Severe trauma ruining my life and the only therapist I can afford said she’s not qualified to help me. i’m scared and losing hope

[SilGa]

I’m 26 years old. Last year I recovered repressed memories of being raped as a child and it made so many things click into place for me.
i have vaginismus, general fear of intimacy, severe social anxiety and depression. I neglected my health for years and didn’t take care of my body, I didn’t open up about the problems I was having in school and ended up dropping out. I’m certain I have an undiagnosed learning disability, I’m guessing ADHD but of course I don’t know for sure because I haven’t gotten a diagnosis.
I have no job and still live with my parents, and no friends. I’m afraid of meeting new people because I’ll always be the ‘ugly friend’ and I just don’t have any social skills either.
I got a referral for my local walk-in clinics therapist who only charged $50 per session. I had my first session with her by phone and I told her everything and she told me that she wasn’t qualified to help me with the trauma related to being molested. She didn’t even know what vaginismus is and I had to explain it to her. She emailed me the names of four places that actually specialise in that area and said that if I explain my situation then they might give me a reduced fee.
So far I’ve only contacted one and haven’t received a response yet.
Im running out of hope. I need therapy and medication, I need treatment for my vaginismus, but I don’t have a job. My Dad will be paying for everything but our family isn’t wealthy, $300 for each session on top of any medication I’ll be prescribed will be too much.
I’m not suicidal right now but I know if I let this go on, I’m going to become suicidal in the future. I want a job, I want friends, I want to be able to have pelvic exams because I have never gotten one done before and I feel anxious not knowing if there might be something wrong. I’ve read that you can get a pelvic exam done with anaesthesia but I don’t know how to go about asking for that and I don’t have money to pay for anaesthesia.
I don’t know what to do. I just want help, why isn’t this stuff affordable? What am I suppose to do if I can’t live my life? Because that’s the thing. I’m not living my life and also happen to have trauma and mental illness. I’m not living at all. I can barely function. I rely on my parents for everything but I don’t want to put that pressure on them, I want to take care of them as they get older, not have to be taken care of by them.
I don’t know what to do…

I’m losing hope of ever recovering & being able to live a normal life…

[Guest_1643]

Hi sil, welcome.

I'm sorry that happened to you with the therapist.

Although it's a lot down there are therapists who would claim, to be an expert, take Ur money and mess u around.

Getting a referral takes a few shots. It doesn't need to be extremely expensive but it may take time to get in with someone u trust. U don't need to 9nly follow this person's referral and suggestions, u can do Ur own research and find someone else entirely. Ur recovery comes first.

Ur life is normal, many ppl live the same at 26.

What gives u joy , hope, or belonging? Let's hold onto Ur strengths....and see if we can support u here on the forums...if u wish...

[Jacqui51]

Hi, is it possible to get a referral to a psychiatrist. I know from experience not super cheap but Medicare will pay a portion and over time they pay a larger percentage. Finding the right one is not easy, please don't give up. I agree that the fact your psychologist was honest is amazing. Mine has been also which is why I am now seeing a psychiatrist. Even then it may not be easy but worth trying as possible rewards are huge.

On another note having memories of this level return is traumatic. I know from similar experiences at around the same age. Please try and be kind to yourself.

Please take care and keep reaching out.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi SilGa,

Welcome.

I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through and what happened with your therapist; how disappointing that the people she referred you to haven't even helped either.

I do hear you though; mental health care is complex and confusing and expensive, but you're not alone in this and there is hope.

I'm not sure if you are aware, but GP's can help with the cost of a psychologist through a MHCP (Mental Health Care Plan). We can use 20 sessions this year on a care plan. Some psychologists are free (bulk-billed); some are still expensive. I pay $40 for mine using the care plan.

As for medication, a lot of this one is on the PBS for concession card holders;- which means some medications can cost $6.60.

I know that it's hard; you'll have to find someone that's not a walk in clinic, and find one that is a trauma therapist. But you can find one because they are out there.

rt

[SilGa]

I’ve looked everywhere online, they’re all either too far away or they charge too much. My local walk in clinic is fine for non seriously medical issues but they seem really incompetent in every other area so I’m hesitant to give them another try though I might have to..

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi SilGa,

Hm, that's frustrating. Would telehealth be an option for you? There are a lot of psychologists who work through platforms like Skype which means you wouldn't need to leave your house.

rt

[Guest_1643]

hi siliga... may i suggest with those that charge too much... if ur on a healthcare card/pension/not working fulltime, might be worth asking if they'd do it a bit cheaper.
Many psychs offer discounts to their price. They understand if ur not able to pay it... and they still get paid well through medicare. Bulk-billing psychs are very rare, and some would say, they may sometimes be not as good...bulk billing would mean the service owuld be completely free, and medicare pays for it all.

[Guest_1643]

ps just to give an example, i'm barely working and have very limited finances and have found a psych I can see weekly and afford. It took me about a year to find him, the balance between someone good, who I could get into seeing, who I could afford.

There are a few diff pathways to affording it....

i think private health care can cover some if you ahve private healthcare some ppl go that way...

if you dont they may give you a discount...

if you are in VIC CASA house offers 12 or so free sessions with good trauma therapists

universities have thearpists you can see for free

I would recommend getting on any good thearpists waiting lists that you can... and then if it gets closer to the time you can talk about prices with them... some have 6 months wait lists... it sounds like ages but who knows , cancellations come... and being on the list can help..good luck..