PTSD - Motor Vehicle Accident

[PookieHasPTSD]

I have PTSD, Chronic pain & fatigue, Depression & Anxiety following a MVA almost 3 years ago(High speed head on collision with a Ute while I was passenger in a B-Double Truck),  I have had ongoing mental health & physical pain issues since. Now its just too much!
So over this right now!! I can't do it! I am in too much pain and can't seem to do it anymore. I am on the verge on a meltdown just thinking of such an early start for work. This is NOT normal behavior for me. I want OUT of this. I can't keep working like this anymore.
To be told to prepare for a busy week ahead to then be told to stay home for 3 days (no pay) is not on!
For this 6:00am start I have to be up at 4:00am for breakfast and to wake up enough to drive the half hour to get to work at 5:45am Pre-Start meeting (I don't get paid for!). My health is suffering so bad and I can't find anything to replace my job with to make my life better. My own stay at home business would be perfect but I need an income straight up, no stuffing around with network marketing and "might replace your income" stuff. I don't need "Feel sorry for you" stuff I need HELP!
If anyone knows anyone that needs a new worker that understands and would be compassionate about my health issues please let me know!
Or a way to start a business to earn a living from straight up!- Sounds desperate I know.... I am beginning to be desperate. 😞
(I can't take leave from work either as I am Casual = NO SICK PAY) I feel like running off to join the Circus.... But I just don't have the energy!
I almost begged my GP last visit for permission to stop working because I just can't cope anymore! 😞

[MarkJT]

Pookie, welcome to the forums and well done for dropping a post and seeking some advice.

Unfortunately i cannot do much about your work situation however with your mental health, are you on medication for that? Have you engaged with a psych or discussed it with your GP? I assume you have but did they give you a mental health plan?

I have PTSD, depression and anxiety and the things that I did to recover:

• Exercise: I know you are injured but is there any exercise that you can do? The links between exercising and improving mental health are well established so even a little bit of exercise would be great.
• Diet: See if you can improve your diet. Would be bloody hard being a trucky but perhaps take some fruit with you on trips etc. The better you eat, the better health you will have.
• Cut down or cut out alcohol consumption.
• Practice mindfulness. This is a really good grounding exercise for when the anxiety rises up. There are some really good apps out there that can guide you through it. I use "Smiling Mind" daily and it is awesome.
• Learn your triggers. Once you can identify them, then you are in a better place to control them.
• Have you dealt with the collision that you were in? That is something you may need to engage with a psych to properly deal with it. I did exposure therapy for my cause and it worked a treat.

I hope that you work out the employment situation quick but in the mean time, keep engaging with the forum. Let me know what you are doing about the PTSD.

Cheers

Mark.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi PookieHasPTSD,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out.

It sounds like there's a lot going on for you right now and I'm sorry that it's been so hard. There's a few different things that you mentioned in your post that all sound very distressing for you such as your work and your health; both of which seem to affect each other.

I hear you in that you said you need help, and I want to be as practical as I can. You said that your MVA was 3 years ago; can I ask who has been supporting you since then? When I say supporting I don't necessarily mean financially - but anyone who has been in your support team such as a GP, Psychologist or specialists (i.e. pain management clinics, alternative practitioners, etc).

I'm not sure what industry you're in or what your job is however it does sound very demanding on you; is this something that you've talked about with your employer? Was there any insurance or compensation after the accident? Have you looked into financial assistance?

MarkJT is absolutely spot on with the self-care strategies such as exercise, diet and mindfulness. These can have a significant effect; especially mindfulness which I know has been used extensively in research a lot for chronic pain with good results.

By the way I should note that I know I've asked a lot of questions here; of course you don't have to answer them but it might be something worth thinking about. I highly recommend having a chat to your GP if you haven't already and working out a way to move forward.​

[PookieHasPTSD]

There is a lot going on! I am a farm hand on a property run by Corporate's. It does my head in!
I am forced to work to get an income. The work I do is hard on my body and I have found I have cognitive issues that kick in while at work and make things difficult. I forget what I am meant to be doing next, I make stupid mistakes that I know better. I can not do the hours that are required by my employers and have just had the past week off due to drug weaning (Norspan - Morphine patches for pain) as the Authorities won't allow any more prescriptions to be filled. I feel physically weak, unmotivated, in pain constantly, I loose focus all the time and forget things too.
As far as support goes for the past 3 years I have seen a Mindfulness Counselor in the early days, a Psychologist for a few months and neither seemed to get to the bottom of things. It got me leveled out enough to function a bit better. That's about it. Both seemed as good as talking to my friends (as I do already in depth) and not get deep enough to help recovery.
I seemed to go ok for a year then I went downhill due to stress. I quit my job as a Dairy Heard Manager and took time off and went away for a couple of weeks with my fiance. They begged me to come back, so I did after 5 weeks away and stipulated that my hours be less and no early morning or weekend shifts to help get myself back on track. Basically part time work. It worked for 6 months then I got less and less hours and couldn't afford to stay any longer. So I changed jobs and ended up doing more than I expected and jumped into a farm job doing 10-12 hour days everyday and expected to do some weekends on top of that. So now I am exhausted.
I have been seeing two different GP's over the past 6 months trying to get to the bottom of things. It is taking forever and just seem to fixate on PTSD only. I feel there is more to it that is causing my pain and cognitive issues.
I have at long last got approval from the insurance company to see a pain specialist. Now I have been told my referring GP may not be back (to wrote said referral). So more bloody waiting!
Financially I have been supporting myself with some assistance from my now Husband. I can't leave my job because financially I can't afford to. But emotionally and physically I can't keep going either. The insurance claim won't payout until I am "stable", and at my last Psych assessment it could be another 12 months until my next assessment. 😕

[MarkJT]

Pookie, you certainly have a whole lot going on at the moment.

