Road Trauma *Trigger Warning*

[Garry70]

First of all I will give a brief description as to who I am and what I do so you can get an understanding of what it's like to work on the front line at scenes. I am a volunteer with the State Emergency Service and have been for 24 years. About 15 of these were spent attending road accidents with Rescue.

There has only been one incident that has really affected me and that was on the night of the 10th / 11th Jan 2010. At 10pm my pager and phone had a message come through MVA persons trapped 20 km North of my location. I flew into rescue mode and was out the door within 5 minutes and at the depot within 7 minutes. As we arrived on scene, a message from my unit at the time came across the police radio that they had just arrived on scene.

I gave it no more thought as mine was a fatal and we had to work as quick as we can to get the other critically injured out of the vehicle. By the time we had finished and reopened the highway it was about 2:20am.

After a quick service of the tools and a debrief, I finally got home around 3am. I had 3 messages from my mum so I rang her back pulling her out of bed. She told me to sit as she had some news to tell me. She broke the news that I had lost a good mate and his son in a double just out of town that night, then it hit me, (the message on the radio) As I was talking to mum trying to hold back the tears, I had a knock at my door. I told mum I would ring her back through the day as I need to see who's knocking.

When I opened the door, there stood 2 police officers, the same 2 that had just come back from the accident I was called to. Just the expression on their faces I knew they got a shock to see me in my blood stained uniform which made their job even harder. I told them that I had just found out what they were there for and would they like to come in and have a coffee with me. They told me to ring the station when I got a chance to if I wanted to know more as they knew who I was since I've worked beside them many times on the roads.

I got a shock to know how it was caused and what the other driver blew at the time of the accident. Both accidents that night were caused by drink drivers. I not only had 3 fatals to deal with but the fact I had just lost my good mate twice as he was brought back the first time then finally went in the helicopter on the way to hospital. This is the only time of year I hide my uniform now and turn my phone off

[white knight]

Hi Garry, welcome

It was a tough night indeed. I'm glad you've posted here.

Im 61, ex prison officer, RAAF, ranger, cfa 12 years, etc. Camt say I've had a day like yours but in some of those kons I've worn the mask of the tough guy.

When an emergency comes I can switch into operational mode automatically as you have, but it takes a strong person to not go into meltdown later.

An incident I had that might help you was in 1978. 21yo was a young sge to work at Pentridge jail. Emotionally undiagnosed with bipolar etc. Anyway I blamed myself for the passing away of an inmate. It wasnt my fault but..

I left the job 3 years later and 15 years later on a boring security job I coined a poem. It was only 4 verses long but, the mind works in mysterious ways and from that moment on I was over it- recovered

Writing things down helps. But Ive also been on a self discovery journey that has had lots of aspects I've benefitted with.

Best way to explain is for you to google these

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: worry worry worry- beyondblue

Topic: how I eliminated anxiety- beyondblue

Topic: accepting yourself, the frog and the scorpion- beyondblue

Repost anytime including on those threads if you want. You have suffered a lot. Thanks for your service.

Tony WK

[Croix]

Dear Garry

Thank you for posting, your experiences set out here are helpful to many, not only those readers that don't really understand what first responders have to do, but to others who have had similar or related experiences and can get some comfort in how you have coped.

You have had a truly horrible time, not the sort of thing I'd imagine you ever really get over. You have my very great sympathy.

I'm ex-police, and while the majority of my duties were not horrific their some, one incident in particular, that has affected my life. I've been out for a long time with the usual - PTSD, anxiety, bouts of depression, and am now quite good. I do relate to Ambo_Calltaker's impression that things are cumulative.

Do you mind if I ask if you changed your duties or are you still front-line?

I'm afraid anniversaries can be hard, I can only speak for my self but find they do bring things to the surface more than is usual. While I don't mention such to anyone else I do try to plan to be busy and distracted at the time. If I don't it sets the scene for a fair while afterwards, it even shows in my decisions. Do you find you recover quickly from the day?

