Ive always had depression and anxiety, only diagnoised with it at 16 but now 20 and recently diagnoised with ptsd but i dont feel like i fit into that category either but than i read an article about complex ptsd (cptsd) not necessarily "recognised" as a diagnosis but it just resonated more with me symptoms wise as a child i was severely bullied, at home was an ongoing yelling match between my parents that caused many nights of me crying wondering why this was and at 11 my mum and sister had a joint psychosis episode, my sister later to be diagnoised with bipolar disorder my mum with depression, for me alot of my trauma tended to come from other peoples behaviors towards me while going through there own problems or situations and though i realise these dont fit in the categorise of trauma for cptsd these all are very traumatic experience i experienced in the first 11years of my life an ongoing cycle. when i look at the symptoms of cptsd for me people have always had power over me in childhood and though not meaning to my parents put me in a situation i felt trapped and traumatised now i have problems going back to those memories i do look at them like im an outsider not someone who experienced(disassociation), i have issues forming relationships with new people. I react at the smallest things with anger and rage and yet feel so much guilt, i react to anxiety through nausea and stomach pains especially in social settings which leads me to have a drink...or two, i have nightmares from stress of life. I dont know i just feel as if cptsd clicks more with my symptoms than ptsd but i wasnt abused my parents just didnt know any better. But maybe im wrong i just feel trauma is different to each person it doesnt have to be the physical or even sexual abuse, it could be emotional but was not done on purpose by my parents but is an ongoing trauma i experienced in childhood that i feel had had an effect on my ability to grow as person as i get older.
What is your opinion? What do you think?
