.Maybe they think I told her my version of a narrative they tried so desperately to control..even if I haven't.Being a scapegoat regardless to what I have or haven't done. And I just don't know if I should risk letting this person back in. I miss what was, but maybe I am just thinking back to the golden days before she was so easily duped by the narcissist and gladly left me behind. I am an introvert, a people pleaser and find it extremely hard making friends. Maybe that's why it has this pull on me. I have been thinking that IF I was to reconnect with this friend it has to start with an open talk about the fact that she hurt me and that I will be needing a policy on honesty and openness. But still very hesitant whether or not I should bother, if it's safe.

2_Shattered BPD Wife Suicide Infidelity
  • replies: 1

This has been my extremely painful experience. I am terrified writing this as I am full of fear that I will be recognised. I met a beautiful woman and it was bliss. We had an instant connection. As time progressed I honestly felt she was the one. Sou... View more

This has been my extremely painful experience. I am terrified writing this as I am full of fear that I will be recognised. I met a beautiful woman and it was bliss. We had an instant connection. As time progressed I honestly felt she was the one. Soul mate even. The absolute funniest person ever. Maybe 9 months into our relationship I noticed one night that her belly was extremely bloated. She was athletic. I ended up taking her to the hospital. This is the beginning of my partner getting sick. Looking back I knew nothing as she hid and lied which will come up later. All I knew is that my partner had a serious heart infection. Life threatening. Basically the next year I supported her in every way. Even though I earn good money I got a second job. I paid all her bills. Her credit cards. Her rent. Everything. To ensure that she had everything. This cost me a lot of my friends. Telling me that she is not my responsibility ect. I was getting mentally sick. Really sick. I was with the woman I love. It was her and I verse the world. She would hug me and cry asking me to never leave. I did my absolute best for her. I loved her. The inevitable day comes and we are in hospital. Over the next week I was communicating with her parents living in another state. This was going to be a 6 month hospital stay. Then I get a call saying my partner has disappeared. What? Why? She has BPD. What? The next few weeks are a blur. Not knowing anything. She could drop dead any second. I received a call from a Dr saying that she had been found and is in another hospital. Basically I was told to not come as her whole family were there. That was hard. I reminded myself. This is not about me. I am going crazy as I want to see her.I am going nuts. Walking 30km a day. Then on the 8th day I receive a call that she has passed. I received a call a week later saying she was buried the day before. I know this was hard on everyone involved. The next year I was in a haze. Lost my business of 20 years due to not being able to work. Not paying bills. Not washing. Not opening mail etc.It was like I had been hit in the head. I was in daze. What happened? My best friend, my heart. I then was going through our computer. WTF? She had 4 men. ISex Video about 6 weeks before her death. Old man. Talking and laughing about taking all my money. Laughing that she is going to die.

As an organisation that supports people from across Australia, Beyond Blue acknowledges the Traditional Owners and Custodians of Country and their continuing connection to land, waters and community. We pay respect to Elders past and present.

First Nations Peoples are advised that this website may include reference to and images of deceased persons.

Beyond Blue is committed to safe inclusive spaces, policies and services for people of LGBTIQ+ communities and their families.

Helpful information

Stay in touch

Sign up below for regular emails from Beyond Blue, filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.

Stay in touch

Talk it through with us, we'll point you in the right direction.

Call 1300 224 636

24 hours / 7 days a week

Chat Online

24 hours / 7 days a week

Email us

Get a reply in 24 hours

Copyright � 2026 Beyond Blue Ltd

All rights reserved

Contact us Terms of use Privacy policy Site map