You mentioned that you did mindfulness and saw a psych in the early days. Can I take that to mean that you haven't been practicing mindfulness and seeing a psych since?

If this is the case, I would definitely recommend getting back to the psych. It takes a decent amount of psych work to get a person to settle down after PTSD and even then there is maintenance of ongoing recovery. If you didn't get much out of the first time you used a psych, seek out a different one. Understand that it may be difficult seeing a psych where you live (sounds rural) but please do not write off the psych industry all together as there are some really good ones out there. Find one that challenges you, it should not be easy going to a psych.

With mindfulness, i would encourage you to keep going with it. I used an app to help me learn "Smiling Mind" and once you have the knack of it, it is really calming.

You have so much on at the moment so be able to count on mindfulness to calm you down would be so beneficial.

Mark.

[PookieHasPTSD]

Hi. Thanks for your replies. It's been a hard couple of months. About two weeks after my original post My boss pulled me a side and told me to take a couple of months off the get my health sorted. In the nicest and most supportive way too I might add. In THE BUSIEST time of year too.
I was lucky I had a bit of money aside to take the time off. I have been to see the GP, had to change GP's as my usual left. I have found a good one to continue on with and medications are being reviewed. I have started seeing a Psych again and seems to be going ok. Sessions have been fortnightly since start of the year. The next one we will dig in a bit more.
My Chronic pain so horrible, depression is exhausting and I feel so flat. I have been to my Physio again and started something of a new approach from the normal "massage and feel better then worse" sessions to a more active approach of Pilates and moving on to Gym work. I think this will benefit my mental health as well.
I don't feel myself at the moment and can't seem to get out of my own way. Feeling quite lazy and too exhausted to do much.
Hopefully I can get in to see my Pain Specialist soon to help get things sorted too. Three years since my accident and it still has a hold over me. I hate it. Hate how it has taken over so much of my life and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel with the insurance claim yet either. Something that stresses me a lot.
I'd like to talk with others that are going through something similar.

[spt1988]

Hi Pookie,

I just joined up to this site today, and I seen your forum and thought it seemed kind of similar to my situation. almost 3 years ago I was riding my bike to work when a driver of a car failed to give way at a round about and hit me off my bike breaking my left femur. I had a spiral fracture that split my bone into 3 and required surgery and a metal rod and 4 screws to hold it all back together. like you also I have had ongoing chronic pain ever since, I have since had 2 more surgeries to remove all the metal but still the pain persists nearly 3 years on and is now having a bad effect on my hips and knee joints on both legs. I tried to return to my work as a spray painter 6 months after the accident even on light duties but still couldn't manage to keep up with demand, I stuck it out for a year and a bit trying all sorts of different solutions to help deal with the pain none of which had much effect. I have now since left my job last year to try and seek more suitable employment. but all I have known since leaving school is spray painting, so it is proving rather difficult to find anything else. I have had many interviews for jobs that my skills would b transferable but it seems no one wants to hire a broken person. Needless to say this has also had an effect on my mental health, I had a bit of a meltdown just before the first year past becoming serverly depressed and anxious. I have been seeing a psychiatrist ever since and have been put on some fairly heavy anti depressants. Even with all that I still find it hard to get better when there is still all this pain and money worrys. I have a claim underway aswell which also stresses me out and it just keeps getting pushed back further by the doctors who say I'm not stable yet. I'm only 28 but this whole experience has just drained the life out of me not to mention physically I now move like a 70 year old, I've forgotten what its like to be normal.

[MarkJT]

Pookie, you are doing so much right to give yourself the best chance of getting back to full health.

Unfortunately so many people either don't or are not capable of doing what you are doing, i.e. exercise and seeing the psych. Great work.

You have an awesome boss and it is important that you use this time for you. Don't stress about work, you have been given the time off to get healthy, use it wisely, which you are doing.

Absolutely the gym work will strengthen your mental health. Hope that you can get the chronic pain under somewhat control.

Like what i am reading here - going really well.

Mark.

[Croix]

Dear PookieHasPTSD~

As someone else that has gone though PTSD I, like most others, found I could say something similar to you:

I have found I have cognitive issues that kick in while at work and make things difficult. I forget what I am meant to be doing next, I make stupid mistakes that I know better.

MarkJT has a thread called:

Forums/ PTSD & Trauma/ Poor concentration due to PTSD

Which sets out various peoples' methods of dealing with this problem.

You may find it of help

Croix