I have my own view of drink-driving, I never drink and drive under any circumstances and wish others did the same. The amount of grief such drivers have caused is incalculable.

I do hope you feel welcome and comfortable here and can talk as much as you'd wish

Croix

[Garry70]

Hi Tony

I've turned this night into a positive a few months ago as I had a set back after a post came into my news feed about a QLD driver being caught 6 times over the limit driving. All traffic offenders are made to attend a program by the courts once they are charged. I was approached to see if I could do up a draft on how accidents affect all Emergency workers on the front line. What I put together including this night, has now been included in the trauma package and every person who has to attend will get the print out so they get to read it and answer the questions I've asked at the start. So far the feed back people are saying about the program has been positive as they are walking out with a better attitude to their driving behaviour behind the wheel

[Garry70]

Hi Croix

I am no longer on the frontline as where I am now Fire and Rescue do road accidents. Yes I do miss being out there on the roads as I have thoroughly enjoyed my job and I'm still with them. I will be heading into my 25th year after the Christmas break so I'm still going strong.
When I rang the police I was told me they do not know how he managed to even walk let alone drive as he blew an alcohol reading of .500 and had been drinking behind the wheel before the impact as there was on open bottle on the top of the roof and he was covered in it. He landed 500 metres down the road upside down and he wasn't being released until he gave a breath test.

I took 2 weeks off from being called out for accidents and had the full support of the SES critical incident team. They wanted to know if I needed anyone at the funerals but I made it clear that I didn't want any SES there at all as I was going as his mate and to give my love and support to his family. His wife knew what I did at the time and said she was glad I wasn't there as I wouldn't been able to cope at the scene but there are times I wished I was as he wouldn't have gone alone.

How I coped with fatals, my first one was a single but before we released the driver, I was taken up to the vehicle and talked through how the process goes from time of arrival to after we are given the all clear by the police to finish our task and get the roads opened.

I know what the police go through when they have to do the walk of silence as the 2 that turned up didn't know what to say or do as once I told them I just found out, one of them said it was his first time in ever doing it and it's not something they are trained in doing. People do forget what the men and women in uniform have to go through and I don't think there is enough support for them out there.

[geoff]

hi Garry, I don't have too much say, except that I know it's the terrifying job you have done, especially for all these years.

I'm just so sorry the loss of your dear friend, that must really cut you down when it's happened to someone intoxicated, not only is very sad but annoyed that this person put themselves behind a wheel.

I just want to send you my best of wishes and also want to thank you so much for what you have been doing. Geoff.

[Mathy]

Hi Garry and welcome,

I live with PTSD as a result of a building accident, basically caused by individuals making poor decisions and looking to cut corners, in order to save money.

Garry, yourself and others in the emergency services face some awful things on a regular basis, I don’t know how any of you manage to do it.

The accident I was involved in, was a roof collapse, so the metro fire brigade were called. Those guys were amazing - not for what they did, because due to building instability, they could do nothing. But, they had an enormous amount of compassion and empathy for the survivors, who were sitting in a car park, bereft of their belongings - such as car keys, handbags, and importantly cigarettes! At that time, I smoked, as did a couple of the others, there was a couple of firemen who shared theirs with us. I know, that had there been nothing but non-smoking firemen, someone would have organised something.

Garry, you come from a unique and lovely community of people, the emergency service workers. I would like to thank you for the things you do for your community, because your collective group, benefits a community somewhere, everyday.

I feel that the trauma that occurs due to human stupidity or negligence is very difficult to forgive/process. Somehow, trauma that occurs due to an act of nature, seems to be easier. I don’t know why.

You have a wonderful attitude about those events that changed your life, it was lovely to read you posts, my best to you, cheers M 🙂

[Garry70]

Thanks Geoff, I was finally rewarded for my years of service on Friday night at the SES awards. I received my National Service Medals for 15 years with NSW and my 5 year certificate with QLD SES. I am looking forward to starting my 25th year in Jan. Hopefully I'll gain a few more skills behind me in the next 12 months